Letting Go (Vista Falls #3) Read online

  “Then why come back?”

  Her question was legitimate but not an easy one for him to answer. “I guess I got tired of running away. It made me feel like a coward, and that’s what he always accused me of being. I couldn’t let him be right.”

  “I don’t know why you always believed that shit he told you,” she said, sounding disgusted. “Everyone knew he was a whack job.”

  He chuckled at her apt description of his father, but it didn’t make his old taunts hurt any less. “When you’re a kid, you believe what your parents tell you. You don’t know any better. So when he told me I was a worthless piece of shit, I believed him. I figured, why would my own father lie to me, right?”

  She stepped closer, her bare breasts brushing his white dress shirt. “He didn’t know you. He may have lived in the same house, eaten at the same table, but he didn’t know what was in here”—she touched his chest, where his heart beat—“or what was in here.” She tapped her index finger against his temple.

  He could barely breathe when she touched him… even when the touch was intended to be an innocent, gentle reminder that he was more than the names that plagued him.

  “You were brilliant, Colt.” She smiled. “I’m not surprised you got all those scholarship offers. What school wouldn’t want you?”

  “Yeah, but according to my old man, I screwed that up too, dropping out after my first year to start Backwoods Outdoors with Wes.”

  She threw her head back laughing, and he curled his hand into a fist to resist the urge to grab her and kiss the smooth, sweetly scented column of her neck.

  “Your dad called you a failure?” Her lips twitched, and her eyes sparkled with amusement. “That’s rich. You’ve built one of the most successful companies in your sector. What’s he done with his life? Aside from bullying everyone who crosses his path?”

  His father was living in a nice assisted living facility outside of town, which Colt foot the bill for since the man had never held a job long enough to draw a decent pension.

  “Put some clothes on,” he whispered, closing his eyes before they could dip lower. “Please. I can’t have this conversation with you… like that.” His eyes were still closed, but he heard rustling and the sound of a zipper.

  “The Colt I remember would have taken me any way he could get me. What happened to that guy?”

  He opened his eyes in time to see her pulling pins from her hair and shaking the long, wavy blond strands until they spilled around her shoulders.

  “That guy grew up.” He cleared his throat. “I don’t expect you to believe me. Lord knows you haven’t seen any evidence of it yet. But you will.” Last time he’d been alone with her in this cabin, he had taken advantage of her feelings for him, and he’d spent every day since hating himself for that.

  “I can’t take another chance on you.” Her eyes were downcast as she bit her lip. “The first time you left, I was heartbroken. But I was just a kid then. I told myself that first loves aren’t meant to last forever. But when you came back the last time and we…” She shook her head. “I’m not going to lie, that’s been harder to get over.”

  He curled his hands around her bare shoulders, knowing immediately that touching her was a mistake. “Look at me.” She did as he asked, but he could tell it cost her. “I’m not over it either. I thought about you every day after I left.”

  “Then why didn’t you call, text, email… something?”

  He should have, but opening the lines of communication would have meant opening his heart to her, and he hadn’t been ready to do that. Until he’d realized that keeping his distance hurt even more. “I didn’t know what to say. I knew any apology I offered would sound hollow, and honestly, I believed you deserved more than that. You deserved to have me standing in front of you like I am now, promising you that I can be a better man.”

  She inhaled deeply before releasing a slow, shaky breath. “I’d be crazy to believe anything you have to say. You know that, don’t you?”

  “I do.” But that didn’t mean he wasn’t holding out hope she’d at least give him a chance to prove himself. “But think about the alternative—we both spend the rest of our lives wondering if maybe, just maybe, we could have been great together.”

  “You don’t think I’ve wasted enough time thinking about that?” She stepped back and bent to pick up her discarded shoes. “I spent the better part of my marriage wondering that.”

  He was shocked to learn he’d crossed her mind while she was married. The Gabby he knew had been faithful to a fault, giving him all of herself even when he didn’t deserve it. “You did?”

  She shook her head, looking frustrated as she pushed past him. “You really are clueless, Atkins.”

  Chapter Two

  Gabby returned to the inn’s dining room, where they’d held the wedding reception because of the threat of rain, only to find her best friend having a heated discussion with her new husband. She didn’t want to intrude, but she couldn’t help being concerned. Sage had waited years to marry the love of her life. What could they possibly have to argue about on their wedding night?

  “Hey, you guys,” she said, approaching. “Everything okay?”

  “There you are!” Sage hugged her with a sigh of relief. “Where were you? I was worried sick after Dave told me what happened.”

  Gabby looked around. There were half as many guests as there had been when she left, and Dave was nowhere to be seen. “Speaking of Dave, where is he?”

  “He left,” Sage said, curling her hand around Gabby’s wrist. “He said since you have a room here tonight, there was no reason for him to stick around.”

  She felt guilty that Dave had probably witnessed her leading Colt outside. “I’m sorry if that caused problems for you. I’ll try to talk to him tomorrow and apologize for the way things went down tonight.” She knew Dave wasn’t the type to hold a grudge, but since they lived in the same small town, she didn’t want things to be awkward the next time their paths crossed. “But what’s going on with you two?” Gabby gestured between the bride and groom. “Looks like you were pretty upset about something.”

  “I am upset!” Sage said, sounding almost hysterical. “I was just telling Wes that Colt can’t just waltz back into your life and turn it upside down again! He doesn’t get to do that!”

  Gabby hugged her friend, touched that Sage would waste time being concerned about her problems on the most important day of her life. She knew if Sage found out about her little rage-fueled striptease, she’d never believe Gabby was done with Colt though.

  “He’s not going to do that,” Gabby assured her, smiling. “I was just telling him that, so you can relax.”

  Sage sank against her husband when Wes put his arm around her, kissing the top of her head. “See, babe, I told you there was nothing to worry about. Gabby can take care of herself.”

  Sage looked over Gabby’s shoulder, her eyes narrowing as she beckoned someone closer with her index finger.

  Uh oh. The look on Sage’s face meant it could only be one person. Colt.

  “Hey, guys,” Colt said, straightening his silver tie when he stood beside Gabby. “What’s up?”

  “You know I love you, right?” Sage asked Colt. “You’re like a brother to Wes, which means I consider you family too.”

  Colt frowned, looking at Wes for some explanation. “Uh, yeah, sure. But why—”

  “This”—she gestured between Colt and Gabby—“is not going to happen, so you can just forget about it.”

  Colt looked more amused than concerned by Sage’s warning as he slipped a hand into the pocket of his black dress pants and rocked back on his heels. “Is that right? And you get to decide this?”

  “Yes! Well, no, but…” Sage glared at Colt, poking a finger in Colt’s chest. “I won’t let you hurt her again. I don’t care what you say, you’re not going to get another chance to break her heart.”

  Colt inclined his head toward his best friend. “You gave this guy another chance
. And I know for a fact he’ll never make you sorry you did.”

  “That’s different,” Sage said, crossing her arms. “Wes didn’t bail on me twice.” She held up two fingers to emphasize her point. “Without a word of explanation.”

  “I’ve apologized to Gabby for that,” Colt said, slipping an arm around Gabby’s waist. “And I’ve tried to explain, but I don’t expect either one of you to take anything I say at face value. I know I’ll have to prove myself to you.” He smirked. “To both of you, apparently.”

  Gabby stepped just out of his reach to make a point. He didn’t get to touch her as though he had the right, sending a clear message to every other man in the room that they were a couple or something.

  “Gabby’s not the only one you bailed on the last time,” Sage said, hooking her thumb at her husband. “You bailed on Wes too. You just woke up one morning and decided that you were leaving even though you two had agreed you were going to move the business back here and work at it together.”

  “I’ve apologized to Wes for the way that went down,” Colt said, sounding remarkably patient. “And I’ve told him it won’t happen again.”

  “Why should he believe you?” Sage demanded.

  Gabby looked up in time to see Colt’s eyes darken with annoyance, and she knew the gloves were about to come off. He was done playing nice.

  “Because he, of all people, knows that I’d never let him down.” He looked Wes in the eye, still speaking to Sage when he said, “I’ve always had his back, and I always will. Our friendship comes before business for me. Always.”

  When Sage would have responded, Colt walked away, heading for the bar.

  “Honey,” Wes said to Sage, “I know you’re worried about Gabby, but you had no right to go off on him like that. Prior to this past year, I spent the past fifteen working side by side with Colt, and I know better than anyone that when he commits to something, like our business, he’s all in.”

  Sage watched Colt throw back a drink before she sighed. “Fine, maybe I was a little hard on him. I’ll go make nice.”

  ***

  Colt felt Sage’s presence behind him before she said a word. But he wasn’t interested in another tongue lashing, so he continued to check his phone, pretending she wasn’t there.

  She stepped up beside him, planting her hands on her hips. “So that’s how it is now? You’re just going to ignore me?”

  “I think you’ve said all you have to say, haven’t you?”

  She made a grab for his phone then opened his black jacket and slipped the device into his pocket. “No, I haven’t.” She smoothed his lapels before adjusting his white rose boutonniere. “You and I were the best of friends once.”

  The four of them had been inseparable in high school, and when Sage was having problems with Wes and needed a guy’s perspective, she’d called him. In fact, Colt had learned she was pregnant even before Wes had.

  “I know.” His tone softened when he scanned her strapless, beaded gown. “And who thought then we’d be standing here now?” He took her hands and kissed them because no matter what she’d said, he couldn’t stay mad at her.

  “I meant what I said earlier,” she said, her eyes filling with tears as she inclined her head toward where her husband and best friend were still talking. “I do love you, Colt. But I love Gabby too, and I don’t want to see her get hurt.”

  “I get that.”

  “But she’s not the only one you hurt.” She sniffled, withdrawing her hands from his. “You hurt me too.”

  “How did I hurt you?” He hated to see a woman cry, and tonight he’d been the cause of two women breaking down.

  “You didn’t just leave Gabby without a word twice. You left me too. I thought we were friends.”

  Colt had been so anxious to get the hell out of Vista Falls all those years ago, to leave all the bad memories behind, he hadn’t taken the time to say good-bye to any of his friends. No wonder he’d received a lukewarm reaction when he returned home over a year ago to reopen the business. Leaving a second time had obviously hurt more people than he’d thought.

  “I’m sorry.” He’d already accepted that he’d be saying that a lot over the next several weeks if he expected to make amends with everyone. “You’re right. I should have reached out to you, but with everything Wes was going through after high school, I guess I was just trying to be there for him.”

  “You knew I was having a baby,” she whispered, her voice cracking with emotion. “You didn’t even call to see how I was after the baby was born.”

  Colt felt another wave of guilt. That had been a lousy thing to do given how close they’d once been. “I guess I thought it was better if I didn’t know.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I was afraid you wouldn’t want Wes to know, so if I called you—and believe me, I thought about it a lot—I assumed you’d ask me to keep anything you told me between us.”

  “And you didn’t think you could do that?”

  “I wasn’t sure I had the right to,” he said, rubbing the stubble on his jaw. “Wes was a wreck, Sage. Anything I could have said or done to make him feel better, I probably would have. Even if that meant breaking a promise to you.” He shrugged. “I wouldn’t have wanted to do that, but it would have been tempting, so I kept my distance so I wouldn’t break your confidence.”

  She shook her head slowly. “I guess I can understand that. If our situations had been reversed, I would have done anything for Gabby too.”

  He’d known this discussion would eventually circle back to his ex-girlfriend.

  “Why did you sleep with her again?” Sage asked. “Especially when you knew you didn’t intend to stick around. That was so unfair.”

  “Gabby was the reason I couldn’t stick around.” He hadn’t intended to admit that, but it was true. “Being back in town was tolerable, even with all the bad memories, but being with Gabby and not being able to give her what she needed, I couldn’t handle that.”

  “Then why are you back now?”

  “I’ve spent the past year working through some things.” He scooted back on the bar stool so he and Sage were eye to eye. “I’ve thought a lot about my family, Gabby…” His gaze hit the floor before he forced his attention back to Sage. “Those first few weeks I was back in Houston, I realized something.”

  “What?”

  “I didn’t belong there anymore.” That realization had come with panic because that was the only place he’d ever felt he belonged. “Wes was gone. Most of our employees, who I’d considered family, were gone. There was nothing left there for me.”

  “So what did you do?”

  “I went on a couple of different outdoor expeditions. Camped out in the woods for a few weeks at a stretch.”

  Sage smiled. “I remember you used to say the woods were your church.”

  “They still are. It gave me a lot of time to think, being by myself all that time. It was what I needed to get my head on straight.”

  “And?”

  He opened his arms. “I’m back, aren’t I? This is where I belong. Good or bad, Vista Falls is home.”

  “I know you have a lot of bad memories here, Colt,” she said, resting her palm against his cheek. “But you have some good ones too, and you could make even more if you’re serious about sticking around.”

  “I can’t keep running, can I?” He’d told himself that he hadn’t been running when he moved to Houston, that he was building a new life for himself. But with all of the unfinished business he’d left behind in Vista Falls, he knew he’d been lying to himself.

  “Just do me a favor?”

  “Sure.” He only hoped that favor wouldn’t involve staying away from Gabby, because he didn’t think he could do that. Not even for Sage.

  “Sort through all that old baggage before you ask for another chance with Gabby.” Before he could respond, she raised her hand to silence him. “Her divorce took a lot out of her, though she’d never admit it. It made her feel
like a failure, and she began to question whether she’d ever have the family she wanted.”

  Family. That word sent a bolt of fear through Colt. Whenever he thought of a future with Gabby, he imagined being her boyfriend. Could he really see himself as her husband, the father of her children? That would, of course, be what she wanted eventually, but could he be a family man… given the example he’d grown up with?

  “So please,” Sage whispered, leaning in to kiss his cheek, “think before you act this time.”

  ***

  “We need to talk,” Sage said, sitting down beside Gabby at the now-empty head table.

  “No, you need to go find that handsome husband of yours,” Gabby said, looking around for Wes. “He must be dying to throw you over his shoulder and get you out of here by now.”

  Sage waved off her friend’s concern. “We have the rest of our lives together. I just need a few minutes with you.”

  Gabby didn’t want to hear another warning about how Colt would ruin her life if she let him. She already knew that, and being reminded only hurt her more.

  “We can talk when you get back from your honeymoon,” Gabby said, reaching for her glass of champagne. “Here’s to Curaçao.” She winked.” And hoping you never have to leave your room.”

  “I know what you’re doing,” Sage said, taking Gabby’s champagne and setting it down. “You’re trying to distract me, and it won’t work.”

  “Can’t blame a girl for trying,” Gabby muttered, kicking her high heels off under the table.

  It reminded her of the last time she’d taken off her shoes… and clothes. God, what had she been thinking, throwing herself at Colt like that? Sure, she had been mad and frustrated and maybe a little hot, but that didn’t mean she had to humiliate herself just to make a point.

  Not that Colt had seemed embarrassed on her behalf. Judging by his reaction, he was anything but. Aroused? Definitely. Mortified? Hardly.

  “You seem off,” Sage said, studying her carefully. “Care to tell me what happened when you and Colt disappeared earlier?”