Steele Brothers Christmas Read online

  “What you need,” she said, setting the box on the bed so she could curl her arms around my biceps, “is to figure out what’s wrong with you and how to make it right.”

  “But by then it’ll be too late for us.” Not that I had any faith in my ability to figure things out. If it had been that easy, I would have done it by now.

  “You can’t do this for us. You have to do it for you.”

  My lips were closer to hers than they’d been in a long time and my body was begging me for one more taste, one more memory to add to the scrapbook of our lives, our love. “But what if doing it for you, for us, it’s the only thing that can motivate me to do it at all?”

  She brushed her hands over the scruff on my cheeks as she looked me in the eye. “You deserve to be happy, and you can’t make anyone else happy until you figure out how to make yourself happy.”

  I knew she was right. Still, I was tempted to ask if there was any chance she would wait for me. Ultimately, I chickened out, turning my attention to the necklace instead. “Will you wear this? For me?”

  She touched her bare neck, where the necklace would rest if she agreed. “How would I explain it? It’s not the kind of piece that would go on unnoticed.”

  At a couple of carats, I didn’t expect it to. “Tell him the truth—that it was a birthday gift from me.”

  “How can I do that?” she asked, her eyes pleading for understanding.

  “How can you not, Ri?” I brushed my hand across her cheek. “I know you. You can’t go on living a lie with this guy. You don’t love him. You love me.”

  Another tear glided down her cheek, and I felt like a monster for putting her through this turmoil. “But I don’t know that I want to love you anymore.”

  I’d always admired Riley’s unwavering honesty. Even now. “Fair enough. But you can’t deny the truth. Break up with him.” I knew I was asking a lot, but I was prepared to give a lot in return. “Let’s try again.”

  She seemed to consider her options before she shook her head slowly. “Nothing’s changed. You’re still the same person you were when I broke up with you.”

  She was too kind to say it, but I knew she thought I’d gotten worse instead of better since then. I reached her left hand, kissing the bare knuckles. “As long as there’s no ring on this finger, I’ve still got a chance.”

  “Brody, don’t…”

  I leaned in, brushing my lips across her cheek. “Don’t stop loving you? Don’t worry, baby. I don’t intend to.”

  ***

  Riley

  I sat in the front pew, gazing up at the man I loved, wondering why it couldn’t have been us standing up there and preparing to deliver our vows. As much as I adored Nex and Jaci, I wanted my turn, and this time with Brody had only proved I couldn’t go on living a lie with Stephan. It wasn’t fair to him. It wasn’t fair to me.

  I watched Nex gazing down at his beautiful bride as the officiant invited her to recite her vows. I held my breath as I imagined what I would say to Brody if this was our wedding day.

  “I came to Tampa with a plan,” Jaci said, holding Nex’s hands. “And that didn’t include falling in love. But fate had other ideas. I met you and knew right away that you would change me. And you have…” She inhaled, the tremble obvious to those close enough to hear it. “In the best possible way. You encouraged me to follow my dreams. When I got off course, you were there to redirect me. When I questioned whether I had the right to be selfish, you assured me I did. You taught me to love myself as much as you love me.”

  My heart swelled at those simple words. I could relate. I’d been an insecure teenager when I met Brody, but I knew if he could love me that much, I must be special.

  “You’re my best friend, and I wake up every day feeling blessed that I get to spend my life loving you.”

  Brody’s eye caught mine and he swallowed repeatedly, clearly as affected by Jaci’s heartfelt words as I was.

  “I can only make you one promise as I stand up here today, Nex. That I will always be there for you. No matter what life throws at us, I’ll be by your side, holding your hand, reminding you that you’ll always have me. And praying to God that’s enough.”

  Nex’s eyes filled with tears as he brought her hands to his lips, kissing them.

  The officiant informed Nex it was his turn to speak, and I had a flash of a preteen cursing when he fell off his bike, hurting his pride more than his knees. I loved Brody’s brothers almost as much as I loved my own. They were my family, my friends, an important part of my life, and living without them had been one of the hardest parts of letting Brody go.

  “If someone had asked me whether I was ready to settle down before I met you,” Nex said, “I would have said no. I would have thought there were a million more experiences I wanted to have. But the first time I laid eyes on you, I knew I wanted to share those experiences with you.”

  A tear rolled down Jaci’s cheek, and Nex brushed it away tenderly.

  “There wasn’t a single doubt in my mind that we belonged together. My mother always told us when we found ‘the one,’ we’d know. We’d feel it. And I do. Every day that I get to wake up beside you, I feel the comfort of knowing I’m with the right person.”

  I closed my eyes when tears spilled down my cheeks. As a wedding planner, I’d attended hundreds of wedding over the years, but I’d never felt so raw or so conflicted.

  “And I know I’ll always feel that way.” He glanced up, catching Mackenzie’s eye as she stood behind Jaci, holding her red-and-white bouquet. “For years I watched what Ryker and Mac had, and there was a part of me that always questioned whether I would ever find a love like that. Whether it was even possible, or just a fluke. It’s the kind of love most people dream about but never find.”

  Brody stared directly at me, as though he was reminding me that we too had found the kind of love Nex was describing. I didn’t need to be reminded, not while I was trying to forget.

  “But I found that with you, and I thank God every day that I did. I may not be perfect, Jaci. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and I know I’ll make a hundred more. But there’s one thing I am—loyal to the people I love. I have never loved anyone more than I love you, and I can promise you, in front of the people that love us most, you will never have to question my love for you. You will never have to question whether I’ll be there for you. I will. Always.”

  I blew out the breath I’d been holding as I watched them exchange rings, then a kiss, and they turned to the crowd.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Steele,” I heard the officiant say, and my only thought as I looked at Brody was whether we would ever have a day like this.

  Chapter Ten

  Riley

  It was appropriate that on Christmas Eve, we’d been able to capture the magic in the glittering reception hall. I knew they’d hosted hundreds of weddings here, many during the holiday season, but there was something special about Nex and Jaci’s. Captivating and enchanting were words that came to mind as my eye wandered to the round tables circling the dance floor. The tables were covered in white, capped in red velvet, with garland wrapped around red roses and candles, and finished with shimmering red bulbs as the centerpiece.

  The head table was adorned in white, with red organza draped across the front and puddling on the floor at the either end. Massive floral arrangements were tucked in behind the head table, making the perfect backdrop for pictures of the bride and groom as they exchanged kisses.

  “You really outdid yourself,” Brody said, coming up behind me. “It looks incredible.”

  I was proud of my efforts, but with my emotions in turmoil, it was difficult to celebrate.

  “You’re wearing it,” he whispered.

  I knew he was referring to the necklace I’d paired with my simple black dress and heels. I’d taken it off and put it on several times before I finally left my room wearing it. “It’s beautiful,” I said, touching the diamond-encrusted piece. “Thank you.” I’d been so overwhelmed when he gave
it to me that I couldn’t even recall whether I’d thanked him properly.

  “My pleasure.” He stepped into my line of sight, where the bride and groom were enjoying their first dance as husband and wife. “Seeing my kid brother get married, knowing that he’s so much further along emotionally than I am…” He shook his head. “I don’t know, I guess it really hit me. I’ve got to get a handle on this thing. I’ve got to fix whatever the hell is wrong with me.”

  “Maybe there’s nothing wrong with you.” Brody had taught me a long time ago that you couldn’t change another person, nor could you help someone who didn’t want your help. “Maybe you just weren’t cut out to live the kind of life your brother wants. It’s not for everyone.”

  “Then why does it hurt so much?” he whispered fiercely. “The thought of living the rest of my life without you?”

  “I can’t answer that.” Only he could. “Maybe it’s because we were a part of each other’s lives for so long. We’d learned to depend on each other. And it’s hard to let go, to imagine not having each other to lean on.” Even though we’d been apart for a while, I still found myself reaching for the phone to call him whenever I had good or bad news to share.

  “I’ve tried to picture what my life without you would look like, and I can’t.” He sighed. “I sold the house because you were haunting it, you know.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at his claim. “I was haunting it?” I’d loved that house. I’d turned it from a house to a home when he bought it because I assumed we would eventually share it. Living there together as husband and wife, raising a family…

  “You were everywhere.” He grasped my arms, his voice low and intense. “On the couch when I was watching TV, in the bed when I was trying to sleep, in the kitchen when I was trying to eat. You were everywhere, and I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry.” His hands glided up and down my bare arms, leaving heat and longing in their wake. “I’m the one who should be sorry.”

  When the MC invited the wedding party to join the bride and groom on the dance floor, Brody offered me his hand, an unspoken question in his blue eyes.

  I accepted, knowing this might be the last time we ever danced together.

  He held me for a few seconds before he whispered, “God, I’ve missed this, just holding you like this.”

  I’d missed it too. Nothing felt better than being in Brody’s arms. But I didn’t tell him that. I couldn’t.

  “Tell me it isn’t over for us, Ri. Please. I need to hear you say it.”

  “May I cut in?”

  Certain my ears were playing tricks on me, I turned toward the sound of the voice. Stephan. Oh. My. God. “What are you doing here?” I whispered, stepping out of Brody’s arms.

  Stephan glanced at my ex-boyfriend. “I was invited, remember?”

  “But I thought you couldn’t make it?” My heart was battering my chest as my current and former lovers stared each other down like predator and prey, one getting ready to strike while the other prepared to defend himself.

  “It wouldn’t have been much of a surprise if I’d told you I was coming.” He reached for my hand. “That’s why I didn’t send your gift. Because I wanted to give it to you in person.”

  I rubbed my forehead as I felt a headache gaining momentum. “I think I need to sit down.”

  “Dance with me,” Stephan said, reaching for my hand. “Please.”

  Before I could respond, Brody muttered, “I need air.”

  I watched him stalk out of the room as a few curious eyes followed him. “I still can’t believe you’re here,” I said to Stephan. “You really should have told me you were coming.” If for no other reason than so the caterers could have prepared for another guest. And I could have prepared myself for the shock of seeing him here, in the same room as Brody.

  “Why do I get the feeling you’re not thrilled?”

  I felt guilty for my reaction, especially since I knew what he’d sacrificed to be here with me. “I’m sorry.” Settling into his arms, trying not to draw comparisons between the way it felt to be held by him and Brody, I said, “You just caught me off guard.”

  “It looked like things were pretty intense with your ex. I guess I showed up just in time.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, tipping my head back to look at him.

  “Who knows where a few glasses of wine might have led?” he said, his grip tightening around my waist. “Up to his room would be my guess.”

  My body tightened in response to his accusation. “Are you saying you think I’m cheating on you?”

  “You’re only human, Riley,” he said, obviously trying to placate me. “I know you have a lot of history with the guy. And he’s clearly using that to wear you down. He’s not ready to let you go, even though he can’t give you what you need.”

  I wanted to argue with him, to defend Brody, but Stephan wasn’t saying anything I hadn’t thought, so how could I? “I don’t want to talk about Brody.” I couldn’t, not without breaking down and telling him I was having second thoughts about our relationship and whether I could ever feel about anyone the way I had about my first love.

  “Neither do I,” he said, holding me just a little too tight for comfort, as though he feared letting me go. “I want to talk about us. Our future.”

  Scrambling to think of some way out, I finally said, “I don’t think that’s appropriate. We’re here to celebrate Jaci and Nex’s wedding. This night is about them.”

  Frowning, Stephan said, “Does that mean we can’t have a conversation that doesn’t revolve around them?”

  When one song led into another, I was grateful when Ryker’s eye caught mine and he started heading toward us.

  “Mind if I cut in?” Ryker asked Stephan.

  Before he could object, I said, “Stephan, this is Ryker Steele. He’s the groom’s brother.”

  “I know who he is,” Stephan said, reluctantly shaking Ryker’s hand. “I’ve seen you on TV a few times, delivering bikes to celebrity clients.”

  Ryker laughed, ignoring the obvious tension surrounding us. “I never wanted to be the celebrity in the family. I’d just as soon leave that to Seb. Or I guess Brody, in some circles.”

  I could tell Stephan was barely suppressing an eye roll when he shoved his hands in his pockets. “I think I’ll grab us some drinks while you two dance. Enjoy.”

  With a shaky sigh, I watched him walk away as I slipped into Ryker’s arms. “Thanks for saving me. I needed a few minutes to collect myself.”

  “Then you weren’t expecting him?” Ryker asked, his gaze following Stephan to the bar.

  “No, I had no idea he was coming.”

  “And now that he’s here, how do you feel?”

  Ryker and I had had some great talks while I was dating Brody. Sometimes he was the only person who could help me make sense of his brother, so it felt natural to confide in him now. “Honestly? I’m not sure how I feel. I knew coming here would stir up a lot of feelings. But I hoped it would provide closure too.”

  “And it hasn’t done that?”

  I watched Stephan checking his phone as he sipped on a glass of red wine. He was a good-looking man. Intelligent. Kind. If only he made my heart race the way Brody did when he walked into a room.

  “No, I’m afraid not.”

  “Maybe you’re putting too much pressure on yourself,” Ryker suggested. “Who says you have to figure everything out right now?”

  I smiled to let him know I appreciated his effort to make me feel better. “I know I’m not old, but I’m not getting any younger either. I feel like I’ve been waiting forever for my life to start.”

  “Because you’ve been waiting so long for Brody to realize he wants the same things you do?”

  Hearing Ryker say it aloud made me realize how unfair I was being to both Brody and myself. I had no right to expect him to change, and I had no desire to sacrifice my happiness so he could follow his. �
��I know it’s time to let him go,” I said, forcing a smile as Mac and Nex danced past us. “I thought I had a long time ago, but…”

  “It’s hard to let go,” Ryker said, kissing my temple. “I know, sweetheart. Sometimes I think my brother is his own worst enemy, and that’s never been truer than it is now.”

  We settled in to another dance, Ryker lost in his thoughts while my gaze drifted to Brody, who’d reentered the room. Our eyes locked, and everyone and everything else ceased to exist. It was just the two of us, as it had always been.

  “He clearly loves you,” Ryker whispered.

  “Who? Brody?” My heart raced at the possibility that Ryker may have seen what I so desperately wanted to believe.

  Ryker chuckled. “I suspect my brother will always love you. But this time I was talking about your doctor friend.”

  “Oh.” My cheeks flamed at my mistake as I realized Stephan was as fixated on us as Brody was.

  “What are you going to do about your dilemma, Riley?”

  I tipped my head back to look at him, trying to ignore the fact that he looked so much like his brother it pained me to look at him sometimes. “What do you think I should do?”

  He shook his head. “You know I can’t answer that. I don’t know what’s in your heart.”

  Brody. He’s in my heart. Always has been. Always will be. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure. Anything.”

  “Do you believe there’s only one person for everyone? You know, one person we were meant to be with?”

  Air seeped between Ryker’s lips before he finally said, “That’s a tough one. I can’t imagine being with anyone other than Mac.”

  “And if you couldn’t have her…?”

  “I guess I’d rather be alone than settle.”

  I rolled forward on my toes to kiss his cheek as the song came to an end. “Thanks, Ryker. You’ve helped me a lot.”