Bad Habits (Nashville Outlaws #1) Read online

  Things hadn’t worked out too bad for me. I may not be a superstar like Knox, but I got to share a stage with an artist of his calibre every night, which was more than most people could say.

  Gina laughed. “I know what you mean. You know my family.” She rolled her finger around her head. “Cra - cra!”

  Gina’s family were Italian immigrants, and she had more aunts, uncles, and cousins than anyone I’d ever met. Every time she saw them they harassed her about when she was gonna find a good man, settle down, and have babies. No acknowledgement for all that she’d accomplished professionally, just tongue clucking and finger wagging because she hadn’t done her part to rear the next generation of Caruso’s.

  Families. Crazy as hell, but I was still grateful for mine. Both my road family and my biological family. Wouldn’t be all that I am without them.

  “Tour’s going well, huh?” I asked, hoping to circle back to a topic that didn’t involve men or my state of mind.

  “Yeah, Knox has sounded amazing every night.” Gina applied a coat of nude lip gloss while I plopped down on the stool next to her. “Auden too. Won’t be long before that boy’s headlining his own stadium shows.” She side-eyed me before she asked, “If you two hook-up and he asked you, would you go out on the road with Auden?”

  “What?” A hysterical giggle bubbled up. “Are you serious? I could never leave Knox! And you guys! You’re my family.”

  Gina rubbed my back. “Still it would be nice to be rid of stalker Leo, huh? I’m sure Knox would understand if you needed a break from that.”

  Sure, it sucked working with an ex I despised, but I wasn’t one to run away from my problems. And I hadn’t done anything wrong. If anyone should be looking elsewhere for a job it should be him.

  “I love this,” I said, gesturing around our tiny dressing room. “Sure, Auden’s great. But nobody packs ‘em in or gets a crowd fired up the way Knox does.”

  That man bled sex and charisma. A potent combination when it came to ticket and album sales. He was topping the list of country’s top-earning artists for a reason, and I was proud to say I’d been along for the whole gut-wrenching, scream inducing roller-coaster ride.

  “That’s true.” Gina jumped up. “Well, I’m gonna see if I can track Chris down.”

  Chris was the third member of our little back-up trio. We usually sang harmony and the crowd ate it up. It had taken a while to perfect it, but after thousands of hours of rehearsal, we had it down.

  “When you find her ask if—”

  A knock on the door prevented me from asking about the vitamins my friend was going to pick up for me at the store.

  “Come in,” I called, expecting Knox. He usually poked his head in to check on us before the show. If there were any last minute changes to the set he liked to fill us in himself so there was no confusion once we hit the stage.

  Auden half-opened the door, popping his head inside. “Hey, mind if I come in?”

  Gina winked at me before she said, “I was just leaving, Auden. Come on in.” She patted him on the back as she passed. “Good luck tonight, not that you’ll need it.”

  “Thanks, Gina. You too.”

  “Hey,” I said, smiling as I stood.

  We hadn’t been alone together since our little escape to his tour bus and I didn’t know whether he was going to give me the ‘friends’ speech, so I braced myself, preparing to be as cool as possible.

  “What brings you by?”

  He opened his arms and I stepped into them. Okay, we were off to a good start.

  As he held me, I realized for the first time he was a few inches shorter than Knox, with more of a swimmer’s body. Knox loved hitting the gym and had the six-pack to prove it. Now why the hell was I comparing Knox and Auden?

  He curled his hands around my face before kissing my lips. “I have some friends in for the concert tonight. I was hoping you’d come out with us for a drink after the show.”

  “Oh.” Meeting the friends was a step forward, wasn’t it? “Uh, sure. Sounds like fun.” Another tap on the door made me tense up. Maybe Leo had spotted Auden come in and wanted to give us a hard time. “Come in.”

  Knox stuck his head in the door but his smile slipped as soon as he saw Auden.

  Auden threaded his hand through mine, bringing it to his lips as he faced his boss. “Hey, man. What’s up?”

  “Uh, I was gonna ask you the same question.” He frowned. “Don’t you have a show to get ready for? You’re on in twenty.”

  Auden smiled, revealing a slightly crooked incisor that I thought added more character to his smile. “We’re good to go, Knox. All fired up about tonight, to be honest. I’ve got some friends in town for the show and was just asking Cece if she’d like to join us for a drink later.”

  Knox’s eyes drifted to mine and I noticed a subtle shift in his demeanour. His hand curled into a fist and he appeared to be clenching his teeth. What crawled up his ass? I thought he liked Auden. Why would he have a problem with us being together?

  “Is that right?” Knox asked. “Nice. Well, Auden, I didn’t come here to see you. Mind if I have a word with Cece?”

  “Oh yeah, sure.” Auden brushed a kiss across my cheek before he said, “See you later, beautiful.”

  I waited until Auden left before I gave Knox the stink eye. “What’s your problem? You don’t like Auden or what?”

  He shrugged. “I barely know the kid. He’s got a decent voice, but so do a lot of people.”

  I didn’t know why he was trying to downplay Auden’s talent, but it pissed me off. He was also referring to him as a kid a lot. He was a few years younger than me, but I was hardly robbing the cradle, if that’s what he was implying.

  “His voice is better than decent and you know it.” I stepped forward, invading his space. Most people were intimidated by Knox but I was one of the few people who wasn’t afraid to call bullshit when I heard him spewing it. “He has more talent in his little finger,” I said, holding my pinky up for effect, “Than everyone else who wanted this gig combined.”

  “Don’t feel you have to defend your boyfriend,” he said, looking amused. “As long as he keeps performing the way he has been he and I won’t have a problem.”

  “First of all, he’s not my boyfriend—”

  “But you banged him.”

  It wasn’t humour I saw in his eyes, I realized. It was disgust. What the hell was that about?

  “You’ve banged a lot of girls too. They weren’t all your girlfriends.” In fact, very few had earned that title over the years. Knox was more of a one and done kind of guy.

  “But he wants you to meet his friends,” he said, hooking his thumb over his shoulder. “That’s gotta count for something, right?”

  Normally I would have been happy to hear Knox say he thought it meant Auden was ready to take things to the next level, but the edge in his voice made me wonder if he would see it that way. “I don’t know. You think so?” I was testing him. Waiting for his reaction.

  If he was happy for me, we were good. If not, I had to figure what the hell was going on with my friend… and boss. We couldn’t afford to have tension on the road. It usually carried over on to the stage and affected his performance.

  “You want it to mean something?” he asked, looking into my eyes like he was trying to read my mind. “You’re really into this guy?”

  I raised my chin before drawing my gaze from his by sheer willpower. He has the lightest, more piercing blue eyes. Looking into them, it was like a magnetic force drawing you in, holding you there until he was ready to let you go. Ugh! This was Knox. I wasn’t supposed to be getting all hung up on how hot he was.

  “Yeah, I am.” Maybe not as into him as I’d been twenty-four hours ago, and I didn’t know why that was. I’d been excited about Auden before we slept together. I hadn’t been lying when I said he was a force between the sheets… so why was I having second thoughts?

  “You sure about that?” His full lips twitched. He could alwa
ys tell when I was second-guessing myself and liked to tease me about my brain working overtime.

  “Ugh! I hate you!” I pushed against his chest, but he curled his hands around my wrists, holding me firm.

  His eyes were serious, compelling when he rubbed his nose against mine, smiling. Our foreheads were touching when he drew a deep breath. “I love you, girl. So damn much. I’m not gonna stand by and watch another dirtbag do a number on you the way that shithead did. So just know, I’ve got my eye on your buddy, Auden. He steps out of line and he’s gone.”

  I loved Knox for looking out for me, but I could take care of myself. If Leo had taught me one thing, it was to be more cautious. I wasn’t going to take everything a guy said at face value anymore, a lesson I should have learned a long time ago.

  “Don’t worry about me.” I braced my hands on his wide shoulder. “I love you for caring, but I got this, boss. This thing between me and Auden is nothing for you to concern yourself with. Trust me.”

  “I trust you.” He grimaced. “Him? I’m not convinced.”

  Knox knew a thing or two about players, so if he saw red flags with Auden I was damn sure gonna heed his warning. “What do you mean by that? Have you seen or heard anything?” There were always rumours circulating about musicians, but most of them were BS. If Knox had facts to back up shit he’d heard about Auden I was all ears.

  “I’ve seen the way he looks at other girls.”

  I frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  “You deserve a guy who looks at you like you’re the only girl in the world.” His whisper was fierce when he said, “No one, and I mean no one, should be able to turn your man’s head.”

  I got a fluttery feeling in my stomach when he talked like that. Like I was someone special who deserved the best. “Thank you, but—”

  “No buts.” He placed his finger over my lips. “I’m serious, Cece. Don’t you dare settle for less. Not this time. Hold out for the guy who looks at you like that.”

  “And you don’t think that’s Auden?” I asked, knowing that I’d be watching him a hell of a lot closer from now on. He and I weren’t serious. Not even close. But I did want someone who wouldn’t be tempted by another pretty face. Next time I chose a partner I wanted someone who was all in.

  He seemed like he was tempted to say something before he finally shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. But tread lightly with this one, girl. Keep your eyes and ears open. If it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t.”

  I guess it really was as simple, and as complicated as that. I had to figure out if being with Auden felt right.

  Chapter 3

  Knox

  We’d put on a hell of a show and I knew I should be happy about that. But I wasn’t happy. Why? Because Cece was out with my opening act.

  The way I was feeling made no sense. Yesterday, I looked at Cece and saw one of my best friends. Today I looked at her and saw… someone else. A woman I’d never seen before. I noticed every little thing that made her so unique. I was slammed by every intimate moment we’d ever shared. I imagined her with someone else and it got inside my head, tormenting me.

  “Hey.”

  Ugh. Leo. The last person I wanted to see. But at least if I wanted to take my anger out on someone I’d found the guy who deserved it. “What do you want?” I’d barely said two words to the loser since I found him in my dressing room pounding a twenty year-old.

  “I guess you heard Cece’s out with Auden, huh?” He rolled his eyes. “What’s she see in that guy?”

  I set my guitar upright beside me. I’d been in the common area backstage working on a song after the crowd dispersed. A song about friends to lovers that zeroed in on my feeling for Cece.

  “I’m still trying to figure out what the hell she saw in you.” I’d been civil to him when he was dating her, but now all bets were off. I hadn’t found the chance to tell him what I thought of him for doing a number on Cece, but he’d crossed my path at the wrong time tonight. I was pissed and looking for a target.

  He looked taken aback by my candor, but he said, “Look, I know you never liked me, but I did—do love her, Knox.”

  “You’ve got a funny way of showin’ it.” I glared at him. “You don’t show a girl you love her by bangin’ the first chick who comes on to you.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “I knew it. You’re the reason Cece won’t take me back.”

  Was he crazy… puffing his chest out at me? I’d love an excuse to beat his head in, then fire his worthless ass. “Cece won’t take you back ‘cause she’s too damn good for you and you helped her figure that out. You wanna blame someone, it’s the loser in the mirror, dumbass.”

  He clenched his fists and I wanted to give him a reason to take a swing. To goad him into the worst mistake of his life. I hadn’t had to throw one in a while because I usually had handlers surrounding me these days. But that didn’t mean I forgot how. I grew up in Beattyville, where drugs were rampant and dealers were dangerous. You either learned how to survive or you didn’t make it out alive.

  “You never wanted Cece to get with me. Admit it.”

  “You’re right.” I scanned my phone, hoping she’d send me a text about how boring Auden’s friends were and that she was having a shitty time. “She deserves way better than a guy who can’t keep it in his pants.” I smirked. “You had the best thing that’ll ever happen to you in your miserable life within your grasp and let her go. Must suck, huh? Knowing you’ll never find anyone else like her?”

  He looked like one of those cartoon characters with steam coming out of his ears, the little weasel, and I was enjoying every second of this long overdue tear down.

  “Stay out of our way,” he warned, stabbing a finger in my direction. “We will get back together. You’ll see. And when we do—”

  “Not gonna happen.” I looked him in the eye, daring him to challenge me. “You hear me? Over my dead body will she take you back.”

  “You can’t stop her!”

  He sounded like the whiny little bitch he was, making me wonder how the hell Cece put up with him as long as she did. “Then you underestimate the amount of pull I have with her.” I smiled, pissing him off even more. “Cece and I tell each other everything. She asks for my advice and takes it to heart. If she ever softened, even for a second, where you’re concerned, I’d be sure to remind her what you did. And why you can’t be trusted.”

  He uncapped a bottle of water with force before taking a long pull. “Why? Because you want her for yourself?”

  Did I? “None of your business what I want. Point is what you had and lost. And make no mistake, you lost Cec. She’s not comin’ back to you, man. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. So get your head out of your ass and quit harrassin’ the girl. ‘Cause if you don’t, you and I are gonna have a real problem. And trust me, you don’t want that.”

  “It’s not over just ‘cause you say it is.” He glared at me. “I know you like to think of yourself as some god because everyone bows down to you, but—”

  “This has nothing to do with ego. Or control. This is about me lookin’ out for a girl who means everything to me. Keepin’ her from making another mistake.” I clenched my teeth. “I saw her shed tears over you.” And that still made me want to punch something, preferably him, every time I thought about it. “You know what that did to me? Watchin’ her fall apart over a tool like you?”

  “You can deny it all you want but she loves me. She wouldn’t have reacted that way if she didn’t.”

  I hated to admit it, but Cece’s feelings for this guy ran deeper than I would have suspected. Granted, all the women on my crew thought he was hot. Nice even, from what I’d been told, but a nice guy didn’t cheat on his girlfriend with some little skank who traded sexual favors for backstage passes.

  “She may have loved you,” I conceded, the admission tasting like the worst shot I’d ever choked back. “But that was then. You need to move on. Go find some other poor sucker
who doesn’t know you. ‘Cause Cece’s on to you now, man. The deal’s up.”

  I laced my fingers, leaning my elbows on my knees. I wanted to punch this guy in his pretty face, mess up his perfect teeth. The surge of violence was normal, I reasoned. He hurt someone I love. But there was nothing ‘normal’ about the frustration and rage surging through me right now and I knew it wasn’t entirely directed at him. I blamed him for being the idiot who let Cece go. But I wasn’t any smarter than he was. I’d been her best friend for years. And for years she’d watched me drift in and out of meaningless relationships, treat sex like a hobby. The opinion she’d formed of me was cut in stone. In her eyes I was a player. The kind of guy a smart girl would never trust with her heart. And I hated that ‘cause I’d slit my own wrists before I ever broke that girl’s heart.

  “Hey.”

  As soon as I looked up and saw her standing in the doorway, her eyes darting nervously between me and her ex, I wanted to jump up and wrap my arms around her. Smother her beautiful face in kisses and tell her I loved her. I wasn’t ready to dissect that love, but damn, it was the most intense thing I’d ever experienced.

  “Hey, gorgeous.” I smiled to let her know she had nothing to worry about. I wouldn’t be laying a beating on her pretty-boy ex tonight. “You’re back early.” And I hope that means you’re done with your boy-toy. I had no reason to dislike Auden. He was a decent guy, but he was quickly claiming the spot of public enemy number two, just behind the asshat standing in front of me, eyeing my girl like she was the answer to his pathetic prayers.

  “Get out,” I said, scowling at him. “This conversation is over and I want to talk to Cece alone.”

  He glared at me before heaving a sigh when he realized he was fighting a losing battle. “I’ll see your tomorrow, Cece.”

  “Unfortunately,” she muttered before closing the door on him.

  I patted the two seater sofa beside me and flipped my notepad over. I wasn’t ready for her to read my song lyrics yet. We’d worked on a few songs together over the years and she could probably help me flush this one out, if it wasn’t about her.