Burn Out Read online

  She smiled at him, trying to look sweet and innocent, but he knew she was gearing up to meddle in his life yet again.

  “It sure was nice to see Erika again. It’s been too long.” She brushed a piece of lint off his shirt. “Don’t you think?”

  “Yeah, it’s good to see her.”

  “Have you seen her at all since the break-up?”

  She was feigning nonchalance, but she wasn’t fooling him. He knew she was on a fishing expedition. “Once or twice.”

  “Huh, it looked like you two were getting pretty close on the dance floor. Any chance y’all might be thinking about getting back together?”

  Evan forced himself to take a deep breath so he wouldn’t lose his temper. He knew she was just trying to help, but trying to come to terms with the fact he’d lost Erika was hard enough. He didn’t need his family and friends reminding him that he would never find anyone else like her. “In case you didn’t notice, she’s here with someone else.”

  Marisa wrinkled her nose, as though she’d caught a whiff of a foul odor in the air. “I don’t like him.”

  “Oh yeah? I didn’t hear Erika askin’ for your opinion.”

  She slapped her son’s shoulder while giving him a stern look. “Don’t get smart with me.”

  “Look, Ma, I know you’re worried about me, but you don’t have to be. I’m fine.”

  “Honey,” she said, softening her tone. “You’re not fine. You haven’t been fine since Erika left you.”

  He couldn’t argue with her claim, so he bit his lip and said nothing. Admitting to his mother that time had done little to lessen the pain of losing her wouldn’t help.

  “Maybe if you made some changes, if she could see that you were serious about turning your life around.”

  “Who says I wanna change my life? I happen to like it the way it is.” They both knew that was his pride talking. He hated coming home to an empty apartment every night and going in to the office on weekends because there was no one in his life to try and tempt him into having a little fun once in a while.

  “I don’t believe you.” She sighed. “You’re as bad as your father. You know that, don’t you?”

  She wasn’t the first one to tell him he was a carbon copy of the old man. Most days it didn’t bother him, but right now it felt like a dagger in the back. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “If I hadn’t forced him to admit what he stood to lose if I left him, he would have lived the rest of his life alone.” She rolled her eyes when Evan didn’t appear convinced. “Okay, so maybe he wouldn’t have been alone, but he wouldn’t have been happy. He would have worked himself into an early grave, just like you are.”

  “Gee, thanks for tryin’ to cheer me up.”

  “I don’t care if I sound harsh.”

  He remembered that tone of voice. It was the same one she used when he got in trouble for fighting at school.

  “We both know it’s the truth, Evan.”

  “All right, what would you suggest I do?” If she could help him figure out how to make inroads with Erika, he was willing to listen. He glanced over her shoulder and spotted Erika throwing back shots. Ryan, Dom, and Lena seemed to be in on the action as well. Erika didn’t drink often, but he remembered how wild she got in the bedroom when she did. Just thinking about it made him crazy.

  “Does she seem happy to you?” Marisa asked, following the direction of his gaze. “I can’t say I’ve ever seen her drink like that. Maybe this is just as difficult for her as it is for you.”

  “She dumped me, not the other way around.”

  “You didn’t give her a choice.”

  “I can’t believe you’re takin’ her side.” He stepped back, but Marisa stepped forward, refusing to allow him to escape until she’d said her piece.

  “I’m not taking sides, but there’s one thing I know for sure: that girl loved you.”

  “Yeah, loved, past tense.” Remembering her words still hurt. I stopped loving you a long time ago, Evan. For days after, it had sounded like a sadistic chant in his head, mocking him whenever he tried to focus on anything else, including business.

  “You don’t believe she’s still in love with you?”

  “No, I don’t.” At the time, he wanted to believe she’d said it in the heat of the moment, hoping it would prompt him to back off, but too many months had passed. If she had any regrets about ending their relationship, she’d had plenty of time to tell him. “She said she fell out of love with me and I believe she meant it.” It still hurt him to admit it to himself. He’d never found the courage to admit it to anyone else until now.

  “I saw the two of you together earlier, on the dance floor and by the front door. She still looks like a woman in love to me.”

  He wanted to believe that, but setting himself up for another fall was emotional suicide. Getting over her once had been nearly impossible. His heart would never recover from another rejection. “I think you were readin’ her wrong. If she was still into me, she wouldn’t have brought some other guy here tonight.”

  “Why not? You brought another woman.”

  “Come on, you know Natasha and I are just friends.”

  “I know that, but does Erika?”

  “Yeah, I told her.”

  Marisa smiled. “Interesting. She asked about your relationship with Natasha?”

  “Not exactly. She said she thought she was pretty or something. Hell, I don’t remember exactly what she said. I could barely breathe, havin’ her back in my arms again, much less follow the thread of the conversation.”

  Marisa reached up to pat his cheek, sadness etching lines on her face. “Honey, I know she’s the one. I just hate to see you let her go.”

  “You think this is what I want?” he whispered fiercely. “This is killin’ me. Can’t you see that?”

  “You’re the only one who can turn things around. You know why she felt she had to leave you. In her position, I probably would have felt the same way.”

  “How can you say that?” It took all the self-control Evan possessed not to shout out his frustration. He was tired of being the villain, especially when he was just trying to do right by his family. He didn’t want his father’s legacy tarnished by two lazy kids who couldn’t maintain the high standard he’d set. “You’ve been married to Dad for more than thirty years. He’s spent every damn one of those years every bit as devoted to Titan as I am.”

  “That’s true,” Marisa said, inclining her head in agreement. “But his family came first. I came first. He never let me forget that.”

  Evan wanted to argue the point, but he couldn’t. As busy as Luc was, he’d never missed an important sporting event or graduation ceremony. He’d been a hands-on parent, even when it seemed like he was sacrificing sleep to be there for them.

  “You think I made Erika less of a priority in my life?” He looked at Erika, and his heart ached when he realized he’d given her so much less of himself than she deserved. He should have told her every day, in every possible way that she was his everything.

  “Didn’t you?”

  “I don’t know,” he whispered. He knew the truth; they both did. “How the hell am I supposed to do it all? Balance the company and a relationship, kids…

  “Do you want to have a family someday?”

  “Of course, but I don’t want to be a part-time dad.” He wanted to be the kind of dad his was, but he didn’t see how that was possible given his current work load.

  “We make time for the things and people that are important to us. You didn’t make time for Erika. You made her feel as though she wasn’t important to you.”

  “She was.” His eyes locked with Erika’s and he could tell she was still trying to deny his effect on her. “She still is.”

  “Then you need to make her believe that.”

  He wanted to believe it wasn’t too late, but he knew his mother was right. He would have to figure out how to completely restructure his life if he wanted to convince Erika he was
a changed man.

  “I’m gonna do whatever it takes to get her back,” he said, his eyes still fixed on Erika.

  Marisa reached up to kiss his cheek. “I’m glad to hear you say that. I’ve waited so long to see that sparkle back in your eye.”

  He forced himself to break eye contact with Erika. “What sparkle is that?”

  “That one,” she said, winking at him. “The one you get when you look at her.”

  ***

  Erika was sitting at the table alone when she felt the heat of Evan’s body behind her. She didn’t even have to look up to know it was him. No one else affected her the way he did.

  He leaned over to whisper in her ear as he fixed his hands on either side of the table top in front of her. “Where’s your boyfriend?”

  “He’s… uh… dancing with Lena.” Her eyes drifted closed as his hot breath fanned her ear. She knew drinking was a bad idea, given the effect it had on her. They hadn’t made love in too many months, and the liquid aphrodisiac making her body tingle was a potent reminder that abstinence was brutal.

  “Excuse me,” he said, reaching around her for the full shot glass.

  She watched him bring it to his lips, a shudder moving through her as he tipped his head back and swallowed. “That was mine.” Pointing out the obvious seemed ridiculous, but she couldn’t think of anything else to say, except maybe… I want you.

  He took a step around the table.

  Her face burned when she turned her head and found herself eye-to-eye with his bulging zipper. Quickly looking away, she saw Jeff walking toward them.

  Jeff glared at Evan before offering her his hand. “We should go. We have an early morning, with that vaccine clinic and all.”

  She knew he was right, but she wasn’t ready for the evening to end. She hadn’t allowed herself to let go and have a good time with friends in a long time. “Um, why don’t you go on ahead?” She looked over his shoulder to where Lena stood. “Would you guys mind giving me a ride home?”

  “Of course not,” Lena said, raising a glass.

  Dom laughed as he hooked an arm around his fiancée’s shoulder. “I’m glad we all had the good sense to line up cars for the night.” He nudged Jeff’s arm. “Hey, you need a ride?”

  “You know I don’t drink,” Jeff said, taking a step away from Dom.

  Erika knew Jeff didn’t like her ex-boyfriend’s best friend. Not that she could blame him. Dom had never made a secret of the fact his loyalty would always be to Evan.

  “Oh yeah, I forgot.” Dom rolled his eyes at Evan. “How ‘bout you, man? You ready to line ‘em up again?”

  Evan grinned. “You know I’m in.”

  For a split second, it felt like old times. The four of them out together, having a good time, celebrating… until she saw the scowl on Jeff’s face that reminded her Evan wasn’t the man in her life anymore.

  “Don’t let us keep you,” Evan said to Jeff. He waved his hand as though trying to discourage an annoying bug from getting too close. “Don’t worry about her. She’s in good hands.”

  “I don’t think I should leave you here…” Jeff shot a meaningful look at Evan. “With him.”

  “Listen, buddy,” Evan said, taking a step forward. “If anyone doesn’t belong here, it’s you. Now get the hell outta here before you really piss me off.”

  Erika jumped up, wedging her body between the two men. She realized her mistake as soon as Evan grabbed her waist, pulling her back against his chest. “Stop,” she hissed.

  “Let me set the record straight, in case you have any doubt about where I stand,” Evan said, pointing at Jeff. “I’m in love with her. I never stopped lovin’ her. She belongs with me, not you.”

  Jeff took a step toward them. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

  “Who do I think I am?” Evan asked, chuckling. “I’m the guy who shared her bed for six years. I’m the only guy she’s ever loved. I’m the guy she intended to marry and have babies with, that’s who I am. Who the hell are you?”

  Erika knew by the tense set of his body that Evan wasn’t as relaxed as he pretended, and she’d seen him in too many bar fights to think this situation could possibly end well for Jeff. “Please,” she said to Jeff, raising her hand. “Just go. I don’t want to ruin Lena and Dom’s party. I’ll see you at the clinic in the morning.”

  “I can’t believe you’re really gonna stay here with this guy.”

  She knew she didn’t owe Jeff an explanation. They were dating, but she’d made it clear he was free to date other women and she always assumed he knew she had the same freedom.

  “I’m not gonna tell you again,” Evan said through clenched teeth. “Get out before I throw you out of here on your ass.”

  Jeff glared at the people around them one more time before he grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and stalked toward the door.

  Dom saluted him. “Thanks for comin’. Hope to see you again real soon.”

  Lena slapped his arm as everyone around them laughed, everyone except Evan.

  Erika could tell Evan was struggling with the urge to go after Jeff and lay him out on the sidewalk, so she turned in to his arms to distract him. Mission accomplished. He thrust his hands into her hair and took her mouth in a hungry, possessive kiss that turned her bones to mush as she clung to him to keep from puddling in a hot mess at his feet.

  “What the hell was that?” she asked when he finally let her come up for air.

  “That was to remind you what you’ve been missin’ while you were wastin’ your time with that loser.”

  If not for the alcohol lowering her inhibitions, she may have noticed the people around them staring at them in shock as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a taste of his own potent medicine.

  Chapter Three

  Evan felt like he was going to explode, right there in front of his family and friends. He’d never been big on public displays of affection, but he could barely contain the urge to slide the drinks off the table and take her right there on the hard slab of scarred wood.

  “We’re leavin’,” he said, grabbing her hand and hauling her towards the door. The chorus of catcalls, whistles, and laughter fell away as he coaxed her into the waiting limousine. In the darkness, he took a second to give the driver instructions before raising the privacy glass and pulling her on to his lap.

  “We shouldn’t be doing this,” she whispered, her head rolling back as he grazed her neck with his tongue.

  He pushed her leather blazer off, letting it fall to the floor as he quickly worked the tiny buttons lining the front of her shirt. He wouldn’t let his conscience make him consider how many drinks she’d had, not when she was finally back in his arms, kissing him as passionately as she had every night in his dreams.

  “Yes, we should,” he said, flicking his tongue over her ear. He knew her sensitive spots, the places that would have her pleading with him to finish what he’d started. He knew it may not be fair to use his intimate knowledge of her body as a weapon against her, but he didn’t care as long as she was back in his bed… where she belonged.

  “Oh God,” she murmured when he pressed the snap to free her breasts from the pink lacy bra.

  He filled his hands with her as he devoured her breasts with his mouth. Swirling his tongue over one nipple, then the other, he felt her twisting her hips, grinding into his arousal as she threaded her hands through his hair to hold him in place.

  “Evan…”

  The sound of his name on her lips while he pleasured her sounded sweeter than any award-winning ballad he’d ever heard. “That’s it, baby,” he whispered, lost in her pleasure. “Give yourself to me. I want all of you.”

  She moaned low and deep in her throat as she rotated her hips, obviously trying to create the friction she needed to enhance her pleasure.

  Evan cursed when he saw his building come in to view. He was afraid the blast of cold air, coupled with seeing the place that housed so many of their memories,
would prompt her to re-think her decision to be with him tonight. He was tempted to tell the driver to keep going when she started to right her clothing and pull away from him.

  “Sweetheart…” He was caught off guard when he looked up and saw the lust in her eyes. She was as hot for him as he was for her. Suddenly he couldn’t get upstairs fast enough. When he was satisfied she was decent, he reached for the door handle before the driver could do the honors.

  “Mr. Spencer,” the driver said, tipping his hat as he met them on the sidewalk. “I hope the ride was enjoyable.”

  Evan grinned as he glanced at Erika. He could tell she was trying to suppress the urge to laugh by the mischievous sparkle in her eye as she bit her lip. “It was great. Thanks, Tom.” He reached into the pocket of his black jeans and pulled a couple of hundred dollar bills off the top of the roll. “I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.”

  Titan often used Tom’s services when they had clients in from out of town.

  “I look forward to it.” The elderly man smiled at Erika and tipped his hat. “Lovely to see you again, Dr. Carlton.”

  “You as well, Tom. Say hi to your family for me.”

  Evan knew Tom and his wife, Sandy, brought their Dalmatian in to Erika’s clinic. He hoped she wasn’t embarrassed to be seen by a client with swollen lips and whisker burns on her neck.

  Tom winked at him before walking around the back of the car, whistling a happy tune.

  “I wonder what that was all about,” Erika said, frowning as he took her hand and led her inside the glass doors.

  Evan didn’t believe in maintaining the professional distance with their employees that Luc favored. He wanted Titan to be an extension of his family. In spite of his father’s objections, he believed that was the only way to inspire loyalty, so he treated everyone the same, from the top of the ladder to the bottom. He’d even confessed to Tom a time or two how much he missed Erika, so he was certain the older man was pleased to see them together again.

  “I have no idea,” he said, swiping his card across the inner door so they could gain access to the lobby.