Breathless Read online

  “Me,” Nellie said, coming up behind Eli. She laughed and stumbled backward when Jasmine threw herself into her arms. “She’s a hot mess, isn’t she, E?”

  Aiden laughed. “Something tells me she’s gonna be paying for it tomorrow. Now that I know she’s in good hands, Ry and I are gonna head home. Y’all have a good night.” He smiled when Jasmine blew him a kiss. “Hope you feel better tomorrow, sugar.”

  Eli had been there enough times to know she’d feel like death. “Thanks for calling me, coach. I’ll see you later.”

  “Oh, I love this song,” Jasmine said, leaning back a little too far.

  Eli grabbed her arms to steady her when she bumped into another girl . “Sorry,” he mouthed to the petite brunette.

  She grinned and winked at him. “No problem, handsome.”

  “Let’s get her out of here,” Eli whispered to Nellie.

  “I’m not leaving until you dance with me,” Jasmine said, folding her arms.

  It was a Lady A song about first dances and lost love. Eli would rather have a root canal than hold his first love while country crooners did their worst to him, but he knew Jamie wouldn’t leave until she got her way. Since he didn’t feel like making a scene, he said, “Fine, one song. Then we’re leaving. Agreed?”

  Nellie nudged Eli’s shoulder. “I’ll go settle our bill.”

  “Don’t bother, I’ve got it,” Eli said, taking Jamie in his arms.

  “You just enjoy the dance. I’ve got this one.”

  Jamie had already settled her head on Eli’s shoulder, but she told Nellie, “Hey, tonight was s’posed to be my treat.”

  “You can treat me next time,” Nellie said and headed off to find the waitress.

  “She’s the best,” Jasmine muttered. “So are you. The best.”

  Eli would give anything to be home in bed and away from the temptation. He’d almost forgotten how small she was without five-inch heels and how perfectly her body fit his. As though they were made for each other. It had always felt that way. As if every other woman he’d been with was a poor substitute for Jamie.

  “I’m glad you came,” she said, tucking her head under his chin. “I’ve missed you.”

  He’d been trying to keep his distance so he could give Ava’s service a chance, but it hadn’t been easy. He missed Jamie like crazy. “Why’d ya get drunk tonight, baby?” He knew she wasn’t the type to drink for no reason.

  “No reason. I just felt like cuttin’ loose for a change.”

  He’d seen Ava at her office earlier. She was wearing a huge diamond on her left hand, and Eli suspected that might have something to do with Jamie’s state. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

  She sighed. “I’m sad. And lonely.”

  Her admission sliced him. Why couldn’t she see it didn’t have to be that way? “Why’s that, Jamie?”

  She tipped her head back to look at him. “Why do you still call me that? You know damn well I prefer Jasmine.”

  He knew she was trying to change the subject. Jimmy’s wasn’t the place for a heavy conversation, so he let her. “You’ll always be Jamie to me. Jasmine was the girl you were trying to be when you didn’t like yourself anymore.”

  He knew she still felt guilty for cheating on her fiancé. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t feel bad about something that had felt so good. In his heart, Jamie would always belong to him. The Brent Armstrongs in her life were just detours. But he couldn’t continue to torment himself by living with a fantasy that would never become reality unless she saw things his way. He’d watched Jamie fooling herself into believing she and Brent would find their way back to each other. Her stubbornness had resulted in heartbreak, and he refused to make the same mistake.

  She sighed before settling against his chest. “You know me too well, Rea. You’ve seen me at my worst. I don’t know why you still talk to me. If you were smart, you would have cut me loose a long time ago.”

  “You forget, I’ve also seen you at your best,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “And that’s most of the time.”

  Jamie was a perfectionist, and she often judged herself too harshly. In school, she’d worked hard to be the best student. In her career, she worked tirelessly to be the best architect. For a brief moment in time, when his life seemed perfect, she’d worked hard to be the best girlfriend. Jamie didn’t seem to realize she was already perfect.

  He heard her sniffle, and he slid his hand into her hair to tilt her head back. “Hey, why’re you crying, baby?”

  “I’m sorry.” She tried to turn her head away, but he wouldn’t let her. “I just love you so much. I know I don’t tell you that often enough, but it’s true.”

  If only she could love him the way he needed her to. “I love you too, but that’s no reason to cry.” He brushed her tears away. “Come on now, no more tears.”

  “I don’t want to lose you, E.”

  Eli felt the same way. He’d had a full life--a career he loved, dates every other night, lots of friends, and a great family--but without her, there had been a gaping hole nothing could fill. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Yes, you are. You’re gonna meet someone who’s perfect for you. You really think she’s gonna want you to be best friends with your crazy ex-girlfriend?”

  Eli had already tried putting some distance between them. Being around her, given the way he felt, wasn’t good for him, but he couldn’t imagine cutting her out of his life completely. “You have nothing to worry about, honey. I’ll always be there for you.”

  “You say that now, but you don’t mean it.” She looked sweet and vulnerable as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. “You think you do. But you can’t put your relationship with me before the woman you plan to marry. That wouldn’t be fair.”

  “We’ll work it out.” He didn’t want to think about choosing, especially when there wasn’t really a choice to make. Jamie still owned every little piece of his heart, and he didn’t know to share himself with anyone else, no matter how perfect they may seem.

  “Where were you tonight?” she asked.

  “I had a date.” He’d always been honest with her about his dates, hoping she would confide in him as well. She hadn’t dated much, and he selfishly preferred it that way. He wanted them to be honest with each other, but he didn’t really want to hear about her spending time with other men.

  “What was she like?”

  “She’s nice.” Jamie seemed to be waiting for more, so he said, “Pretty.”

  “That goes without saying. She wasn’t another puck bunny, was she?”

  He laughed. “No, definitely not. She’s a lawyer.”

  She frowned. “How’d you meet her?”

  “Ava introduced us. I asked her to help me find someone. She did. No big deal.”

  Jamie stepped out of his arms, looking stunned. “Let me get this straight… Ava’s trying to help you find a wife?”

  He didn’t expect that reaction and wondered whether she was just being overly emotional because of the alcohol. “Uh, if things work out… I guess.”

  Her face crumpled. “It wasn’t enough she took Brent? She has to take you away from me too?” She turned away from Eli and weaved through the crowed until she found Nellie at the bar. They exchanged a few words before Nellie pulled Jamie into her arms.

  What the hell was that about?

  Chapter Two

  Jamie felt marginally better by the time they dropped Nellie off at her apartment. She still couldn’t believe Eli was actively looking for a wife. She knew he would meet someone eventually; she’d just expected to have more time to prepare. She didn’t expect the news to hit her so hard. She stole a glance at Eli. He was so handsome. It was no wonder women made fools of themselves trying to capture his attention. “So do you like her?” she asked.

  “Who?” He turned down the radio so he could focus on her.

  He was always so attentive. Would she ever find another man who listened to her the way he did
? “The woman Ava set you up with… do you like her?”

  “Yeah, I like her.”

  She twisted her purse strap between her fingers. “You think you’ll see her again?” For the first time in as long as she could remember, Eli was looking for a serious relationship, and that scared her. She knew she was selfish, but she didn’t want to lose him.

  “That’s the plan.”

  “Oh.” She looked out the window, mortified that he might see her cry again. She was never so emotional when she was sober. She had been getting drunk to forget about losing Brent. She never expected to be shedding tears over losing Eli instead. She propped her elbow on the door and covered her mouth. “I’m so stupid.”

  “Don’t say that, baby. You’re one of the smartest women I’ve ever met.”

  She may have a high I.Q., but she was clueless when it came to men. “Here I am crying my eyes out over a guy who hasn’t loved me in years, if he ever did at all.”

  “You needed to get it out of your system.” He smiled. “Do you feel better, beautiful?”

  No, she felt worse. She’d finally realized Brent had never been hers to lose, but what about Eli? How would she cope when she eventually lost him? She was so confused by her sudden possessiveness.

  Eli’s cell phone rang, and he smiled when the name “Belinda” appeared on the screen on his console. “You don’t mind if I take this, do you?”

  “No, go ahead.” She did mind. She didn’t want to listen to him flirting with another woman, but it was his car and he clearly wanted to take the call.

  “It won’t take long,” he said. “Hey, beautiful, I was gonna call you when I got home.”

  Jasmine covered her mouth with her hand. She didn’t know if the alcohol or the way Eli talked to the woman on the phone was making her nauseous, but she suspected it was the latter.

  “I missed you.” Belinda laughed. “God, that’s just sad, isn’t it? I’m supposed to be playing hard to get. Isn’t that how these things work? I don’t know anymore. I’m so out of practice since my divorce.”

  Eli chuckled. “You don’t have to play games with me, sugar. You can say whatever’s on your mind. Always.”

  If they hadn’t been barreling down the Interstate, Jasmine would have considered jumping out of the car. She was stuck there listening to another woman seduce her… what? Her friend? Ex-boyfriend? Former lover? Eli had been all those things and so much more.

  Belinda said, “I just wanted to let you know I cleared my schedule tomorrow. I’d love to go to your parents’ barbeque.”

  Jasmine couldn’t believe her ears. The Rea family was like her second family, and he was sharing them with a total stranger. Would Belinda take her place? Would she play dolls with his niece and share recipes with his mom? To her knowledge, Eli had never taken a woman home to meet his family. What did it mean? Was he ready for a commitment?

  “That’s great.” He cast a quick look at Jasmine. “Hey, I’m just dropping my friend off at home. Can I call you when I get in so we can arrange the details?”

  “Sure, I’ll wait up.”

  “Talk to you soon.”

  Jasmine didn’t want to question him about his relationship, but the curiosity was eating her alive. “How many times have you been out with her?”

  “A few.”

  “Why haven’t you mentioned her?” Jasmine knew she was coming off as petty and jealous, but she couldn’t help herself.

  “I don’t know. Like you said, we haven’t seen that much of each other lately.”

  Jasmine realized with sickening certainty that Eli had been keeping his distance on purpose. “Is that because of her?”

  Eli rounded the corner to Jasmine’s condo. Her building was just down the street from his luxury townhouse. He didn’t say anything until he eased up to the curb at the front door. “I guess, maybe. It’s tough to think about starting a new relationship when you’re living in the past.”

  Jasmine reached for the door handle. Her heart was breaking, but she couldn’t let Eli see that. He jumped out of the vehicle and rounded the front. She was already standing on the curb, closing the door, when he approached.

  She couldn’t look at him. If she did, she might burst into tears all over again. “Thanks for the ride home. I’m sorry I pulled you away from your date.”

  “No worries,” he said, reaching for her hand. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

  “Yeah, sure.” She tried to pull her hand from his grasp, but he wouldn’t let go. “You should get home. Belinda’s expecting your call.” She suddenly realized how Eli must have felt watching her fall in love with Brent. If he felt even a fraction of what she felt, it must have been torture for him.

  “She can wait,” he whispered. He held the side of her face. “You know you can tell me if something’s bothering you, right?”

  Could she? Could she tell him watching him fall in love with someone else was killing her? No. That wouldn’t be fair. If Belinda was the right one for him, Jasmine had to let him go. “It’s nothing.” She pressed a hand to her head when she stepped back. “Just a little headache, that’s all.” And a huge heartache.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Of course.”

  “I’ll call and check in on you tomorrow, okay?”

  “Don’t bother.” She smiled. “It’s my day off. I may not even get out of bed. You go and have fun with your family… and Belinda. Give your parents my love.”

  “I will.” He kissed her forehead. “You sure you don’t want me to walk you up?”

  “No.” She pointed to the security guard posted in the lobby. “John’s sitting right there. I’ll be fine.”

  “Okay,” he said, waving at John.

  Jasmine realized there wasn’t a single person in her life who didn’t know and love Eli. Her family, friends, and business associates all asked about him because Eli was just that kind of guy. Personable, fun… unforgettable.

  ***

  As Eli drove his car into the garage, it took everything in him not to go back and demand Jamie tell him what she was thinking and how she was feeling. He knew her too well to believe her excuses. She wasn’t tired, and she didn’t have a headache. Like she’d said, she was lonely. But did that mean her feelings toward him had changed? Was she finally ready to take another chance on him? They risked a lot if a relationship didn’t work out, but they’d made the transition from boyfriend/girlfriend to friends once. They could do it again, if it came to that.

  But what if it didn’t? What if they were finally mature enough and experienced enough to realize they belonged together? Was she so despondent about Belinda because she felt it might be too late for them?

  Eli slammed his palm into the steering wheel. He had too many questions. What he needed was answers, but it wasn’t the right time to pump her for information. She’d had too much to drink. She was emotional and wasn’t thinking clearly. His questions would have to wait. He ran into the house and locked the door, calling Belinda as he ran up the stairs. He was tired. He wanted to slip into bed and escape his thoughts for a while, but he’d promised to call Belinda and Eli was a man of his word.

  Belinda picked up after the first ring. “I was beginning to think you’d forgotten about me.”

  Going from talking to Jamie to talking to Belinda felt like stepping off the plane after a tropical vacation and facing a harsh blast of winter. Even when Jamie was sad and needed a shoulder to cry on, there was no one he’d rather be with. He sank down on the end of his bed before toeing his shoes off. “Sorry that took so long. I know it’s late.”

  “I didn’t mind waiting up.” She paused before asking, “How’s your friend?”

  “She’s okay. She just had a bit too much to drink.”

  “She must be pretty important to you if you were willing to drop everything and run to her rescue.”

  He hadn’t explained his relationship with Jamie because he suspected Belinda wouldn’t understand, but it was time. She needed to know the tru
th before they took their relationship any further. “Jamie’s been a part of my life since high school.”

  “I see.”

  He knew she was waiting for him to explain. “We dated back in high school, but we’ve just been friends ever since.” He didn’t tell her about their one night together while Jamie was still with Brent. That was private, and he didn’t know Belinda well enough to trust her with his secrets. Ironically, he only knew one person that well: Jamie.

  “Are you sure about that?”

  Eli had to be honest. She had every right to know what she was getting herself into. “I still love her. I probably always will, but she just wants to be friends, and I’m okay with that.”

  “Are you sure?” She sighed. “Look, Eli, I know all about being in love with your ex. I still have feelings for my ex, but I’m ready to move on. Can you say the same?”

  Could he? He chuckled to lighten the mood. “I just told you Jamie and I haven’t dated since high school. Are you suggesting I’ve been saving myself for her?”

  “I don’t know. Have you?”

  Eli had intended it as a joke, but she was taking him seriously. Rightly so. “I’ve been with plenty of women since Jamie and I were a couple.”

  “There’s a difference between giving your heart to someone and having sex with them.”

  As if he didn’t know that. Eli was too exhausted, emotionally and physically, to have that conversation. “Can we talk about this tomorrow on the way to my parents’ place? That’s assuming you still want to come.”

  “I still want to come. She may have been stupid enough to give up on you without a fight, but I think you’re worth the effort.”

  Eli’s first impulse was always to defend Jamie, but he knew he had to let it go. “I’ll text you in the morning to let you know what time I’ll pick you up.” Maybe after a good night’s sleep, his life would make sense again.