Going For It (Texas Titans #7) Read online

  Having purpose and passion would go a long way toward helping Rowan rebuild his life, and if Blaise could do anything to help with that, he would. “First step is a physical. If you don’t have a doctor, I can hook you up with mine.” Blaise suspected Rowan’s physical well-being hadn’t been his top priority in a long time, if ever.

  “Yeah, I’ll need his name. I can make the appointment. I guess the sooner, the better.”

  “Once you get a clean bill of health, you can submit the application and get the ball rolling. Once you get your license, we should set up some fights. Six months should be enough time to get you ready.”

  “You think so?” Rowan asked skeptically. “I thought it’d be more like a year.”

  “We’ll do a few charity gigs first, just to get you used to being in the ring before we tackle anything serious.”

  Rowan laughed. “How lucky am I to have you as a mentor?”

  “Pretty damn lucky, and don’t you forget it,” Blaise agreed, smiling. He still loved busting Rowan’s chops—that would never change. “My time is valuable. You waste it, and I’m done with you.”

  Rowan’s smile slipped. “I hear you. I won’t screw this up, I promise.”

  “Good.” Blaise leaned forward, clasping his hands on the desk. “How’re things going with Marla?”

  Rowan scowled. “Not so good since she told me the truth about what she and her husband did to you. I’ve barely spoken to her. Good news is she got a job, so we’ll both be out of your house in a few days.”

  Which meant he wouldn’t have a good reason to stay with Kiara anymore. Maybe he could convince her to stay with him instead. He did have that big gourmet kitchen to lure her in.

  “What’s wrong?” Rowan asked. “I thought you’d be happy about that?”

  “I am.” Blaise nodded. “It’s good that she’s getting her life together, for her sake and the baby’s. But you don’t have to hurry to move out. It’ll take some time to fix up the apartment. You’re welcome to stay until that’s ready.”

  “I appreciate that, but you and Kiara need your privacy. I’d just be in the way.”

  “I wouldn’t have offered unless I meant it.” Blaise leveled Rowan with a look that reinforced his words. “Don’t be too hard on Marla, man. She made a mistake. God knows we’ve all made our fair share.”

  “I guess.” Rowan eyed Blaise warily. “Uh, she mention anything to you about the baby?”

  “Has she gotten the test results?” At the moment, Blaise was more concerned about the potential abnormalities than paternity.

  Looking relieved, Rowan said, “I don’t think so. I just wanted to make sure you knew the deal. I’m not so sure we can trust her yet, and I wanted to make sure she was telling you everything you needed to know.”

  “Thanks, but yeah, she told me.” Blaise appreciated Rowan having his back.

  “Good.” Rowan stood. “Well, I guess I should go hand in my notice. Can’t wait to get started here.”

  “Whenever your current employers can spare you, we’ll start your training,” Blaise said, offering his hand across the desk. “The sooner, the better. I’m anxious to have you on board, Row. It’ll allow me to start focusing on this fight. I’ll have to train night and day to be ready in four months.”

  Rowan shook his brother’s hand. “I can’t believe Kiara is okay with you doing this.”

  “She’s not.” Blaise grinned. “She’s mad as hell, but she loves me enough to see that I have to do this.”

  “You’re lucky to have her,” Rowan said, making his way to the door.

  “You don’t have to tell me that.”

  “Don’t screw it up, Blaise.”

  “Don’t worry. That’s not gonna happen.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Blaise was on his way back to his house two days later because he’d gotten a call from Marla that she had the test results and wanted to share them with him. He thought about calling Kiara for a pep talk, but ultimately decided to face it alone. He didn’t know how he felt about the paternity test. When he’d learned Marla was pregnant, he would have given anything for it to be Morin’s. Now he wasn’t so sure. The idea of becoming a father had grown on him. He knew the situation wasn’t ideal, but he assumed the man upstairs had a way of sorting things out.

  Marla was already waiting for him in his driveway.

  He cut the engine and climbed out of his low-slung sports car. “Hey. Hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long?”

  “No, it’s fine.” She offered a tight smile. “I’m sorry I dragged you away from work, but I thought it would be best to discuss this somewhere private.”

  “Not a problem.” He led her toward his front door and fit the key in the lock before he gestured for her to precede him into the house. He hadn’t seen her since she’d told him what she and Morin had done to him, and he could tell she was nervous about seeing him again. “Do you want to grab a drink first? Maybe a bite to eat?”

  “No, I’m fine, thanks.” She followed him inside. “I’ll be able to take my stuff today. My employer said I can move in whenever I’m ready.”

  “There’s no hurry, unless things aren’t going well with Rowan?” Based on his conversation with Rowan, things had been tense between them since he’d learned the truth. “If my brother’s giving you a hard time, I can talk to him.”

  She shook her head. “He’s been good to me, better than I deserve.”

  Blaise wasn’t ready to assuage her guilt about what she’d done to him or let her off the hook. He knew Morin was to blame, and he intended to see he got what was coming to him, but that didn’t mean Marla’s betrayal didn’t sting. “Let’s go sit down.”

  “Sure.” She followed him into the living room and sat on the edge of the chair while he took the couch.

  “So you got a job as a nanny?”

  “Yes.” She smiled. “I’ll be looking after a boy and a girl, two and four. I’m excited about it, actually. They seem like great kids.”

  “Does the couple know about the situation with—”

  “They know all about Casey. My employer’s a police detective, so I don’t think Casey will do anything stupid.”

  Blaise was relieved to hear she’d be safe. “Good, glad to hear it. About the amnio, did the doctor find any abnormalities?”

  “No.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before glancing at him. “Thankfully, everything looks just fine, but…”

  “But what?”

  She winced. “The baby’s not yours, Blaise.”

  He let the words sink in before lowering his head and clasping his hands in his hair. “Wow. I don’t know why, but I wasn’t expecting you to say that.”

  “Are you disappointed or relieved?”

  “I don’t know how I feel right now.” Yes, he did. He felt numb. He felt as if he’d lost something he’d never really had, which was crazy, since he had no business wanting it in the first place.

  “I’m so sorry I dragged you into all this. I should have waited until I knew for sure whether the baby was yours.”

  “You came here because you had nowhere else to turn,” he reminded her. “I don’t regret taking you in.”

  “Not even knowing what I did?”

  “I can’t deny that’s a tough pill to swallow, but I assume you did what you felt you had to do to keep the peace at home. I know what Morin can be like.”

  “Then why are you getting back in the ring with him?” she asked.

  “Because he didn’t deserve to beat me, not like that.” Blaise didn’t want to discuss his decision with Marla. In fact, he didn’t want to talk at all. He just wanted to be alone to think. “I should be getting back to work.” That was the last place he intended to go, but he needed an excuse to get out of there before the walls closed in on him. “Do you want me to wait around for you to pack your stuff? I can load your car for you.”

  “That won’t be necessary. I just have the one suitcase. I was in such a hurry to get out of that ho
use I didn’t take much.”

  Blaise hadn’t considered how little she had. “If you need—”

  “No, please.” She held up her hand. “I’m already so emotional. If you offer to do one more nice thing for me, I swear I’ll cry.”

  “Well, I guess I’ll head out then. Just slip the key through the slot in the door when you’re done.” He didn’t know what to do. A handshake seemed too formal, a hug too intimate. “Good luck, Marla.”

  He’d almost made it to the door when she said, “I wish it had turned out differently. I wish the baby had been yours. I know you’d have been an amazing dad.”

  He didn’t respond. He walked through the door and closed it with a soft click before he leaned against it. Taking a deep breath, he looked at the cloudless sky as her words echoed through his head… You’d have been an amazing dad.

  ***

  Kiara was surprised to find Blaise sitting on her sofa in the dark, clutching a pillow, when she got home from work. “Hey.” She turned on a table lamp when he didn’t move or respond to her greeting. She sat on the edge of the cushion beside him. “What’s wrong?”

  He swallowed repeatedly, staring straight ahead. “I’m not the father. Marla’s baby isn’t mine.”

  “Oh.” She could tell the news had hit him hard, and she didn’t know how to feel about that. She was selfishly grateful. It was one less problem for them to deal with. A thought occurred to her. “Did the doctor find a problem with the baby?”

  “No, everything looks good.”

  “Oh, that’s good.” So the result of the paternity test was the sole reason for his melancholy. “Um, would you like a drink? I sure could use one.” She didn’t know what she was supposed to say. I’m sorry you’re not the father of your ex-girlfriend’s baby. Better luck next time?

  He reached for her hand when she moved to get up. “Don’t go. Please. Just stay here with me.”

  “Okay.” She sat back beside him, mimicking his position with her feet on the ottoman and a pillow tucked against her middle. They were silent for a long time. Finally, Kiara tipped her head back and closed her eyes, waiting for him to explain how he was feeling.

  “I know it’s for the best,” he said, clearing his throat. “I never wanted to be tied to Marla for the rest of my life.”

  Really? You could’ve fooled me. “I guess it’s true what they say. Everything happens for a reason, right?”

  “This did happen for a reason.” He linked her hand with his. “It made me realize that I want to be a father.”

  Kiara looked at him out of the corner of her eye, trying to gauge whether or not his declaration was just an emotional reaction to Marla’s news.

  “Sooner rather than later.”

  “Oh.” She seemed to be saying that a lot, mainly because he was acting so strange. She questioned what he was thinking and feeling and what it meant for their relationship.

  “That’s all you can say?” He shifted to face her. “Come on, Ki, you’ve got to give me more than that.”

  “I don’t know what you want me to say.” Her voice sounded shaky, a reflection of the way she felt inside. “This is kind of a surprise.”

  “Why? You know I love you, that I want to be with you.”

  “Uh yeah, but that’s a far cry from marriage and babies. We’re still in the early stages of this relationship, still getting to know each other.”

  He placed her hand on his chest. “I already feel like you know me better than any other woman I’ve ever been with. You know what’s in my heart. That’s all that really matters, isn’t it? We can figure the rest out as we go along.”

  “I thought that’s what we were doing,” she said, suddenly uncomfortable with the direction their conversation was taking. Just because he’d received some upsetting news that made him re-evaluate his life didn’t mean she was willing to impulsively make life-altering decisions.

  “Marry me.”

  “What?” She drew her hand away from his chest and shifted back against the armrest. “What are you talking about? We can’t get married. We’ve only been dating for a few months.”

  “So what? I know how I feel about you. You know how you feel about me. What else is there?”

  “This is crazy,” she said, feeling frantic. “You don’t propose to someone because you’re sad or lonely.”

  “Is that why you think I asked you to marry me?”

  “You didn’t exactly ask me,” she reminded him, crossing her arms.

  “You’re right.” He winced. “A girl like you probably expects some romantic proposal with a big rock and—”

  “No.” She covered his mouth with her finger, not wanting to hear any more. “What I expect is time. Time to make sure this is right, that we’re both—”

  He shook his head. “Wait a minute, are you trying to tell me you’re still having doubts about us? If this is because of the fight with Morin—”

  “It’s not.” She couldn’t deny she was still terrified about what would happen when he stepped in the ring, but that wasn’t the reason she was asking for more time. “When I get married, it’s going to be for keeps, Blaise.”

  “Of course,” he said, looking insulted. “I feel the same way. How could you even question that?”

  This was quickly spiralling out of control, and the last thing Kiara wanted was to fight with him. She sighed, reaching for his hand. “I’m not questioning you. I’m crazy about you. I really could imagine spending my life with you, but I need more time to be sure.”

  “Because you’ve put your trust in the wrong guys before?”

  Kiara knew her past may be coloring her decision, but only because she was more pragmatic now than she’d been then. “Something like that.”

  His expression was grave. “When are you going to realize I’m not like them? I’m not going to screw you over. I just want to love you. Why can’t you let me do that?”

  “I have been,” she said, the knot of fear tightening in her belly. She didn’t want to lose Blaise, but she wouldn’t be coerced into making a decision she wasn’t ready for.

  “Only on your terms. When I get too close, you manage to push me away.”

  “That’s not true!” Was it? She hated that he was making her question everything. “You’re just upset because you were getting used to the idea of having a son, so now you’re trying to replace the void with something else.” As soon as Kiara said it, she wanted to take it back. “I’m sorry, I—”

  “I’ve got to go.”

  “Don’t,” she said, reaching for his hand. “Stay. Let’s talk about this.”

  “We will. Just not now. I’ve got a plane to catch.”

  “What are you talking about?” She jumped up to follow him to the door. “Where are you going? When will you be back?”

  “I’m goin’ home. I want to see Charlie, get his take on the fight.” He took his keys out of the pocket of his jeans and clutched them in his fist. “Think I’ll see my folks too. It’s time to clear the air.”

  “When will you be back?” She didn’t want him to leave, not when things between them felt so tenuous.

  “I shouldn’t be gone more than a few days.” He touched her cheek. “I was going to ask you to come with me, but that’s probably not a good idea.”

  “Why not?” She felt like crying, but it wouldn’t help. If anything, it would only make both of them feel worse.

  “Maybe you’re right. Maybe we do need a little more time to sort things out. You probably know best. You’re a hell of a lot smarter than I am.”

  Kiara grabbed his shirt in her fists and pulled him closer. “Don’t say that. Sometimes I think I’m pretty damn clueless, like right now. I think with my head. Maybe I need to start thinking with my heart more.”

  He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close. “Nah, it’s best if one of us keeps a level head. I’ve been letting my heart lead lately, and I’m not sure that’s such a good thing.”

  She tightened her grip on his sho
ulders, fearing she may never get to hold him again. “Maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe you’re right about—”

  “Sssh.” He silenced her with a soft kiss. “There can’t be any maybes when you’re talkin’ marriage. It’s gotta be a sure thing. If you’re not sure, you’re not sure, and that’s okay.”

  He said it was okay, but she knew it wasn’t. He was hurt, wrecked even, and she didn’t know what to say to make things right. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?”

  “I think I should go it alone this time.”

  “Will you take me with you next time?” What she really wanted was reassurance she would still be in his life next time.

  His mouth tilted up at one corner, but the sparkle never reached his eyes. “If that’s what you want.”

  “Blaise,” she whispered, “I love you. Please don’t doubt that.”

  “I love you too, Ki. So damn much.”

  ***

  Blaise was starting to regret his decision to head out before he got a good night’s sleep. He was tired and cranky after replaying his conversation with Kiara a hundred times on the three-hour flight. He hadn’t intended to suggest marriage. It just came out. It felt right, and he’d thought she was feeling it too. Realizing how wrong he was was a slap in the face. Her expression, her incredulity, when he uttered those two little words told him how off base he was.

  Since he didn’t intend to stay in Virginia long, he’d packed a small bag that he could carry on so he didn’t have to check his luggage. He was grateful he’d had the foresight to make one smart decision as he walked through the airport.

  He hopped into the first available cab at the curb, surprised to find an attractive redhead behind the wheel. “Hey.”

  “Hey, yourself.” She winked at him in the rearview mirror. “Where to, handsome?”

  Oh God, she was flirting with him. He was too tired to deal with that. Why couldn’t he have gotten some crotchety old man who didn’t speak English? “Good question. I didn’t even think to book a hotel.” He sighed, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. “Just let me call the Jefferson, see if they have any rooms.”