Hero Worship (Music City Moguls Book 6) Page 14

  “Seems like it,” Den agreed. “I know it can’t have been easy for her, doing it all on her own.”

  “She wasn’t all alone,” Clint said. “She had her mama livin’ just upstairs. I know she helped a lot.”

  “Still, it’s not the same as having a father figure for the kid.”

  “No, I guess it isn’t.” Natasha texted Clint that they were twenty minutes away, so Clint closed the lid on the barbeque. He’d wait a few more minutes before throwing the chicken wings on the grill.

  “You think you might like to fill that role?” Den asked.

  “What role is that?” Clint asked, hedging. He knew what Den was getting at, but with Natasha and Austin on their way, he didn’t want to get into anything too heavy with his brother.

  “Becomin’ Austin’s stepdaddy. Lot of responsibility goes with that title, little brother, and it sounds like the kid already idolizes you.”

  “I knew Natasha had a son when we started dating.” Clint took a swig from his beer bottle as he rested his backside on the edge of the picnic table. “So, yeah, of course I thought about what it would be like to be a stepparent if we wound up together.”

  “And?”

  “And I’m ready.” Clint couldn’t figure out why his brother was questioning his intentions. He had to know how much Natasha meant to Clint. He hadn’t exactly made a secret of his feelings. “I’d love for us to have a baby together too, when and if the time is right.”

  “I remember you used to say you wanted a big family,” Den said, looking up as the clouds moved in to conceal the sun. “You still feel that way?”

  “A lot depends on Natasha,” Clint said, feeling as though he were on trial. “She’s open to the idea of having more kids, but that doesn’t mean she’d be up for two or three more. Whatever makes her happy will make me happy.”

  “Don’t be so sure about that,” Den said, giving his brother a cryptic look. “I used to think the same way, that whatever made Julie happy would make me happy, but after a while, I realized that just because two people love each other doesn’t mean they see eye-to-eye on all the big issues.”

  As Julie’s confidant, Clint knew better than most how often his sister-in-law and brother hadn’t agreed, but reminding Den of that seemed cruel. “I guess it’s all about compromise, right? You dig your heels in on some issues and let the other ones slide.”

  “Like you’re an expert?” Den asked, curling his lip in derision. “You’ve never been in a serious relationship in your life.”

  “Excuse me?” Clint couldn’t understand where Den’s hostility was coming from. Sure, he and his brother fought as much as most siblings, but they were always upfront about their issues with each other.

  “You heard me.” Den glared at the beer bottle in his hand as though it were somehow the source of his resentment. “You’ve always been skirting around getting married, dating, but never getting too serious. Why is that?”

  “I guess I never met the right girl.” He’d had passing thoughts over the years about what it would be like to be married to Natasha, but he’d never let himself dwell on the possibility too long, mainly because he’d been convinced she didn’t share his feelings.

  “Or maybe you did find the right woman, but you knew you couldn’t have her.”

  Clint assumed Den was referring to Natasha. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t know. I just know it’s never felt right until now.”

  “So you could see yourself marrying Natasha?”

  “I thought I made that clear,” Clint said, setting his bottle on the picnic table with a thud. “You don’t believe me?”

  “I just wonder whether you’re the kind of man she needs.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Clint demanded, feeling his blood pressure rise. No one could push his buttons quite like his own family. “You think Tash is too good for me? Is that what you’re saying?”

  “I think she’s been through a lot,” Den said, shielding his eyes with a cowboy hat as he looked at his brother. “She needs a man she can count on.”

  Now he was pushing too far. “She has a man she can count on.”

  “Really?” Den smirked. “Can she count on you to be honest with her… about everything?”

  “Who the hell are you to question me about my relationship? You know nothing about—”

  “I’ve spent some time getting to know Natasha. I have a pretty good sense of the kind of woman she is.”

  “Is that so?” Clint asked, folding his arms over his chest. “Enlighten me. What kind of woman do you think she is? Since you seem convinced you know her so well…”

  “I think she’s someone who values honesty above all else.”

  Clint couldn’t argue with that. That was one of the key points she kept trying to drive home to Austin: always be honest, no matter what. “Yeah, so?”

  “Can you claim you’ve always been completely honest with her?”

  “Of course.” His brother didn’t often call his character into question, and Clint really resented it, especially since Den didn’t seem able to justify his sudden attitude.

  “Then you’ve told…?” Den’s voice trailed off as Natasha’s car pulled up the drive.

  Austin bounded out of the car before Natasha had a chance to put it in park. “Hey, Clint.” He ran over to grab Clint’s hand and pull him into a half-hug. “Hi, Den. Is Ry around? He said we could go for a ride if I got here before dark.”

  “You’ll find him in the stables,” Den said. “He’s been waitin’ on you.”

  “Thanks,” Austin said, taking off toward the stables.

  “Don’t go too far,” Clint called after Austin. “I’m about to put some wings on the grill.”

  Austin raised his hand to let Clint know he’d heard him. Clint walked toward Natasha’s car to help her unload it, hoping his brother would take the hint and make himself scarce. After the conversation they’d just had, the last thing Clint wanted was to break bread with him.

  “Hey, beautiful,” Clint said, giving Natasha a kiss before pulling her into a tight embrace.

  “Hey, yourself.” She giggled when she sensed his reluctance to let her go. “I missed you too.”

  “Let me get the stuff out of the car,” he said, noting the bags in the backseat. “Just pop the trunk.”

  “No hurry.” She hooked a thumb over her shoulder. “The only things we need to take in now are the groceries, and they’re in the backseat. I can get our overnight bags and the decorations later.”

  “Sounds good.” He was anxious to put some distance between himself and his brother so Natasha wouldn’t sense the tension. “I’ll take the food inside and grab you a glass of wine. Den’s on the porch. Why don’t you go say hello?”

  “Oh, but I should help you with all this,” she said, gesturing to the car.

  “No need, I’ve got it.”

  “If you say so.” Natasha tugged on the front of his plaid shirt, frowning. “Hey, are you okay? You seem kind of tense. This party isn’t stressing you out, is it?”

  Clint chuckled. “No, not at all. In fact, I don’t know who’s looking forward to it more: me or Austin.”

  ***

  Natasha and Clint were blowing up balloons, using the helium tank he’d insisted on renting, to decorate the tent he’d had his ranch hands set up earlier that day. Since he owned the tent, he figured they may as well use it and make it more festive while sheltering the food.

  “Den seemed kind of quiet.” Natasha sensed Clint and his brother had gotten into an argument before she arrived, but since both were so tight-lipped, she had no idea what it could have been about. She didn’t want to pry, but she wanted Clint to know she was more than willing to listen if he wanted to talk about it.

  “Yeah, I don’t know what the hell his problem is,” Clint said, tying off another blue balloon. “I guess he’s just in a mood. Don’t let it bother you.”

  “I wasn’t, but it seems to be bothering you. Den’s not the only
one who seemed a little introspective tonight.” She didn’t want to seem paranoid, but she couldn’t help wondering whether his melancholy mood had more to do with her than his brother. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

  “Den was just questioning me about…” Clint shook his head. “No, it doesn’t matter. I promised myself I wouldn’t let his bad mood spoil our evening.”

  Natasha touched Clint’s arm. “Try not to be too hard on him, hon. It can’t be easy for him watching us together so soon after losing Julie.”

  A look of regret passed over Clint’s face before his eyes fell to Natasha’s hand. “Den’s not the only one who lost Julie,” he snapped, turning his back on her. “We all did. He seems to forget that. A lot of people loved that woman and are having a hard time dealing with the fact we’re never gonna see her again.”

  Natasha could tell she’d hit a nerve. Clint had always been intensely emotional when they talked about Julie, but something was different tonight. He seemed angry or frustrated, maybe because of his argument with Den. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to open old wounds. I know you’re all still hurting. I just don’t want to see you guys let your grief tear you apart.” She shifted her body so she was facing him again. “I know it hurts, but Julie’s not coming back, and you and Den need to focus on helping each other and Ryland come to terms with that. Think of how her son must be feeling.”

  “You’re right.” Clint hung his head. “My petty differences with my brother don’t matter in the face of all that kid’s lost.”

  Natasha was trying to decipher whether Clint was comparing his loss to Den’s because that was how it felt to her. But Clint had only been Julie’s friend, her brother-in-law, while Den had been her husband, the love of her life, and the father of her child.

  “Let’s table this conversation,” Clint said, stepping past her to affix the balloons to one of the four posts they’d driven into the ground. “I don’t feel like talkin’ about it anymore. I’d much rather talk about Austin. What did you decide to get him for his birthday?”

  “Concert tickets.” She smiled. “You know he’s a big country music fan, so I pulled a few strings and got four tickets to D.J.’s next concert in Nashville. Aside from you, D.J.’s just about his favorite singer, and since Titan represents him, he was happy to help me out.”

  “He’s a good guy and a hell of an opening act. I’ll miss having him on tour with me now that he’s headlining his own shows.” Reaching for several more of the balloons they’d loosely tied to a chair while they’d finished inflating them, he said, “It goes without saying I’d like you to bring Austin to my show in Nashville too. Front row center with backstage passes so he can meet the band and opening acts.”

  “He’d love that,” Natasha said, touched by his thoughtfulness. Not that she was surprised. Clint usually went out of his way to do nice things for her and her son. She watched him tie the balloons to the post. “Are you sure these will hold up? Maybe we should have waited ‘til the morning to put them up.”

  “No worries.” He stood back to check out his handiwork. “My party planners usually do most of the setup the night before if there’s no rain in the forecast. Besides, it’ll be too hectic in the morning. Don’t you think?”

  “I guess you’re right,” Natasha said, slipping her arms around Clint’s waist while laying her head on his chest. “I can’t thank you enough for doing this for him. This will no doubt go down as his best birthday on record.”

  Clint chuckled as he stroked her hair. “For the tenth time, it’s my pleasure.”

  “He’s at that age when he thinks he’s too big for birthday parties, but having it out here with all this”—she gestured toward the spread of land—“is way cooler than anything I could have pulled off on my own.”

  “You don’t have to prove anything to Austin. He knows how much you love him. That’s all that counts. By the way,” he said, tugging on her hair until she tipped her head back to look at him. “Thanks for letting me get him that iPod. I think he’ll love it.”

  Natasha rolled her eyes. “I know he’ll love it.”

  “So can your mama make it tomorrow?”

  “She wouldn’t miss it.”

  “Good. I’m looking forward to meeting her.”

  Natasha groaned. “Not half as much as she wants to meet you.” She dropped her head against his chest. “I’ve asked her to be on her best behavior, but that doesn’t mean she won’t embarrass you by asking you questions she has no business asking.”

  “Like what?” Clint linked his hands around her waist. “How much money I make or how many girlfriends I’ve had?”

  Natasha was grateful he seemed amused by the prospect of being grilled by her well-meaning mother. “More like what your intentions are regarding her daughter. Sometimes she forgets that I’m an adult and I don’t need her running my life.”

  “I think it’s sweet that she looks out for you,” Clint said, setting her long hair over her shoulder. “And don’t worry, she can’t offend me. She’s welcome to ask me anything that puts her mind at ease about me being the right man for her little girl.”

  “You don’t have to prove anything to her,” Natasha said as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “You’ve already proven to me that you’re the right man for me.”

  “Is that so?” he asked, looking hesitant. “No more reservations about my career or how you and Austin will fit in to my world?”

  She offered her reassurance in the form of a kiss, sensing he needed it as much as she did. “My fears are fading fast. Pretty soon, I think they’ll just be a distant memory.”

  “That’s what I’m countin’ on, baby.”

  ***

  In the still of the night, long after everyone else had gone to bed, Clint stretched out on his bed, feeling like the luckiest man in the world. Natasha had just stepped out of his bathroom in a pale blue negligee that emphasized her best features while making her look sweet and angelic. He’d been waiting for this for a long time, which he assumed was the reason he felt more nervous than he had the night he’d lost his virginity in high school. This moment, this woman, was special, and he never wanted to forget that. Not even for a second.

  “You look gorgeous,” he whispered, coaxing her closer. “I was just thinking about how lucky I am to be here with you. I feel like this night has been a hell of a long time coming.”

  “Me too,” she said softly. Easing down onto the bed beside him, she turned onto her side to face him. “You had to know you weren’t the only one fighting your feelings all these years.”

  Running a hand over her shoulder, he felt her warm skin pebble under his gentle touch. “Now I’m wondering why the hell we tried to fight it.”

  “The timing wasn’t right,” she said, running her hand over his bare chest.

  “But it is now?” He sure as hell hoped so because there was no going back for him—not after tonight, when he had no doubt she would turn his fantasy into the best memory of his life.

  “I think so.” She bit her lip, failing to meet his heated gaze. “I really hope so, Clint. I want this, and you, more than I’ve ever wanted anything or anyone. In fact, it scares me how much I want it all.”

  He pulled her closer and kissed her shoulder as he brushed her hair off her neck. “Tell me exactly what you want, Tash. Don’t be afraid to share your dreams. It’s the only way I can make them come true.” Tonight wasn’t about sex for him, and he wanted her to know that. It was about relating to her on a deeper level.

  She curled up in his arms as she kissed his chest. “Being here with you tonight felt so good, so real. I could imagine what our life together would be like, you know? Doing the normal stuff, like preparing for our kids’ birthday parties.”

  Hearing that she wanted more kids with him, and the unspoken implication that she would share her son with him, meant everything to Clint. Her willingness to trust Clint to be a positive influence in Austin’s life was the greatest gift she could have given him.


  “You think I’m getting carried away, don’t you?” she said.

  The lights were dim, but he could tell she was blushing, making him painfully aware of how uncertain and vulnerable she still felt. He wanted to make her feel secure, to convince her that no other woman had ever touched his heart the way she had. “I love hearing you say those things, baby.” He kissed her slowly, framing his emotional state in that single kiss. “If I don’t always respond right away, it’s only because I’m savoring your words.”

  “Savoring them?” She wrinkled her nose, a small smile teasing her lips. “My words aren’t that poetic.”

  “To me they are.” He got lost in her eyes, thinking about how many times her sparkling baby blues had crept into his thoughts over the years. “You’re saying all the things I’ve always wanted to hear you say. You’re saying you want a life with me, that you could imagine a future with me. As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t get any better than that.”

  “Mmmm.” She moaned softly as his tongue glided down her neck. “It doesn’t get any better than this.”

  He released an appreciative sigh before grinning. “I can think of one thing that would make it better.” Her smile told him she was reading his mind. “Let me show you how much I love you, sweetheart.”

  “I guess that’s the advantage of having a huge house, huh? It feels like we’re miles away from Den and the boys.”

  “Privacy is definitely a prerequisite for what I have in mind. And if it puts your mind at ease, I had this room soundproofed when the house was being built.”

  Natasha’s eyes widened as she reared back. “You’re not serious.”

  Clint couldn’t help but laugh at her shocked expression. “Not for the reason you’re thinking. I like to write music in my room, sometimes at night. Like I said, when I built this house, I was thinking to the future. I figured if I had kids, it’d be nice to be able to work without worrying about waking them.”

  “Smart man.” She raised her eyebrows. “I’m guessing the fact that it just happens to serve another purpose didn’t escape you.”