Deacon (Starkis Family #1) Read online

  “Deacon, no, stop.” She flattened her palms against my chest. “I can’t have marks on me—the show.”

  Of course, she was right. It was juvenile of me to want to mark her in such a crass way. Even as a teenager, I hadn’t engaged in such tasteless behavior, but something about Mia made me want to claim her in the most basic way. “Hmmm, I know. You’re right.” I peeled off her tank top, reaching for the buttons on her shorts.

  “Wait,” she said, grasping my wrists. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

  I smiled, cradling her beautiful face. I felt like the luckiest man in the world. Not because my family was one of the wealthiest in the world or because the business I’d built from the ground up was one of the most profitable retailers in the country. She made me feel lucky.

  “I want you, Mia. More than I’ve ever wanted anything. But not now.”

  She looked surprised and a little hurt. “Not now?”

  “I’ve been thinking about this a long time. No way will our first time be bent over my desk, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to pleasure you, to give you a taste of what’s to come.”

  “Oh…” Her tongue slid across her lush lower lip.

  “Don’t think. Just relax and enjoy.” I unfastened her shorts and pushed them over her hips. “Kick them aside.” I waited for her to comply.

  She wore hot pink lace panties, a pair I recognized from our last collection.

  “I’m going to make you feel things you’ve never felt before,” I whispered as I nudged her feet apart with mine. “I’m going to own your body and control your pleasure.”

  Just as she was about to protest, I slipped my hand inside her panties and circled her engorged nub with my thumb. She was more than ready, and I had no doubt that with some gentle prodding, she would go off like a rocket.

  “You like that, don’t you, my love?”

  She didn’t respond, nor did she have to. I saw it in the way her eyes drifted closed as her head rolled back in the ultimate act of surrender.

  “Beautiful, so beautiful.” Watching her enjoy the pleasure I gave took my breath away. “Brace your hands on the desk behind you and spread your legs wider.”

  She looked down at her flushed body and heaving breasts, probably thinking she looked wanton and desperate. She was oblivious to how stunning she was. “I don’t think we should be doing this here.” Her eyes flicked to the door. “What if someone walks in?”

  I was amused by her concern. No one other than her would dare enter my private quarters without knocking, but I would validate her fear and put her mind at ease. Anything to make her believe that I would put her first—always.

  Crossing to the door, I turned the lock. “Better?”

  “I, uh, guess so.”

  “I told you, you have nothing to fear. Do you trust me?”

  “I think so,” she whispered.

  “I will not make love to you tonight. This is all about your pleasure, about me getting to know you better.” Before long, I would know her body better than she did. “Okay?”

  “Okay.” Her teeth sank into her bottom lip before her eyes scanned my body from head to toe. “You have too many clothes on.”

  I treated her to a smile. “If I take my clothes off now, I won’t be able to honor the promise I made to you, and I always honor my promises. Especially to you.”

  Her eyes softened, and I could tell I was earning her trust. She wasn’t a woman to trade love and sex for material things. She gave freely, but only when she was in love, and for me, the reward would be worth the wait.

  I reached into the pen dispenser behind her and grabbed a pair of scissors. She watched as I glided the blade down her chest, between her breasts, and over her stomach. Her breath hitched when I reached her hip and kept going.

  “This relationship is about trust,” I whispered, snipping the lace stretched across one of her hips before moving to the other. “You did as I asked by keeping our communication a secret for months, not even telling your best friend. That must have been difficult for you, but you proved to me that I can trust you. Now I’m going to prove that you can trust me.”

  “I’m afraid to trust you completely.” She looked so vulnerable, her blue eyes radiant and filled with untold emotions. “There’s so much about you I don’t know, but what I do know scares me.”

  I stepped back, trying not to get distracted by her perfection. This was an important conversation, one we had to have before we took our relationship to the next level. Without her trust, I had nothing. “Tell me what you’re afraid of.”

  “I’m afraid I’ll fall for you and you’ll break my heart.”

  More than anything, I wanted to hold her and tell her that would never happen, but only time would prove my sincerity to her. “What’s the alternative?”

  “To leave here now and spend the rest of my life wondering what might have been.” Her hands were still planted on the desk behind her, her firm breasts jutting out to tease me.

  “Can you live with that?” I crossed my arms as I tried to resist temptation. “Can you live with the regret?”

  “No,” she said, shaking her head slowly.

  “Then what do you plan to do?”

  She seemed to consider her options. “I guess I don’t have a choice.”

  “You always have a choice. No one is holding you here against your will.”

  If she tried to leave, I would use every trick in my arsenal to convince her to stay though.

  “I know that.”

  “But you need to understand something.” I paused to ensure I had her undivided attention. “Although I do not intend to make love to you tonight, I will give you pleasure with the expectation that you are mine. Exclusively. I don’t share. Ever. Is that understood?”

  She met my eyes with a flash of defiance, followed closely by submission. “Yes.”

  “I will never again hear you utter nonsense about ‘dating other people’?” I used air quotes to accentuate the words I had found so absurd. She’d actually suggested I share her. Never. Going. To. Happen. “You will date me. You will make love to me. And only me. Yes?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good.” I smiled to let her know I was pleased. “Now, where were we?” I closed the distance between us, but just as I was about to touch her, she grabbed my wrist.

  “Is this how it’s going to be? You withhold pleasure until I bend to your will? You use sex, my own body, as a weapon against me?”

  I peeled her fingers off my wrist, my expression unyielding. “I am not withholding pleasure. I am merely setting the terms for our arrangement so there is no confusion about what either of us expects from the other.”

  “You’ve talked a lot about what you expect from me, but you’ve never assured me I can expect the same from you.”

  “A mere oversight on my part.” I brushed my body against hers, taunting her as my soft cotton shirt teased her nipples into hard peaks. “I assure you I will not share myself with anyone else.” She shuddered involuntarily, pleasing me immeasurably. “My body is yours for the taking. As is my heart.” I’d never said that to another woman, and she seemed to understand the significance of it.

  Her wide eyes captured mine. “You’re saying everything I want to hear, but—”

  “You still doubt me.” I skimmed her high cheekbones with my lips. “I understand. If I were you, I would have doubts too. Only time will prove I do mean what I say. With each day, you will trust me a little more until finally you won’t be able to remember a time when you didn’t trust me with your life.”

  “With my life?” she asked, seeming surprised. “I don’t know that I could trust anyone with my life.”

  Tracing an index finger over the ridges and planes of her body, I said, “I don’t believe that. I think you trust Eleni with your life… your parents, your brother? No?”

  “I guess you’re right.” Her breath hitched as my finger traced a line from one hip bone to the other. “But I always assumed it wo
uld be different with a lover.”

  “Ah, but I will be more than your lover.” I slid my finger between her slick folds, back and forth, at a leisurely pace until her breath came in short bursts. “I will be your husband, the father of your children, your family.”

  She choked out a laugh as I eased one finger, then another, inside her tight channel. “You’re crazy, Starkis. You don’t even know me.”

  “I do know you, better than I know almost anyone.” I inhaled deeply, relishing the musky scent of her arousal. “You’ve shared personal things with me: secrets, fears, hopes, dreams. Few people know you as well as I do, and I don’t take the time to get to know most people as well as I have you.”

  “You expect me to carry on a conversation when you’re doing that?” She whimpered, biting her lip as she tilted her head back and closed her eyes.

  “God, you’re so gorgeous. You take my breath away.” That sounded like a cheesy line, but I had no other words to describe the way she made me feel.

  “You’re doing a pretty good job of taking mine away too.” She rolled her head around, resting her chin on her chest. “Oh God, that feels so incredible.”

  “Let go for me.”

  Without any further prompting, she exploded, tensing around my fingers as her whole body trembled.

  “Beautiful.” I loved that she took instruction when necessary and questioned me when she felt compelled to do so. I wanted to introduce her to pleasure unlike anything she’d ever experienced. I wanted to take care of her. But I wasn’t looking for a submissive woman.

  I knelt in front of her, prying her legs apart when she seemed inclined to close them. “Open for me, sweetheart. I need to see you, to taste you. I’ve been waiting so long for this.”

  “It’s too soon, Deacon.” She reached for my shoulder.

  I gave her a pointed look. “Hands behind your back. Don’t move them until I tell you to.”

  Her sex was seeping, and I was harder than I’d ever been, but I would try to prolong my own gratification. I’d never been restrained before, but I wanted our first time together to be special. I’d waited this long; I could wait a few more days. Even if it killed me.

  Flicking my tongue over her swollen bud, I held her hips firmly when she bucked, trying to resist me.

  “Hold still, or I’ll put you over my knee.” I wasn’t kidding, and the fight drained from her body. I relished the sight and smell of her, letting her test the limits of my control. I nipped at her before swirling my tongue through her slickness in a languid, never-ending loop.

  “Jesus, Deacon… keep that up, and I’m gonna pass out.”

  I loved turning her inside out because she was doing the same to me, and I was still fully clothed. I used my tongue leisurely, taking my time to enjoy her, until I could tell she was on the verge again.

  Within seconds, she released an urgent cry I wished I could have captured with my mouth. But I couldn’t tear myself away from the sweet essence flooding past my lips. I licked her beyond the point of pleasure until she teetered on the edge of insanity, desperate for me to stop but feeling helpless, without an escape.

  I stood, capturing her face in my hands before I locked eyes with her and plundered her mouth. The kiss was slow and sweet, my way of thanking her for trusting me with her body. It was a gift I never intended to take for granted.

  “Let me,” she said, reaching for my belt buckle.

  “Not tonight, my sweet.” The thought of her going down on me almost prompted me to table my plans, but I couldn’t. She was too important. “We’ll have plenty of time for that. I promise.”

  “When?” she asked, pouting. “I want you.”

  I felt as if I’d waited forever to hear those three little words from her luscious lips. Dozens of women had said them to me, but none had ever elicited the unfamiliar aching sensation in my chest that accompanied her words. “I want you too, more than you know, but we have to be patient. The wait will be so worth it. You have my word.”

  Chapter Seven

  Mia

  “So that’s it?” Eleni sounded disappointed. “He didn’t even let you suck his—”

  “Nope.” I was lying on El’s couch later, curled up in the fetal position. When I had returned to pick up Rosie, she invited me to stay. She’d claimed if her date was a bust, I’d make a good excuse for not inviting him up.

  “That is so weird,” she said, filing her nails. “It doesn’t sound like him at all.”

  “Maybe the stories you’ve heard about him are exaggerated.” I so wanted them to be. I didn’t want to believe Deacon was as cruel and heartless as his former lovers claimed. I wasn’t naïve enough to believe he was a nice guy, but I wanted him to have a modicum of decency. Otherwise our arrangement would come to an abrupt end in the not-too-distant future.

  “Or maybe he’s just different with you than he was with those other girls,” Eleni said.

  “I don’t know.” I sighed. “He said some pretty weird shit to me tonight. I don’t know whether he was serious or not. For all I know, he may say stuff like that to every girl he’s trying to get into bed.”

  Eleni sat up straighter. “What kind of stuff? Tell me. Word for word.”

  Being able to share everything with my best friend again was nice, especially since I needed someone who could be more objective than I could where the boss man was concerned. “He said he didn’t want me dating anyone else.”

  Eleni rolled her eyes. “Duh. You really thought that control freak would be willing to share you?”

  “I guess not.” I didn’t feel comfortable telling her what he’d said verbatim, but I needed her input to know whether I was reading too much into it. “He kind of indicated he was looking for a more permanent arrangement. You think he was just saying that to get me into bed?”

  Eleni laughed. “You really think that guy needs to work for it?”

  It bothered me that female companionship came so easily to him, probably because I knew what I would be up against if our relationship ever did get serious.

  “Hey,” Eleni said, leaning forward to look me in the eye, “I don’t mean to bum you out. This is the most exciting thing that’s happened to either one of us in… ever. I say you should just have fun with it. Don’t overanalyze it. Don’t expect too much, but don’t be too guarded either. Let him in, but protect your heart. Don’t let him hurt you.”

  I was worried that if I let him in, I wouldn’t be able to protect my heart. Every time I saw or spoke to him, it seemed as if he stole another little piece of it. “I’ll try, but—”

  My cell phone vibrated on the coffee table as Deacon’s name flashed across the screen.

  “Oh, it’s him!” Eleni squealed as she clapped. “He misses you already. Okay, I’m going to go have bubbles, but I want to hear everything he said when I get out, okay?”

  “Sure.” My heart thudded as I answered his call. I heard Eleni’s feet padding down the hallway as I said, “Hey, Deacon. What’s up?”

  “Where the hell are you?”

  I held the phone away from my ear and stared at the screen. Yup, it was him, but he sounded nothing like the sexy, composed man I’d left a few hours earlier. “Well, hello to you too, lover.” It wasn’t a good idea to bait him when he was in a mood, but I couldn’t help myself.

  “You ditched your bodyguard so you could go where…?” The steely calm was back in his voice. Damn, he was hot, even when he was mad at me.

  “Oh, so you heard I introduced myself to Nate tonight? He is such a sweetheart. And so sexy.” No doubt about it, the next time I saw him, he would be putting me over his knee. Yum. “My God, those shoulders and that tight ass—”

  “Don’t. I’m not playing.”

  Something in his voice told me I couldn’t push him any further, so I sighed in resignation. “I spotted some guy parked outside your building when I left. He was in a black sedan with tinted windows. I figured that must have been your guy, so I hopped in the passenger’s seat.”

>   “You did what?”

  “Oh, he didn’t tell you that part, huh?” I hoped Deacon didn’t have an issue with high blood pressure. If he did, my teasing may prompt him to stroke out. “Yeah, I hopped in, and we had a nice chat. I asked him about his life, told him about mine, and then I told him to take the rest of the night off.”

  “He works for me, not you.”

  “But he’s guarding my body.”

  “Maybe I need to rethink that.”

  “You can’t!” Jumping to Nate’s defense wouldn’t help his cause, but I had to make my obsessive freak see reason. My obsessive freak? Since when had I decided that? Must have been when he’d had his head buried between my legs and refused to come up for air. “His mother’s in the hospital. He’s working two jobs to pay her medical bills.”

  “How the hell do you know that?”

  “I told you I asked him about his life and told him about mine.”

  “I don’t like this. I hired a bodyguard to watch your back, not your ass.”

  “Oh, please.” I told myself his Neanderthal act would get old in a hurry, but at the moment, it was kind of flattering. “He’s a nice guy. If he’s going to be tailing me, we may as well be friends.”

  “You don’t have to be friends with him.” Deacon sounded exasperated. “You don’t even have to talk to him or look at him. In fact, I’d prefer if you didn’t.”

  “Too bad. I like him, and I’ve decided we’re going to be friends.” I knew a relationship with Deacon would be all about concessions, with me making most of them, but I had to stand my ground sometimes. This seemed as good a time as any.

  “Maybe I’ve decided to fire him before you can get too close.”

  “You think that would stop me from being friends with him? Ha. You don’t know me as well as you think you do, Starkis. Go ahead. Fire him. Then I’ll bust my butt to help him find another job.”

  “You are the most infuriating woman I’ve ever met.” He heaved a sigh. “Care to tell me how you convinced him to take the rest of the night off?”

  “He said he hadn’t been able to visit his mother for nearly three weeks because he’d been working so many hours. So I told him to go see her tonight. I assured him I would hop in a cab and go straight home.”