Perfect Storm (The Exes #1) Page 6

  “I was ashamed to tell you,” he admitted. “I thought you’d be disgusted.”

  I wasn’t disgusted. I was just disappointed. I felt sad for him because I believed he thought having lousy parents excluded him from being a good parent. “I’m glad you told me. It helps me to understand you better.”

  “Helps you to move on too, I imagine.” He scrubbed a hand over his face, looking frustrated. “Why the hell would you want a guy like me, who thought the way I did about my own kid, to get you pregnant, right?”

  “You’re entitled to your feelings,” I said, knowing it was true. “It’s not a crime to not want children. Lots of people make that choice.”

  “Yeah, I guess so.” My phone buzzed and he glanced at it but didn’t say anything. “So, this is it, huh?”

  “There’s nothing left for us, Jace.” The last two days had almost pulled me back in. The sex. The intimacy. The fantasies. The passion and love and desperation. It had all conspired to make me confused. To make me doubt my decision. But I couldn’t do that. Not if I wanted a family someday.

  “I hate that you told me about that damn fantasy of yours.”

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.” Maybe that wasn’t fair to him, but I honestly didn’t expect it to affect him the way it affected me.

  “I went up to the apartment after Tracey left the bar and I stood in the doorway of the guest bedroom for the longest time, just imagining what it might look like as a nursery.”

  “Don’t do that.”

  I shook my head as an image flashed in my mind of exactly what it would look like. I saw the glider in front of the large window. The pale yellow crib and changing table. My mom’s handmade pastel quilt hanging over the crib’s railing. The stuffed animals and soft blocks lining the shelves and his or her name in bubble letters on the wall. Then there was the mobile that played soft music while they drifted off to sleep. Yeah, I’d thought about it a lot.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “You must have imagined what I’d be like as a Dad.”

  “I did.” All the time.

  “What did you see in me that made you think I’d be a good one?”

  My breath stuttered because I never expected him to ask me this question, yet I had a ready answer because I’d thought about it so many times. “You may be tough on the outside. Brash and crude sometimes. Unyielding. Stubborn.” I smiled when he nodded in acknowledgement. “But there’s another side to you. A side not many people get to see, but I did.”

  “Tell me,” he whispered, edging forward on the couch. “Tell me what you see in me that I can’t see in myself.”

  “You can also be gentle and sweet and protective. You took such good care of me. You’d never let anyone or anything hurt me. Making me happy was the most important thing in the world to you.” I smiled, thinking he’d been everything I’d ever wanted in a boyfriend. He would have been an amazing husband. “I just thought a man who treats the woman he loves that way would naturally treat his baby that way. Especially if that baby were a product of us, our love.”

  “I never allowed myself to think about that,” he said, looking thoughtful.

  “What’s that?”

  “They’d be a part of us. You and me.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Your eyes,” he whispered, his eyes gliding over me. “Your hair. Your sweet smile.”

  “Jace, stop.” I couldn’t do this anymore. It was too painful. “Please, I think we’ve said all we need to say on this. It’s not going to happen. We’ve both made peace with that.”

  He stared at me, as though he wanted to say more, but finally stood, walking to the door.

  Trying to ease the tension, I pointed at the pizza box. “You didn’t eat. You want to take some with you?”

  “No, thanks.” He turned and pulled me into his arms, letting my head rest against his solid chest as he stroked my hair. “I love you so much, girl. You gotta know that.”

  “I do.” But whoever said love was enough was a damn liar.

  ***

  I’d finally hauled my lazy ass to the doctor’s office to get my prescription refilled, but of course he made me go through the annual checkup too. We were sitting at his desk after I’d redressed and he was reviewing my file.

  “Hm, I see here you haven’t been taking the pill for the last month.” He looked up at me, his steel-framed glasses perched on the end of his nose. “Have you decided to use an alternative form of birth control instead?”

  I stared at him before shaking my head as I reached into my purse. “I have been taking the pill,” I said, thrusting the packet I’d retrieved from Jace’s apartment at him. “See. I had an extra one left over.”

  He frowned as he looked at his computer screen. “That can’t be right. You came to see me one year ago last month. On the tenth. Unless the pharmacy made a mistake?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. All I know is I had the pills so I took them. I knew I had to come in and renew my prescription before I ran out, so here I am.”

  The white-haired doctor flipped the plastic disc over and pushed his glasses back up on his nose. “Cory, these pills have expired. How long have you had them?”

  My stomach dropped as I snatched them out of his hand. He was old. He’d probably misread the small print. They couldn’t be expired. I took them on the trip with us and they’d worked just fine. Maybe you weren’t ovulating then idiot, a little voice in my head chided.

  Oh my God! He was right. They’d expired two years ago. “I… don’t know. They were shoved in the back of a drawer. I didn’t even think to look at the date. I wasn’t even sure I knew that birth control pills had an expiration date.”

  “Do you and your partner use any other form of birth control?” he asked, gently. “Condoms, maybe?”

  “No.” I shook my head, feeling nauseous. This could not be happening. Not now. Not after the talk I’d had with Jace last night. “Just the pill.”

  “You started taking these a couple of days ago?” he asked, pulling out an old-fashioned desktop calendar only doctors seemed to favor.

  “Yes.”

  “Can you tell me when the first day of your last cycle was?”

  My hands were shaking when I took the calendar from him and tried to remember. I was terrible at keeping track of shit like this, but I was able to pinpoint it. It was a Monday. Two weeks ago today. I remember because I thought cramps were a shitty way to start the week.

  “Here,” I said, pointing at the big black number as I passed it back to him.

  He nodded. “And have you had unprotected sex in the last seventy-two hours?”

  Unprotected sex. Oh God. “I didn’t mean to,” I said, biting my lips as tears welled in my eyes. “I mean, I didn’t know the pills had expired.”

  “Then you have had intercourse?” he asked gently.

  I held up two shaky fingers and whispered, “Twice.”

  He took his glasses off and sank bank in his leather swivel chair with a heavy sigh. “I can tell you won’t be thrilled to hear this, but based on the regularity of your cycle that would have been your fertile period.”

  “No,” I said, still in denial. “That’s not possible.” I stabbed a finger at the pill packet that had potentially ruined my life. “Those may have worked. I mean, I know they may not be as effective, but there’s still a chance they could have protected me, right?”

  He frowned like he thought I was daft, but didn’t say as much. “The potency of any product two years past its expiration date can’t be relied upon, my dear.”

  He was talking to me like an innocent teenager who didn’t understand what her body was capable of. I was a grown woman who’d been sexually active for more years than I cared to count. And I’d made a mistake, a potentially huge, life-altering mistake, but I was big girl. I could deal with the consequences, right?

  “So, can I find out now if I’m pregnant?” I wasn’t sure I was ready to know the truth, but
at least if I was I could start taking better care of myself. Start eating better, taking vitamins, quit drinking… Oh my God, the alcohol.

  “I’ve been drinking,” I blurted out. “Could that harm the baby? I mean, if I am pregnant?”

  He smiled, looking sympathetic. “You certainly shouldn’t drink while you’re pregnant, but many women have had a glass or two before they realized they were pregnant and it’s produced no ill side effects.”

  “Okay, good.” I took a deep breath. No more Jack for me. I was okay with that. Anything to protect my baby. My hand drifted to my flat stomach as the realization hit me. I could be pregnant!

  “You asked about a pregnancy test,” the doctor said. “I’m afraid it’s a bit too early to tell. A blood test can detect hCG, which is the pregnancy hormone, six to eight days after ovulation. A home pregnancy test can detect it a day or two after your period is due to start.”

  “Are you telling me I have to wait two more weeks to find out if I’m pregnant?” I’d go crazy waiting.

  “I’m afraid so,” he said, looking sympathetic. “We could order a blood test next week, but I’d suggest waiting until you’re able to do a home test. If it’s positive, come back and see me and we’ll confirm, then get you started on a good prenatal regime.”

  I watched him scribble something on his notepad. “I assume you want a refill on your birth control pills in the event you’re not pregnant?”

  I nodded dumbly as my mind tried to process everything. “But, um, is it safe for me to take those over the next couple of weeks, before I find out for sure?”

  “You could,” he said, handing me the slip of paper. “There are studies going on all the time. There have been a few that indicated a slightly higher risk of birth defects or ectopic pregnancy while using the pill in the early stages of pregnancy, but-”

  “I won’t take them,” I said, shaking my head firmly. “Not until I know for sure.” I wouldn’t do anything to knowingly put my baby at risk.

  “If that’s the way you feel,” the doctor said. “I would suggest your partner use a condom to-”

  “I don’t have a partner,” I blurted, feeling myself blush. “I mean, I do. But he’s my ex-boyfriend. We’re not together anymore.” Duh. That’s what ex usually means.

  “I see.”

  “So abstaining from sex for the next two weeks won’t be a problem.” God, why couldn’t I quit babbling and wasting this poor man’s time and just haul ass out of there? I stood, thrusting my hand out before shoving the prescription in my purse. “Thank you, Dr. Tate. I’ll see you soon. Or not. I don’t know. Maybe.”

  He closed both of his hands over mine before he said, “Just relax. You don’t know anything for sure. Pregnancy is a strong possibility, not a foregone conclusion. You may not be pregnant.”

  But I may be. What the hell was I going to do now?

  Chapter Seven

  Jace

  I got the distinct impression Cory had been trying to avoid me lately so I finally cornered her in the office before the rush started, determined to hash it out. If we were going to work together we had to actually talk to each other.

  It had been two weeks since our talk in her apartment and I’d been dealing with some weird shit so I’d let her keep to herself. Those things she said about a baby of our own coupled with that damn erotic fantasy was conspiring to make me start thinking about shit I never had before.

  I’d find myself glimpsing into baby strollers when I passed them on the street or bending to pick up a dropped rattle in the park. I even smiled at a tiny pink dress in the window of a baby boutique the other day. What the hell was happening to me?

  “Hey.”

  She started at the sound of my voice before reaching for the bottle of water on her desk.

  I held up the bottle of Jack and two glasses I’d brought in with me. “You want a hit?”

  She looked at the bottle longingly before shaking her head firmly. “No thanks, I’m good.”

  I circled the desk while I poured, reading the computer screen she’d been working on. “Scheduling problems?”

  She sighed. “That new waitress you hired isn’t very reliable. She’s called in sick twice and I’ve had to either fill in myself or scramble to find a last minute replacement.” She glared at me. “Maybe from now on you should try hiring with your big head instead of the little one, huh?”

  “Hey,” I said, holding my hand up. “I didn’t even notice the size of her-”

  “Don’t mess with me today, Jace. I’m not in the mood.”

  “I can see that.” I set my glass down on the desk and started massaging her shoulders. “You wanna talk about it?”

  She sighed, rolling her neck while I worked on a knot. She was tight as hell, but not in the way I usually enjoyed. “I’m just so tired,” she said, sounding thoroughly exhausted. “I haven’t been sleeping much.”

  “Things are going well around here,” I said, trying to reassure her. “We’re up twenty percent over this time last year.”

  “I know, it’s not that.”

  She seemed down, not her usual feisty self, and I hated that. “Babe, if you need a few days off to regroup, take it. I can handle things around here.”

  “Thanks,” she said, patting my hand. “But it’ll take a lot longer than that to work through the shit I’m dealing with.”

  I sat on the edge of the desk facing her. “Cory, talk to me.” When she didn’t respond, I grabbed her hand. “I’d like to think we’re past all that awkwardness. I thought we were finally getting back to a good place-”

  “Why? Because I was sleeping with you again?”

  I’ll admit that question made my dick twitch, but I was really trying to be a good guy here. A strong shoulder for her to lean on. “Is that all your ever think about?” I teased, reaching for her hand. At least I got a small smile out of her. “Come on, are you not happy here anymore? Is being around me too hard for you?” I wiggled my eyebrows, only half-joking. “You want to tear my clothes off every time you see me, right?”

  “Stop it.” She laughed before withdrawing her hand and slapping my leg. “You’re not supposed to be able to make me laugh right now. I’m too stressed out.”

  “I’d be happy to come over later and give you a full body massage if the neck rub didn’t do the trick.”

  “Jace…” She drew a deep breath. “That can’t happen again. The sex. It’s over.”

  “Is there someone else?” I hadn’t seen Eddy the douchebag hanging around lately, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t seeing him outside of the bar like I’d asked. Or maybe she’d met someone new and she was afraid to tell me. Could that be the cause of her stress?

  “There’s no one else.”

  Thank God. “So, what’s the problem then?” I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

  “I was thinking maybe you were right, maybe I should sell you my half of the bar.”

  I felt like someone had sucker punched me. “What the hell, Cor? I thought you were dead set against that?”

  She shrugged. “I’ve been thinking about it and maybe it’s for the best.” She gestured from me to her. “This probably isn’t healthy. You and me working together.”

  “Bullshit. We’re a great team and you know it.” There was more to this sudden change of heart than she was letting on and I wasn’t going to let up until she clued me in.

  “We were a great team,” she said, sounding hesitant. “When we were a couple. But now that we’re not together anymore it’s just too hard to keep doing this. I know you agree with me.”

  No, I didn’t. The thought of not seeing Cor every day, or at all, made me wanna puke. “This is our baby. How can you bail on me now?”

  “This is not our baby,” she whispered, refusing to look at me. “This is our bar. A business to buy or sell.”

  “Since when?” I asked, still not convinced.

  “Since my priorities started to shift. I realized there are more important things in life than
trying to hang on to a business.”

  “Like what?”

  She sighed, sinking back in the chair. “Like taking care of myself, for one.”

  I immediately went on high alert. “What are saying? You haven’t been feeling well? Have you seen a doctor?” Now that she mentioned it she did look a little pale and she mentioned being tired. And she’d been lying low lately, keeping quiet. That wasn’t like her.

  “I’ve seen a doctor,” she said, biting her lip. “It’s nothing. I’m fine. I just, uh, need to take better care of myself. Eat better. Get more rest. Start taking some vitamins.”

  I glanced at the glass on the desk, the one I had yet to touch. “Here,” I said, thrusting it into her hand. “Take this. You need to just chill, relax a little.”

  “No!” She pushed it back into my hand. “This is the last thing I need right now.”

  “Cor,” I said, sighing. “You need to tell me what’s going on. Maybe I can help?”

  “You can’t,” she said, looking miserable. “I have to figure this one out on my own.” She stood, but leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. “But thanks for caring.”

  “Hey,” I said, grabbing her wrist before she could get away. “I’ll always care about you, baby. You know that.”

  She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around my neck, holding on tight. “You don’t know how much I needed that,” she whispered, when she finally pulled away and looked me in the eye. “Just to feel your arms around me, to lean on you, just for a minute…”

  “Remember,” I said, brushing my thumbs over her cheeks. “Anytime you need me, I’m right here.”

  She nodded before reaching for her purse. “I think we’re covered for tonight, so I’m just going to-” She covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes wide.

  I watched her run into the adjoining bathroom and listened to her lose her lunch. Man, she wasn’t kidding about needing a break from this place. She’d let herself get so rundown she’d actually gotten the flu, something that never happened.