Gabe (Steele Brothers #6) Page 2

  “If I wasn’t driving to my parents place in a bit, I just might take you up on that.” Lately, I’d relied on journaling, yoga, and meditation to release my pent-up frustration, but sometimes, between Gabe and Jason, only a drink and a bitchfest with a girlfriend could take the edge off.

  “The girls are watching the last few minutes of their show,” Liz said, hooking her arm through mine as she led me toward the kitchen. “That gives you a few minutes to tell me what’s got you so bent out of shape.”

  Liz was a yoga instructor at a fitness facility down the street, and the one who’d introduced me to this path of self-discovery I’d found myself on since my separation, so I was almost embarrassed to admit to her that I found myself coming apart at the seams. Again.

  “Same old, same old,” I said, sinking into one of the lovingly refinished chairs at her vintage table. “Jason failing to live up to his responsibilities and Gabe being a martyr.”

  Liz turned from seeping our favorite herbal tea, giving me a sympathetic smile. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but Gabe’s high moral code is the very reason you fell for him in the first place. He’s everything Jason isn’t: honest, reliable, trustworthy, considerate… Need I go on?”

  I sighed when she sat down beside me, depositing two of her delicate, hand-painted cups and saucers between us. “No, you’re right.” I pulled my long hair off my face, propping my elbow on the table. “I wouldn’t change Gabe for anything. But what can I do to make him realize I’m ready to move on?”

  “Only one way I can think of,” Liz said, adding a drop of honey to her tea. “Start dating again.”

  “Ugh.” I saw no point in dating while the man I was most attracted lived right next door. “I don’t have time to date.”

  “But you do have time for Gabe?” she asked, smiling. “How does that work?”

  “It’s different,” I argued. “He lives right next door. We see each other all the time.”

  “And what better way to convince him your marriage is over than to let him see you with a new man? If ever he was going to step up, that would surely motivate him.”

  “I don’t know…” Even during college I hadn’t been into the dating scene, which probably explained why I’d married the first man who asked. “It seems like such a hassle. Besides, where would I meet someone?”

  “The owner of the fitness studio where I work asked about you the last time you were in.”

  “It wouldn’t be right,” I said, shaking my head. “I couldn’t lead someone on, or worse, use them just to make Gabe jealous.”

  “Didn’t you tell me just last week you needed to get out more?”

  “Well yeah, but—”

  “Who says you can’t develop friendships with guys, Kendra?”

  I took a sip of my tea, wondering if she had a valid point. “You really think your boss would be interested in going out with me if he knew I was only interested in him as a friend?”

  “Absolutely,” Liz said, looking convinced. “He told me yesterday that he’d love to have someone to go out with, no pressure, just someone to have fun with.”

  “What I wouldn’t give for a little more fun in my life.” I loved every moment I spent with my daughter. I enjoyed my job and was grateful for my friends and family, but reckless abandon had been in short supply lately.

  “Then let me set it up,” Liz said, looking excited at the prospect. “I promise you won’t be disappointed. Mike’s a great guy. You’re going to love him.”

  “I’d settle for liking him.” I definitely wasn’t looking for love, just a little relaxation therapy between the sheets with a sexy fire chief. At least for now…

  ***

  Char was watching her grandfather work in his art studio, which gave me some much-needed alone time with my mom after dinner. I wanted to know whether she thought it was a mistake for me to start dating again, given how vulnerable my daughter was.

  “You were kind of quiet over dinner,” my mother said, setting the left-over cookies she’d made in a plastic container for us to take home. “Anything wrong?”

  “I just wish Jason would sign the divorce papers. I’m tired of living in limbo.” And tired of complaining to the people who’d been kind enough to support me. “I’m ready to move on with my life.”

  “When you say you’re ready to move on,” my mother said, turning to face me, “does that mean you’re looking for another relationship?”

  My mother had met Gabe several times when she’d visited the house, but I’d never been upfront with her about my attraction to him. I didn’t want her to worry that I was fixating on Gabe to deal Jason’s betrayal, which I suspected Gabe believed.

  “I’m looking for a little fun,” I said, hesitantly. “Nothing too serious.”

  “Do you have anyone special in mind?” she asked, setting the container on the table, where I wouldn’t forget it. Not that Char would let me. Her nana’s peanut butter chocolate chip cookies were her favorite.

  “Why do you ask?” I asked, peeling back the plastic lid and snagging another cookie. That would cost me an extra twenty minutes on the treadmill tomorrow, but my mother’s cookies were so worth it.

  “Honey, I’ve seen the way you look at Gabe. It’s obvious you have feelings for him.” She smiled when I looked up, surprised at her insight. “It may not be obvious to everyone, but I’ve only seen you look at one other man that way.”

  “Gabe is Jason’s boss, you know,” I said, biting into the cookie with a sigh.

  “I know, you told me when you introduced us.”

  “That complicates things.”

  Why couldn’t Gabe have been a perfect stranger when I’d moved in? Not that I thought that would have made a difference. His morals still would have prevented him from hooking up with a single mom whose ex was hanging around, trying to put his marriage back together, whether Gabe considered the man in question a friend or not.

  “Gabe and Jason are friends,” I said. “Not close friends,” I amended. “But they’ve known each other a long time. They go out for beers now and then.”

  “And Gabe is having a hard time believing your marriage is over?” my mother asked, helping herself to another cookie as she passed me a paper napkin.

  “Can you blame him? I’ve been living next door to him for a while now and Jason and I are no closer to making it official than we were when I moved in.” I debated taking another cookie, but wiped the crumbs from my fingers instead. “How can I expect him to believe me when I tell him it’s over if I can’t prove it?”

  “Has he made you feel like he wants a signed divorce decree before you take your friendship to the next level?”

  I sank back in my chair, looking around the same warm, spacious kitchen where I’d learned to bake cookies by watching my mother. I’d had a wonderful childhood: love, support, stability, and more than anything I wanted the same for Char, but I’d chosen the wrong man and now we were both paying the price.

  “Gabe said he likes me,” I said, crossing my arms. “I know he’s attracted to me, but honestly, I still don’t know if he’d be willing to go out with me even if I were single.”

  “Then maybe you’re barking up the wrong tree?” my mother suggested gently. “You can’t make a man want you, Kendra. Nor should you have to.”

  In spite of Jason’s indiscretions, I didn’t suffer from low self-esteem or blame myself for not being woman enough to satisfy him. I knew the problem was his, not mine. “Mom, you know I’d never chase after a man who didn’t want me. It’s not like that with Gabe. We get along great. He’s wonderful with Char and—”

  “Maybe you’re not ready for another relationship just yet,” she cut in. “Could be you need to give yourself a little more time to think things through.”

  Since I had been the one to inadvertently ask for advice, I couldn’t be upset that my mother wasn’t telling me what I wanted to hear. It was her job to play the devil’s advocate and she’d always taken that role seriously, encou
raging me to look at both sides of the coin before making an important decision.

  “It’s not that I’m actively looking for someone to share my life with,” I said, fixating on the new café curtains my mother had made for the window above the sink, overlooking the big oak tree I used to love climbing with all the neighborhood kids. “It would be nice if I found someone, but I don’t need a man. I just need my daughter.”

  “I know you like to think you don’t need anyone,” my mother said hesitantly, obviously choosing her words carefully. “But I think everyone needs someone.”

  “I have plenty of people who care about me. You, Dad, good friends—”

  “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, Kendra. But you’ve always been so independent.” She smiled. “As a little girl you’d play by yourself for hours.”

  “I don’t see what this has to do with…”

  Raising her hand, my mother said, “Just let me finish. Is it possible that you may have made Jason feel as though you didn’t need him?”

  I gaped at her, unable to believe what I was hearing. “Are you saying I’m responsible for what happened?” I asked, flattening my palm against my chest. “That it’s my fault that my husband cheated on me?”

  “No, I’m not saying that at all,” my mother said, looking alarmed as she leaned forward to clasp my free hand. We rarely fought, but when we did, we both walked away feeling like we’d been kicked in the gut. “I’m just suggesting that maybe you need to evaluate what you want out of a relationship before you think about starting another one.”

  I shook my head, prepared to remind her that I’d done a lot of self-exploration over the past year and a half and I was clear about what I wanted in a life partner, should the right one come along.

  “I’m not too proud to admit that I need your father,” she said, looking me in the eye. “And I don’t think that makes me weak or needy because I know he needs me just as much. Would I survive if I lost him tomorrow? Yes. But I know my life would never be the same again. There would always be a void without him.”

  Just the thought of losing my father had me swallowing tears. He’d been the one and only man I’d always been able to count on and I couldn’t imagine my life without him. I needed him. That’s when I realized my mother was right. I’d never needed Jason the way I needed my family.

  “You think a man needs to feel needed?” I asked, mulling over her claim. “That without that assurance he starts to feel inconsequential?”

  “How would you feel?” she asked. “If you were married to the love of your life and you knew, at any moment, they could walk out the door and be just fine without you?”

  “I guess I’d feel like crap,” I admitted, thinking about the way I must have made Jason feel during our marriage. “But that doesn’t excuse what he did. If he felt that way, he should have talked to me about it. Maybe we could have gone into counselling before he did something that I couldn’t forgive.”

  “People forgive their spouse’s infidelity every day,” my mother reminded me. “I’m not saying it’s right or that’s how I would respond—”

  “How would you react if Dad cheated on you?” I’d never asked her that question before. I’d always assumed she would have done what I did, walk away, but now I wasn’t so sure.

  “I guess it would depend on the circumstances.”

  I’d made up my mind about infidelity long before Jason betrayed me. For me, it was a deal breaker. No questions asked. “I can forgive him,” I said, knowing I had to. For my sake, for our daughter’s sake, not for his. “But that doesn’t mean I want him back. I don’t.”

  “And that’s fine, Kendra. That’s your decision to make. I’m just suggesting that you think about why you need these walls up to protect you?”

  “Isn’t it obvious?” I asked, unable to believe she could even voice that question in light of my experience with marriage. “You can’t trust anyone implicitly, Mom. You have to keep your guard up… just in case.”

  She stood, collecting our cups. “Then I’m sorry to say you have no business getting involved with anyone right now, not with that attitude. It wouldn’t be fair to you or them.”

  Chapter Three

  Gabe

  “What’s got you in such a mood tonight?” my brother Seb asked, kicking me under the table.

  Now that all of my brothers were either married or soon-to-be married, we tried to get together for beers a couple of times a month, just to catch up, since lazy Sunday afternoons watching the game were few and far between now.

  “I’m not in a mood,” I lied.

  Seeing Kendra get picked up by her date while her parents came over to watch her daughter was responsible for my foul mood, but I wasn’t about to tell my brothers that. They all knew and liked Kendra, since she was friends with my sister-in-law Macy, and thought I was crazy not to ask her out.

  “Liar,” Kane said, smirking. “I bet it’s got something to do with your next-door neighbor.”

  So much for keeping it under wraps. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” I said, tipping my longneck back while Kane nursed a soda, since the police force had him on call.

  “What’s his mood got to do with Kendra?” Seb asked, leaning forward.

  I rolled my eyes, thinking my brothers had turned into a bunch of gossip-mongers since they found women. It used to be we could talk for hours about sports, cars, and work without the subject of the opposite sex ever coming up. Now that they’d all found their better half, they were conspiring to help me find someone, not that I’d ever indicated I was interested in getting tied down.

  “She told Macy she’s got a hot date tonight,” Kane said, observing me with his tongue firmly planted in his cheek.

  “Really?” Ryker asked, his gaze sliding to me. “What did I tell you, dumbass? I knew if you waited too long some other lucky bastard would snatch her up. Women like Kendra don’t stay single for long.”

  My gut clenched as I imagined her out on a date with someone else. Even though we’d never so much as kissed, I’d thought about it so many times it felt as though we had. And I didn’t want to think about someone else kissing her, especially not the muscle-bound jerk in the shiny red Corvette who’d picked her up.

  “And you’ll never guess who she’s going out with,” Kane said to Ryker. “Mike Jefferson.”

  Ryker gaped, first at him, then at me. “Are you serious?” he asked Kane.

  “Who the hell is that?” I demanded, trying to place the name.

  “His kids are friends with mine,” Ryker offered, shaking his head as he reached for his beer. “He owns the gym Kane, Mac, and I go to.”

  Since I worked out at home or at the fire station, I didn’t own a gym membership, but now that Ryker mentioned it, I remembered him telling me his friend Mike divorced a few years ago and had been interested in Mac during their trial separation.

  “So what?” I asked, scowling. “This guy preys on vulnerable women who are separated from their husbands?”

  “Nah,” Ryker said, smiling. “Mike’s not like that. I’ll admit we weren’t on the best of terms when he was sniffing around Mac, but he’s one of the good guys. I’ve known him for years. Kendra’s in good hands with him.”

  That didn’t make me feel better. In fact, it made me feel worse. “He’s got to be your age,” I said, glaring at Ryker. “That would make him too old for Kendra.”

  I was ten years younger than Ryker, and Kendra was a couple of years younger than me. What would a woman in her late twenties have in common with a guy in his early forties? Then I thought of Kane and Macy. Their age difference didn’t seem to be an issue.

  “Maybe she has a thing for older guys,” Nex suggested, grinning.

  My brothers loved messing with me, and since I had so few weaknesses, when they found one, they exploited it.

  “It doesn’t matter anyway,” I said, hoping to put an end to this asinine conversation. “She’s still a married woman and Jason has n
o intention of signing those divorce papers any time soon.”

  I tried to feign disinterest whenever Jason talked to me about Kendra, but I failed miserably, hanging on his every word, often firing questions at him about when, how, and why his marriage fell apart and what he planned to do to make up for his indiscretions.

  If I thought of Kendra as someone else’s wife, I was able to resist the urge to act on the attraction that had been building between us ever since she moved in next door. But seeing her going out on a date tonight made me realize that maybe my brothers were right: I was an idiot for dragging my feet. If she was moving on, why couldn’t it be with me?

  Because Jason is your friend and your employee, my conscience reminded me. Unlike Mike Jefferson, who didn’t know Kendra’s ex and the father of her child from Adam.

  “He can’t hold out forever,” Kane argued. “Besides, if you were really his friend, you’d convince him it would be in his best interest to let her go. She doesn’t love him anymore. Living in limbo like this isn’t good for any of them, especially their daughter.”

  “It’s none of my business,” I said, raising my finger in a circular motion to the waitress, indicating the table was ready for another round of drinks. “He’ll divorce her when he’s ready.” I shrugged. “Or he won’t. Either way, it’s none of my concern.”

  “So you don’t care that she’s out with Mike tonight?” Ryker asked, grinning.

  “Why would I care? She’s free to do whatever she wants. If anyone should care, it’s Jason. He’s her husband.”

  Nex frowned at me. “Why do you always do that? Remind us that she’s still married to that loser?”

  “He’s not a loser,” I said, feeling compelled to defend my friend. “He made a stupid mistake. Does that mean he should lose his family because of it?”

  “If Mac cheated on me, I think that would be a deal breaker for me,” Ryker said, tipping back the rest of his beer while the waitress returned with a tray of fresh drinks. “I don’t blame Kendra for dumping his sorry ass.”