Time Out (Nashville Nights Next Generation -6) Page 13

  “I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” she said and started the car.

  “You give so freely of yourself in bed. I don’t even know if you realize it, but when you make love to me, all of your walls come down. You’re like a different person.”

  During the intimacy of lovemaking, she felt her weakest and most vulnerable. That’s why she’d only had four partners, including Nick. Letting someone see her in that state was terrifying.

  Megan looked in her rear-view mirror to make sure no obstacles were in her path before she backed out. She turned on the radio and hoped Nick would take the hint she didn’t want to talk anymore.

  ***

  Megan was silent most of the way home, so Nick wasn’t surprised she drove right by his house.

  “What are you doin’?”

  “I’m spending the night at your parents’. I’d rather not have to walk in these heels.”

  “You’re not goin’ to my parents’ house, Meg. You’re comin’ home with me.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea. We’re both tired-”

  He slammed his palm into the dashboard, making her jump. “You’re right. I’m tired. I’m tired of you making excuses and pretendin’ you don’t feel anything for me. I’m tired of bein’ the only one who gives a goddamn about whether this works.”

  Megan swerved to the side of the road and threw the car in park, leaving a trail of dust in her wake. “You don’t think I care? You don’t know that I think about you all the time?” She unfastened the front of her dress.

  Nick’s mouth went dry as he watched her strip away her pale blue bra and panties. “What the hell…” Not that he was complaining. He’d take Megan anywhere he could get her.

  “You don’t know that you rock my world every damn time we have sex?” She climbed over the gearshift into his lap.

  He reclined the seat, positioning her so she straddled him.

  She fisted her hands in his hair, tugging his head back. “I hate the way you make me feel: jealous, uncertain…” She kissed him hard as she ripped open his shirt.

  He’d never seen her like that, so out of control. No way in hell was he ever letting her go. If he’d ever questioned whether she would be the one to turn his world upside down, he had his answer.

  “But I can’t get enough.” She eased up his body, urging him to draw her nipple into his mouth. “The way you make me feel…” She moaned, throwing her head back. “You’re like a drug. I can’t get enough.”

  He had waited so long to break through her walls. He felt the dam burst, and the passion she’d held at bay for so long finally broke free. She was as hungry and desperate for him as he was for her.

  “Don’t fight it,” he muttered between hungry kisses. “Just trust me. Trust yourself.”

  Her tortured sob filled the car, and it killed him to know she was still so determined to fight the inevitable. “Let me love you,” he whispered, knowing that was probably the last thing she wanted to hear. He’d regret the things left unsaid for the rest of his life if he censored himself.

  “Please tell me you have protection,” she muttered, kissing his neck.

  “I think there’re some condoms in the glove box.”

  She raised an eyebrow as she levered herself up, using his chest for support. “I’m not even gonna ask why.”

  He grinned. “Yeah, it’s probably best you don’t.”

  Her mood darkened almost instantly. Lust was replaced with longing and unmistakable sadness. “I’ll probably spend the rest of my life wondering…”

  Nick was almost afraid to ask. He felt her withdrawing as he tried to hold on tighter. The back and forth was killing him, but he couldn’t let her go. “Wonderin’ what, sweetheart?”

  “What she’s like.”

  Her response was so soft he had to strain to hear it, but he knew without asking she wouldn’t have the nerve to repeat it. She had already stepped so far out of her safe zone, and that alone gave him reason to hope. “Who, baby?”

  “The woman who finally captures your heart. Who gets to wear your wedding ring, share your name, have your babies.” A tear fell onto his chest, and she quickly brushed it away.

  “Why can’t that be you? Why won’t you give yourself to me?” He held her head between his hands, refusing to allow her to flee.

  She pushed against his chest, trying to break free. “I can’t. I just can’t.”

  “But you can give me your body. Why? Isn’t that worth guardin’?” She shivered, and Nick knew he was getting to the root of some of her issues.

  “I don’t want to talk.” She tried to climb out of his lap, but he held her firmly in place.

  “I’m not gonna let you run. Or hide. Not from me.” He drew her face closer so he could kiss her. Only one kiss, that’s what he told himself. But one was never enough. Once he got a taste of her, his hunger became insatiable.

  He closed his eyes when he heard her rummaging around in the glove box. He was letting her use sex as a means of escaping their issues, but he didn’t have the will to resist. His entire body quivered with the urge to make love to her again.

  Nick didn’t take his eyes off her as she took him to an even higher state of arousal. By the time she was finally ready to put him out of his misery, his head felt as if it would explode. Perspiration made his chest slick as she lowered her body, taking him deeper than he thought she could with just one lunge.

  He felt her stretching to accommodate him, tightening to encase him, and his mind went blank as his body took over. He grabbed her waist and gave her what they both needed to wipe away the fear of an uncertain future.

  She whispered in his ear, “I love seeing you like this. I love knowing I make you as crazy as you make me.” She trembled. “Knowing I have this kind of power over you-”

  He trapped her in his gaze. “You own me.”

  She trembled again from the force of the orgasm he felt move through her body. “Nick…”

  His name on her lips coupled with the look of helpless abandon in her eyes sent him spiralling over the edge with her.

  Chapter Twelve

  Megan woke up the next morning with Nick’s hot breath fanning her neck, and she allowed herself a brief moment of bliss as she curled into his arms. He was so strong. He made her feel safe, as though no one and nothing could hurt her as long as he remained by her side.

  A contented little sigh escaped before she realized he was awake.

  “My sentiments exactly,” he said, kissing her shoulder. “Why don’t I make you some breakfast? Then we can go into town to pick up your car and get little Trey a birthday present. What do you get for a kid whose old man is a billionaire and spoils him rotten?”

  Megan smiled. She had seen Liam with his son, and Nick’s assessment seemed accurate. The boy clearly had his daddy wrapped around his chubby little finger. “I don’t know. A pony, maybe?” She was kidding, of course, but she got nervous when she rolled over and saw the wicked gleam in Nick’s eye.

  “That’s perfect! I was gonna sell Last Song’s only remaining mare to a rancher in Texas, but we couldn’t agree to the terms.” He sat up and reached for his cell phone. He fired off a text or an email.

  Megan knew Last Song was one of the two horses Nick had competing in the upcoming Kentucky Derby. The same one who won last year. She grabbed his arm. “That horse must be worth a fortune.”

  He lifted a shoulder. “So what?”

  “Are you sure you want to give such a valuable horse to a toddler?”

  Nick laughed. “Alisa’s always been like family to me and I know how much a kid’s first horse means to him. I care about little Trey, not the money.”

  Megan’s heart stuttered as she processed his words. If he adored Alisa’s little boy that much, how much would he love his own wife and children one day?

  “What’s wrong? You okay?” he asked, setting his phone aside.

  She looked at him, trying to conceal the fact her heart was breaking. Nick was every
thing she could have ever wanted, if only she could be everything he needed. “I’m fine.”

  He frowned. “You’re lyin’. Why?”

  “You’re just such a good man, Nick. Sometimes, I let myself forget that.”

  “What does that mean?”

  How could she tell him she wasn’t used to breathing the same air as a man who loved so selflessly and without reservation? She was accustomed to being used and mistreated. As she’d gotten older, she realized she could protect herself by refusing to let anyone get too close.

  “Talk to me,” he said, reaching for her hand.

  Nick asked because he cared, and that meant more to Megan than he realized. “I love that you’re so protective of the people you love.”

  “Why wouldn’t I want to look out for the people I care about? That goes with the territory, right?”

  “You give of yourself without thinking about the cost, and I don’t know if you even realize how rare that is.”

  He kissed her hand. “Sweetheart, I know you didn’t have it easy growin’ up, and I’m not even gonna pretend to know what you went through, but the past doesn’t have to define you.”

  She looked at their joined hands. His were tanned, strong, and calloused. Hers were much smaller, softer, and manicured. It just reminded her of the glaring differences between them. “Your past shapes the person you become whether you want it to or not, Nick. We all have bruises that never heal.”

  He held her close before whispering in her ear, “I’m willin’ to bet those bruises could fade with time.”

  She shook her head. “That’s wishful thinking.”

  “I just want to make you happy. Why can’t you let me?”

  Megan knew he meant it, but he didn’t have the power to make her happy. No one did. She used her career as an escape mechanism. The world saw her on TV and thought her life must be so perfect. She was attractive, had a great career, mingled with the rich and famous. They didn’t see the reflection she saw every morning, the lifeless eyes and haunting sorrow makeup couldn’t conceal. Only when the bright lights followed her could she become the person the world expected.

  “I don’t know how to be happy.” It was a gut-wrenching admission, but he deserved the truth.

  “Let me show you.”

  She looked up at him, and she knew if her hardened heart could ever soften enough to let her love a man, Nick would be the one. She’d told Nick she’d loved Brock when in fact, she had tried to love him but had fallen just short.

  She stroked the bristle covering his jaw. “You can’t. But I refuse to bring you down with me, Nick. You do know what it means to be happy, and you deserve to be happy. Being with me would eventually make you miserable. You may not see it now, but I know how it was between Brock and me in the end. My heart hurt just looking at him. He tried so hard to give me what I needed, but he couldn’t, because I didn’t even know what I needed.”

  “Is it possible I’m what you need?”

  She literally ached when she heard the hope in his voice. He was an optimist, a man who believed anything was possible if he worked hard and stayed focused, but she was a realist. She knew it didn’t matter how much she wished for something. Sometimes it just wasn’t meant to be.

  “I should go.” She reached for the edge of the duvet to throw the covers back.

  “Please, don’t.” He pulled her back against his chest, his arms circling her. “I’m sorry I keep pushin’. I’ve just never wanted anything as much as I want this to work. The thought of you leavin’ Nashville… I don’t even wanna think about it.” He pressed his lips to the hollow of her neck.

  Walking away then was the right thing to do, but she couldn’t. He held her tight, and instead of insisting he let her go, Megan sank into the comfort he offered. One more day with him would only make letting him go that much harder. It was wrong. It was cruel. But for the first time in a long time, she felt powerless to help herself.

  ***

  “I still can’t believe Nick gave my son a horse! I mean, really, who does that?” Alisa said, laughing.

  Megan smiled. Everyone had been blown away by Nick’s generosity, but Alisa insisted they wouldn’t allow their son to start taking riding lessons for a while. “It was pretty out there.”

  “In the best possible way. I love that man so much.” Alisa grinned.

  Megan was struck by how easily the group showed affection. They always hugged and teased each other, and even an outsider could tell how much they meant to one another.

  “How about you?” Alisa asked before taking a bite of her carrot stick. “Can you say the same?”

  Caught off guard, Megan blushed. “I… uh…”

  Alisa’s clear blue eyes hardened. “If you can’t, I suggest you let him go before he gets hurt.”

  “Hurting Nick is the last thing I want to do.”

  Alisa touched Megan’s forearm. “Look, I like you a lot. You’re a sweet girl, but Nick is like a brother to me. Anyone who hurts him has to answer to me.”

  Tears sprung to Megan’s eyes. She wasn’t surprised someone had questioned her relationship with Nick. She just hadn’t expected it to be a woman she was beginning to consider a friend. “I understand how you feel.”

  “No, you don’t.” Alisa ushered Megan into a smaller sitting room off the kitchen. She closed the door and pointed at one of two armchairs facing each other. “Sit down. Please.”

  Realizing she didn’t have a choice unless she wanted to make a scene, Megan complied. Her hand trembled as she brought her wine glass to her lips. She had gotten good at handling confrontations out of necessity, but she felt as if the ground beneath her feet was giving way, and she was trying her best to find something solid to hold onto.

  Alisa claimed the other chair. “Before I met Liam, I was engaged. My fiancé cheated on me, broke my heart. I thought I’d never get over it.”

  “But you obviously did.”

  “Thanks to Liam. He was in a bad place too. He was a workaholic trying to make time for a daughter he adored, desperate to be all things to all people. There was no place in his life for a relationship, but that didn’t stop us from falling in love.” She smiled. “The heart wants what it wants, Megan. We can’t do a damn thing about that.”

  Unsure how to respond, Megan took another sip of her wine and waited for Alisa to continue.

  “Making excuses about why our relationship would never work would have been so easy. We even tried that for a while. But we both realized if today was our last day on earth, we’d want to spend it together.”

  Megan held her breath, afraid to breathe. If she opened her mouth, all of the emotion she’d bottled up for so long would pour out.

  Alisa grasped Megan’s hand. “Ask yourself that question, Megan. If this was your very last day on earth, is Nick the person you’d want to spend it with? If so, stop wasting time and grab on to what you want with both hands before you lose it. Think about that, okay?”

  Megan could only nod as Alisa crossed the room. She waited until Alisa closed the door softly behind her before she gave in to the tears.

  ***

  Nick looped an arm around Alisa’s neck. “Hey, Ali, you see my girl anywhere?”

  “She’s in the sitting room,” Alisa said, pointing to a closed door off the kitchen. “But if I were you, I’d give her a few minutes.”

  Warning bells sounded immediately. He’d been watching Megan, when he wasn’t standing next to her, and she seemed to be having a great time. “What the hell happened?”

  “We had a talk.”

  Nick scowled at Alisa. The last thing he needed was other people throwing more obstacles in their path. “What did you say to her?”

  “I told her I didn’t want to see you get hurt.”

  “Damn it.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. “I know your heart was in the right place, but you shouldn’t have said anything to her about us. I’m still tryin’ to get through to her, to make her believe we could
have a future together.”

  “Honey, you shouldn’t have to try so hard. That’s my point. If she cared for you, she wouldn’t try to keep you at arm’s length.”

  Nick raised an eyebrow. “Really? ‘Cause you never tried to fight your feelings for Liam in the beginnin’, right? Who the hell are you to pass judgement?”

  She pulled on the front of his shirt. “Listen to me. I love you like the brother I never had. If some girl is jerking you around, I don’t mind being the one to tell her to back the hell off.”

  “You don’t understand. Meg’s not like that. She’s got a lot of issues, but…” He couldn’t make Alisa understand something he didn’t understand himself. “Could I choose a girl who made my life easier? Hell, yeah! But she’s the one I want, Ali. She’s got me all tied up in knots. One minute I want to shake her until her teeth chatter, and the next I want to drop to one knee and tell her I can’t live without her. I don’t know what the hell to do.” He thrust a hand through his hair.

  “How do you think she feels about you?”

  “I know she’s scared, but we have this incredible connection. I’ve never experienced anything like it.”

  “Are you sure you’re not gonna get hurt?”

  “No, but were you sure you weren’t gonna get hurt when you decided to take a chance on Liam?” When Alisa just grinned, Nick said, “That’s what I thought. Love’s a gamble, Ali-”

  Alisa threw her arms around his neck, causing him to stumble backward into the wall. “I’m so happy for you! I just knew she was the one, Nick!” She bounced up and down as she dug her nails into his biceps.