Relentless (Nashville Nights) Page 13

  “Hey, sleepyhead, I was wondering when you were gonna get up.” She smiled over the rim of her coffee cup. “You and Jake have a hot date last night?”

  Unlike her father, Marisa knew that her relationship with Jake was not platonic. Marisa had become more of a friend than a stepmother to her over the years. When Nikki moved in with them, she made it clear that she had no interest in acting as a mother figure. She would much rather serve as confidante when the need arose. Given their age difference, the bond had forged quickly, becoming more solid as the years went on. Nikki often missed her mother and was grateful to have Marisa. Today was one of those days when she needed a voice of reason to help her find clarity.

  She sighed, taking a stool at the breakfast bar in favor of a cup of coffee. Propping her elbows on the granite countertop, she rested her chin in her palms. “Jake and I aren’t seeing each other anymore.”

  “Uh-oh.” Marisa set her newspaper aside and slid off her stool. She reached for a basket of fresh blueberry muffins on the counter by the stove, setting them beside Nikki with a stack of napkins. “Do you want to talk about it, honey?”

  Nikki dropped her face in her palms, trying to decide where to start. It seemed like her well-ordered life had been turned upside down with the force of a hurricane since a certain cowboy set his sights on her. “Before I get into this, where’s Dad?” The last thing she needed was for her father to overhear their conversation and start questioning her about her relationship with J.T.

  Not that she could define it if he asked. There was no relationship. She’d made that clear last night, but that didn’t stop her from thinking about him all night, claiming the precious few hours she usually reserved for sleep.

  “He took the boys to day camp. We have some time before he gets back.”

  The boys Marisa referred to were Nikki’s six-year-old half-brothers. Identical twins, as cute as they were mischievous.

  “Thank God,” she muttered.

  Marisa stroked her back, setting a cup of coffee in front of her. “I noticed you didn’t ask Jake to escort you to the awards ceremony the other night.”

  “He couldn’t get away,” she said quietly. After taking a muffin from the basket, she set it on a napkin and began to pick at it, popping small pieces into her mouth as she tried to find the words to explain a situation she didn’t even understand.

  Marisa perched on her stool. Reaching across the counter, she set her hand on top of Nikki’s. “Does this have something to do with J.T. McCall?”

  Nikki looked up, snapping her mouth shut before she could say something she might regret. Deciding to play it safe, she asked, “What makes you think that?”

  Marisa laughed. “You’d have to be blind not to notice the sparks flying between you two at the after party.”

  Nikki groaned as she squeezed her eyes shut. She’d been so into J.T. she hadn’t even stopped to consider how their intimate conversation must have looked to other guests, namely her father. “Did my dad say anything?”

  “Let’s just say he wasn’t too happy about it,” Marisa said carefully. “He wanted to talk to you about it, but he didn’t think the photo shoot was the best place to get into it. You didn’t get home until late last night, and he said you weren’t answering your cell phone when he called.”

  She knew she’d been a coward for avoiding her father, but a conversation with him seemed like more drama than she could handle when she was already reeling from her time with J.T. “I guess I can’t put it off forever, can I?”

  “Let’s forget about him for a minute. Tell me what’s going on with you.”

  “Forget about him?” Nikki chuckled. “That’s easy for you to say. You’ve got the man wrapped around your little finger. With me, he’s a tyrant.”

  “Sweetheart,” Marisa said, rubbing Nikki’s arm, “you know how much your dad loves you. His kids are the most important thing in the world to him. He just wants to protect you.”

  Nikki heaved a sigh. Knowing her stepmother was right didn’t make her father’s behavior any easier to tolerate. She wanted him to see her as a grown woman, not a child in need of protection like his six-year-old sons. “I know he means well, but he wants to control my life. How am I supposed to handle that?”

  “You could start by telling him how you feel,” Marisa said quietly.

  Nikki looked at her stepmother, considering the suggestion. Because Luc hadn’t been a part of her life growing up, they’d both been walking on eggshells for years, trying to forge a relationship. They were afraid to say or do anything that might alienate the other. “I don’t want to hurt him.”

  “Honey, your father has to realize that you’re a woman, not a little girl. You’re going to be twenty-four next week. That’s certainly old enough to start making your own decisions.”

  She set her half-eaten muffin aside and wrapped her hands around her warm coffee mug. “Dad and I have worked so hard to build a relationship; I don’t want to do anything to screw that up.”

  “Don’t you know that nothing you say or do could affect the way he feels about you? You’ll understand when you’re a parent, Nikki. A parent’s love for their child is unconditional.”

  Marisa wasn’t saying anything she hadn’t heard before, but coming from her, it had more significance because she knew that Marisa was the one person who knew her father’s heart. She was able to see beyond the cool veneer he presented to the rest of the world. “I know he wants me to focus on my career right now, and he’s right; that’s where my focus should be.”

  “Honey, your dad hasn’t had a lot of regrets in his life, but I happen to know one of his biggest regrets was that he put his career above being a father to you for so many years.”

  It still hurt her to think about it, but Nikki was determined not to dwell on the past anymore. “I don’t blame him for the choices he made back then. I’ve forgiven him.” She’d had to forgive him if she wanted to build a relationship with him. It had taken countless hours in a therapist’s office, but she and her father had finally been able to talk through the old hurts and frustrations and start anew. She didn’t want anyone or anything to create a new rift between them. She needed him in her life, especially now. He was the only one who could help her realize her goal of stardom.

  “I know you have, and I’m glad. Luc’s human; he made mistakes, just like the rest of us. But I’m suggesting you have the opportunity to learn from those mistakes. Don’t make your career your sole focus, honey. You have no idea when love might find you, and you have to be open to the possibility when it does.”

  She raked her hands through her tousled hair. “How am I supposed to do that? I barely have enough time to eat and sleep as it is. How am I going to work a relationship into the mix?”

  “Relationships don’t have to be all-consuming, especially not in the beginning. If you find someone who’s understanding and willing to take it slow, you might be able to make it work.”

  Someone like J.T.? In spite of what he said, he seemed like an all or nothing kind of guy. “I don’t know. It just seems like an added pressure I don’t need in my life right now.”

  Marisa leaned back, crossing her arms as she regarded her carefully. “What’s your heart telling you?”

  She closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. “First off, it was telling me that it was time to let Jake go.”

  She nodded. “I think you made the right call. It was obvious that he was developing real feelings for you.”

  “Yeah, it wasn’t fair to insist we maintain a casual relationship when I knew I’d never be able to give him more.”

  Marisa smiled. “But I want to talk about that sexy cowboy. What’s the deal with him?”

  Nikki blushed, lowering her head. “Well, I was eighteen when we first met. Right here, in fact. Dad was hosting that party for Trey, and the first time I saw him…” She laughed. “Let’s just say I was hooked.”

  Marisa frowned, looking concerned. “No
thing happened back then, did it? He must have been in his late twenties.”

  “No, God no.” She smiled at the memory. “He told me to come back and see him when I was legal.”

  “Smart man,” Marisa muttered.

  Nikki rolled her eyes. “I was legal at eighteen.”

  “Maybe in the eyes of the law, but not in the eyes of your father.”

  Nikki leaned forward, bracing her crossed arms on the countertop. “Yeah, I’m sure that was a factor in J.T.’s decision back then. I could tell he was attracted to me; we were attracted to each other.”

  “Go on.”

  “I’ve done a little digging over the years,” Nikki said, almost embarrassed to admit how much time she’d spent online researching the rodeo king. “Let’s just say I was intrigued.”

  “You must know that he has quite a reputation with the ladies.”

  She scowled, feeling the need to defend J.T. “Sorta like your husband and brother before they settled down?”

  Marisa laughed, holding her hands up. “Point taken. I’m not attacking him; I just want you to be aware of what you’re getting yourself into with him.”

  “I’m not getting myself into anything.” She sighed. “I told him I couldn’t see him again. I need to focus on my career.”

  Marisa whistled softly. “How’d he take it?”

  “He wasn’t happy about it, but I think he understood.”

  “That surprises me,” Marisa said. “I didn’t think he was the kind of man to give up without a fight.”

  “It’s not like I gave him much of a choice.”

  Marisa smiled. “A man always has a choice, honey. If he wants you, really wants you, he’s not gonna slink off with his tail between his legs. He’ll stand up to you, your father, anyone he needs to, just to earn the chance to be with you.”

  Nikki heard the back door slam and she sat up straighter, putting her finger to her lips to silence her stepmother. The heavy footsteps echoing down the hall told her that her father was about to ream her out, yet again.

  He stood in the doorway, a scowl on his handsome face. “Where the hell have you been? I tried to reach you half the goddamn day yesterday. Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

  She shrugged, knowing she would have to let him blow off a little steam before he was ready to listen to reason. “I sent you a text. I went out to Ty’s parents’ house for a bit, and then he and Avery invited me over for dinner. They wanted to discuss the tour.” In fact, they’d barely discussed the tour, but her father didn’t need to know that.

  “Yeah, I texted you back and told you to call me, which you never did.”

  “Sorry.” She rubbed her tired eyes. “I’m here now. What did you want to talk to me about?”

  Marisa eased off her stool and slid in behind Nikki, squeezing her shoulders as she walked past. “Don’t let him give you a hard time. You know his bark is worse than his bite.”

  Nikki giggled as Luc glowered at his wife. “I’m not amused.”

  Marisa marched up to her husband, pointing a finger into the middle of his chest. “Then you need to get a sense of humor. When you’re finished talking to your daughter, I’d like to have a word with you.”

  He frowned. “What’d I do?”

  Nikki tried to hide her smile, seeing her big, tough father at the mercy of his pretty little wife was amusing, to say the least.

  “I didn’t say you did anything. Just come see me when you’re through here.”

  He turned to watch her walk down the hall, a smirk on his face. By the time he turned back to Nikki, his blue eyes, a mirror reflection of her own, were dark with disapproval. “I want to know what the hell is goin’ on with you and McCall.”

  She decided to buy a little time by feigning innocence, not that she expected to fool her old man for a minute. He was too shrewd to be taken in by anyone, even those he had a soft spot for. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, taking a sip of her lukewarm coffee. “What makes you think there’s something going on between me and J.T.?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Hell, I don’t know, it must’ve been the fact that he started salivating at the sight of you.”

  She tried to hide her smile behind her coffee cup. The thought of making J.T. drool made her positively giddy, but she couldn’t let her father in on that little secret. “Your eyes must have been playing tricks on you, Dad.” She smiled sweetly. “It could be time for you to pay a little visit to the eye doctor. You know what they say about the eyesight being the first thing to go, and given your age…”

  He pointed a finger at her. “Don’t get smart with me, young lady. And don’t think I don’t know you’re trying to distract me.”

  She sighed, deciding the only way he was going to let this rest was if she put his mind at ease. “Fine, tell me what you think you saw.”

  “It’s not what I think; it’s what I know.” He walked to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup of java before leaning against the counter behind her. “You forget—I was in J.T.’s shoes not all that long ago. I know what he’s thinkin’…”

  The last thing she wanted was to think about her father’s sexual escapades. “Why don’t you enlighten me?”

  “He’s thinking about getting you into bed.”

  She choked on her coffee, almost spewing a mouthful clear across the counter. She and her father had never openly discussed sex before, and she was hoping it was a topic they could avoid indefinitely. “If you think I’m going to talk to you about this, you’re crazy,” she said, when she was finally able to speak again.

  He walked around the counter, bracing his hands on the hard surface, as he looked her in the eye. “There’s somethin’ you’re not telling me. What the hell’s goin’ on between you two?”

  She shifted on the bar stool, wishing she could disappear, or at the very least, fake a sudden bout of nausea. “Nothing. I told him I don’t have time for a relationship right now. I need to focus on my career.”

  “You’re right about that,” he muttered. “So why do I get the feelin’ you’re not tellin’ me everything?”

  She decided challenging him was the only way to get him to back down. “Because I’m not, and I don’t feel I should have to. I love you, but my personal life is my business. I’m almost twenty-four years old. I’m not a child anymore, and you really need to stop treating me like one.”

  He reared back as though she had struck him. “Is that what you think, that I’m not willing to let you grow up?”

  She felt guilty for calling him out, knowing he loved her and was just trying to protect her. Still, she had to set some ground rules for their relationship now, or risk being treated like a child for the rest of her life. “Look, I know you’re trying to make up for lost time,” she said quietly. Even after years of therapy, there were still topics that were difficult to talk about, like the years they spent apart. She rarely brought up the past because she didn’t want him to think that she harbored unresolved resentment, but she knew they couldn’t avoid talking about it if they were going to build a bridge for the kind of adult relationship she hoped to have with him.

  “I hate the fact that I wasn’t there for you growing up, Nikki. You don’t know what it’s like, having to live with the guilt and regret every damn day,” he whispered, his voice cracking.

  She slid off the stool and walked around the counter to face him. It was rare to see her father exposing his vulnerability, and she had no idea how to help him make peace with their past, but she wanted to try. She looked up at him, smiling. “You’re a great dad; don’t ever doubt that.”

  He shook his head, the tears brimming in his blue eyes. “A good dad wouldn’t have walked away from his kid without looking back.”

  She gripped his forearm. “You said you thought about me every day during those years.”

  “I did, but that wasn’t enough. I should have reached out to you, I should have…”

  She touched his lips. “Please, don’t punish yoursel
f anymore. I love you; I forgive you. You need to forgive yourself.”

  He pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on the top of her head. “Honey, when you’re a parent, you’ll understand the way I’m feeling now. Then you’ll ask yourself how that bastard could’ve left you without a father.”

  She pulled back to look at him, shocked by the ferocity of his words. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”

  “You want to know the truth? I’m terrified that’s exactly what’s gonna happen, and I’ll lose you all over again,” he whispered.

  “Daddy,” she said, slipping her arms around his waist, “you never have to worry about that. Nothing and no one could ever change the way I feel about you.”

  “I pray to God you’re right, honey. If I lost you now, I don’t know how the hell I’d cope with that.”

  She gripped his biceps. “That’s never gonna happen. Nothing could break the bond between us. But I do need you to do something for me.”

  “What’s that?” he asked, sounding apprehensive.

  “I need you to give me a little space to make my own choices, my own mistakes, as the case may be. You can’t expect me to live in this safe zone all my life, where you call all the shots because you want to protect me from getting hurt.”

  “I just don’t want to see you get mixed up with a guy like J.T. McCall. It’ll end in disaster.”

  Feeling angry and defensive on J.T.’s behalf, she asked, “How can you be so sure?”

  “I know all about that guy, honey. Trust me; he’s the poster boy for the kind of dude you want your little girl to steer clear of.”

  She knew her father was probably right, but that didn’t make it any easier to hear. She wanted to believe J.T. when he told her she was special, but the voice of reason inside her head told her she was just deluding herself. He probably fed every woman the same line, just to get her into bed. “J.T. and I are consenting adults, Dad. Whatever happens, or doesn’t happen, between us is our business, not yours.”