Deacon (Starkis Family #1) Read online

  “But you didn’t go straight home. So I’ll ask again—where the hell are you?”

  “How do you know I didn’t go home?” I sat up, looking around the small apartment. I half-expected to see him scaling Eleni’s balcony. Yes, he was that crazy.

  “I stopped by your place, and you weren’t there.”

  “Why did you stop by?”

  “I had a change of heart about waiting,” he said, lowering his voice. “After you left, I couldn’t get you out of my head. I needed to be with you.”

  My heart melted because I knew he wasn’t accustomed to admitting neediness. I decided to put him out of his misery. “I’m really sorry I missed you, baby. I came back to El’s to pick up Rosie, and she asked me to crash here. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

  “Say that again.”

  I frowned. “Which part?”

  “‘Baby.’ Say that again.”

  I smiled at the way the endearment rolled around his tongue. His accent was so delicious that I could have gotten off just listening to his voice.

  “Baby.”

  He groaned. “What the hell are you doing to me? Before I met you, I was perfectly sane—”

  I masked my laugh with a cough. “Sorry, but there’s no way you’re going to convince me you were sane or normal. You’re a sexy, obsessive, gorgeous control freak with an obscene amount of money. There is nothing normal about you.”

  He chuckled. “Touché. Come to my place, sweetheart. Spend the night with me.”

  This was all happening so fast my head was spinning. My boyfriend had just moved out, and my boss was asking me to become his lover. How weird was that?

  “I can’t.” I smiled when he grunted. For all of his sophistication, he often behaved like a petulant child, and I found that strangely endearing. “Sorry, but Eleni asked me first. You’ll just have to wait your turn.”

  “Have you two ever…?”

  It took me a minute to realize what he was asking. “What? God, no! You can’t be serious.”

  He laughed. “Calm down. I was just asking.”

  “Were you hoping we had?”

  “No way. Then I’d have to worry about her pleasuring you instead of me. I told you I don’t intend to share you with anyone.”

  “You’re crazy.”

  “Yeah, about you.”

  “I have to get some sleep now.”

  “Have dinner with me tomorrow night,” he said.

  “I can’t. My brother’s in town, and I haven’t seen him in six months.”

  “Invite him to dinner with us. I’d love to meet him.”

  I could imagine my brother’s reaction to the news that I was dating my boss only days after breaking up with my boyfriend. Chad had never been Drew’s biggest fan, but I suspected he would have serious issues with Deacon’s jealous streak, not to mention his history with women.

  “It’s too soon. He doesn’t even know I broke up with Drew yet.”

  “Ugh, don’t mention his name to me.” After a beat, Deacon asked, “Did he give you a hard time when he came to get his things?”

  “I wasn’t there.”

  “Smart girl. Okay, you can’t have dinner with me tomorrow night. How about Friday?”

  “Sorry, no can do. It’s a girls’ night. We planned it weeks ago.”

  “A girls’ night? I’m not sure I like the sound of that.”

  “I can invite Nate into the bar to chaperone if that would make you feel better,” I said as a slow grin spread across my face. I was going to have so much fun teasing Deacon. Maybe Eleni was right. Maybe I was a bad girl.

  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he growled. “Who are you going out with?”

  “Just me and Eleni and a few of the girls from work.”

  “You mean some of the other models? Who?” He sounded nervous, which led me to believe he had more to hide than he was letting on.

  “Melanie, Christie, and Edie.”

  “Shit, Mia, I don’t want you going out with them!”

  “Why not?” I asked, getting the sinking feeling I’d be smart to let it go.

  “Because I don’t want…” He slowly released a breath. “I don’t want them talking to you about me.”

  “Why would they?” When he didn’t respond, I felt queasy. “Have you been with all of them?” His silence spoke volumes. “Oh my God, I don’t believe this.”

  “Sweetheart, listen to me—”

  “I have to go.” I hung up before he could finish.

  I knew he would call right back, which he did. I turned my phone off and slipped it under the throw pillow I’d stuck under my head as I slid down the couch. I tugged the faux-fur throw over me, and that was how Eleni found me a few minutes later.

  Her cell phone rang, and I grabbed her wrist before she could answer it.

  “If it’s him, please don’t answer it.”

  Eleni frowned at the screen. “It is him, but why is he calling me?”

  “Because I hung up on him and turned my phone off.” I rolled onto my back, flinging an arm over my eyes.

  “You realize my address is in my personnel file, right? He’s probably gonna show up here if you don’t answer.”

  “Shit, I hadn’t thought of that.” I couldn’t escape him. He’d slowly infiltrated every part of my life.

  “What happened? Why don’t you want to talk to him?”

  “He told me he’s slept with Mel, Edie, and Christie.” Just thinking about it put a sour taste in my mouth. Yuck. He’d slept with three of my friends.

  “So? You already knew he was a man-whore.”

  An apt description, but how could I convince myself a man-whore could be faithful, or that he would even want to? Maybe he was looking for a more permanent arrangement for a reason, like family pressure or to enhance his public image. Hell, maybe he had political aspirations. Perhaps having a wife would just make his life easier. He’d make me fall in love with him and marry him. Then he’d set me up in some mansion to wait for him to come home while he was out sticking it in anything with a pulse.

  “I can see the wheels turning.” Eleni sat at the end of the couch and put my feet in her lap. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  “This doesn’t make any sense. He wasted so much time pursuing me with the emails and gifts…” I sighed. “Why? Why would he do that? Like you said, he has no problem attracting women. Why would he go after one with a boyfriend?”

  “You’re thinking it was just a game to him?” Eleni asked. “He wanted to see if he could lure you away from Drew?”

  “What if it was?” I scrambled to sit up. “What if he’s just some sick freak who gets off on manipulating women?”

  Eleni tapped my thigh a few times with her palm before she said, “If he was the reason you broke up with Drew, I owe him big-time.”

  “He wasn’t. I broke up with Drew because it just wasn’t working anymore.”

  The last year of my relationship played out in my mind—the things Drew had done and said, the fights we’d had—and I wondered why I hadn’t ended the relationship sooner. Comfort. Security. Fear.

  “I have no regrets about that.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.” Eleni leaned her head against my shoulder as she claimed part of the throw. “But can you honestly say your decision had nothing to do with Deacon?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe it did, but it was the right decision. I have no doubt about that.”

  “So maybe that’s the reason Deacon came into your life—to help you see that you had no future with Drew.”

  Eleni subscribed to the theory that everything happened for a reason and no one entered your life without some pre-determined plan contrived by the cosmic gods of fate.

  “You really think that’s the only reason?” I was doubtful.

  “Maybe that and to help put you in touch with your sexuality.” She giggled. “I keep telling you there’s a naughty girl inside you begging to come out and play. If anyone can lure her out, that man can.�
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  “I don’t know if I’m up for his games.” It wasn’t that I was a prude. Granted I hadn’t experimented much because Drew had been my only lover and the very definition of vanilla, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t curious about how the other half lived. I pictured myself being led around some sex club while wearing a collar, and I shuddered. “I’m never going to be one of those submissive women. If that’s what he thinks, he’s wasting his time with me.”

  Eleni’s phone rang again, and she rolled her eyes when I shook my head frantically. “You don’t know that’s what he’s looking for. Just because he had that kind of relationship with the others—”

  “Hold it,” I said, gripping El’s knee. “Are you telling me you know for a fact this guy turned our friends into his submissives?”

  Eleni squirmed under my incredulous stare. “No one has actually used that word to describe him. Let’s just say his controlling nature carries over into the bedroom.”

  That was no surprise given our earlier encounter. I’d never thought he was one of those closet submissive guys who ruled with an iron fist in the board room but got off on surrendering control in the bedroom. Being dominant was in his nature, but that didn’t mean I wanted to be dominated. Did I? Before I could voice my concerns, someone pounded on the door.

  “I told you so,” Eleni muttered.

  “Wait,” I said, grabbing her arm. “You can’t let him in.”

  She tried to shake me off. “I have to. You know my landlady lives just down the hall, and she’s a real tight-ass about noise late at night. Besides, the guy’s my boss, and I can’t afford to lose my job. Especially not with my latte addiction.”

  I tried to smile at her lame joke, but my stomach was all tied up in knots. I was angry with him for thinking he could strong-arm his way into my safe zone and intimidate my best friend. I was angry with myself for having mixed feelings about seeing him again. I tried to beat down the anticipation, but it was too strong, too overpowering.

  “I am so sorry to trouble you so late at night, Elenitsa.”

  I looked up at the mention of my best friend’s given name. He had done his homework. What else did he know about my loved ones?

  “What are you doing here, Deacon?” I wrapped the blanket around my shoulders as I tore my eyes away from him to focus on the Big Bang rerun on the flat screen. “I thought I made it clear I don’t want to talk to you.”

  He smiled at El, ignoring me. “I don’t mean to make this awkward for you, but I really do need to speak to Mia. It can’t wait.” He passed her a key ring, and her eyes widened when she saw the Lamborghini logo. “Would you mind giving us some time? The car is all gassed up. Take it for a spin.”

  “Are you serious?” she asked, gripping the key fob tightly, as though she feared he might change his mind.

  “Of course.” He smiled indulgently. “Have fun.”

  “Okay. Thanks.”

  I glared at my friend’s back as she collected clothes and headed back into the bathroom to change. “I wish you would leave.”

  “Not until we have a chance to talk.”

  Rosie danced around Deacon’s feet. Surprisingly, she didn’t jump up on his leg, begging to be petted, the way she did with most people. She was probably waiting for his permission. Typical female.

  He crouched down and scratched her under the chin with a soft smile. “This must be the infamous Rosie.”

  I tried to look the other way when he tucked the little white furball under his arm and continued stroking her. My delighted Rosie licked his hand in complete adoration.

  Little traitor, no more chew sticks for you!

  He waited until Eleni was out of the apartment before he set Rosie down and glared at me with his hands on his hips. “Don’t do that again!”

  “I don’t take orders from you!” I refused to tear my eyes away from the screen. I was sure if I did, he would be glaring daggers at me. “Are you a Dominant?” I gave in to the temptation to sneak a peek.

  My question had clearly caught him off guard. The hard set of his angled jaw had softened to the point it was almost slack, evidence of his disbelief at my gall perhaps. “Would it be a deal-breaker if I were?”

  “Yes.” Would it? I liked to think so, but nothing was a sure thing where he was concerned. “So are you?”

  “No.” He seemed to consider his next words carefully. “I guess it depends on your definition of a Dom. I like to be in control in the bedroom. I like women who aren’t afraid to submit to seeking pleasure, who trust me to take care of them. I don’t need the kink, but I am very specific about the partners I seek.”

  I was mortified when hot tears pricked my eyes. “Is that why you chose Mel, Christie, and Edie? Because they fit the mold?” I wouldn’t look at him. I couldn’t. If I did, he’d see the effect the conversation was having on me, and I refused to give him the upper hand.

  “You’re crying,” he said softly. He sat beside me, drawing the blanket away so I was exposed to him.

  I’d borrowed a tank and a pair of yoga shorts from Eleni, but he made me feel naked. “I’m not crying.” The emotion clogging my voice made a liar of me. There was no logical reason I should have been so upset. So he was a reputed man-whore who’d banged most of my friends. Why should I care? I hadn’t even slept with the man. Nor would I now that I knew the truth. Maybe that was why I was crying.

  He kissed my palm as his eyes locked with mine. “I’m sorry my actions have hurt you. That was never my intent.” His apology seemed so heartfelt and was so unexpected that it only added to my turmoil.

  “You don’t owe me an explanation or an apology. You can live your life however you see fit. If sleeping with countless women makes you feel like more of a man, knock yourself out.”

  “Watch it, Mia.” His steely tone drew my attention. “I’m furious you shut me out tonight. I’m trying to cut you some slack because I can see that you’re upset, but don’t make the mistake of thinking you can push me too far.”

  I tried to withdraw my hand, but he refused to let it go. “I just don’t understand what you want from me. I’m not like those girls. I’m not experienced or easy. I’m not into casual sex or experimentation. I’m just an ordinary girl looking for a nice guy who treats me with respect.”

  He cradled my hand in his lap as he shifted his body to face me. “There is nothing ordinary about you, theia. That is the reason I must have you. There is something about you, something so special, that I have not found in anyone else. I can’t describe it. I just feel it.”

  I tried to deny that his words had hit their mark and softened my anger, but it was pointless. He was wearing me down.

  “I am not a nice man,” he said almost reluctantly. “I can be cruel, even heartless. I don’t give people second chances, nor do I tolerate stupidity. I expect a lot from myself and those around me, but I’m willing to give a lot in return.”

  I had no doubt he spoke the truth, which I appreciated because I knew it wasn’t easy for him to be so open. I slowly met his gaze. “What do you expect from me?”

  “Fidelity. Honesty. Respect. Love.” He responded so quickly I knew he’d been thinking about it for some time.

  “And what will you give me?”

  His lips curved into a slow smile. “Anything you could ever want.”

  He was referring to material things, which incensed me. How could he not know that wouldn’t impress me? I was more interested in his heart than his bank account.

  “Can you give me what you’re asking of me? Fidelity, honesty, respect, and love?”

  He considered his response. “I will try.”

  “That’s not good enough.”

  He squeezed my hand harder. “You don’t make this easy for me.”

  “Isn’t that what sets me apart from all the others?” I enjoyed the shift in his demeanor when I challenged him. “Isn’t that what you like about me, that I don’t make it easy for you? If I did, you’d move on to the next conquest.”

 
; His eyes narrowed. “That’s really what you think?”

  “I have no doubt.”

  He stoked my cheek with his free hand. “You are wrong. So wrong. But I understand why you feel that way. You are smart to be cautious. We’re just getting to know each other, but soon it will be obvious to you that you can trust me. With your life.”

  The way he said that sent a chill up my spine. Would there ever come a time when I would willingly put my life in his hands? I thought of sex games that involved choking and wondered if he would ever demand that level of trust from me just to get off.

  “You want to talk about the other women. Yes?”

  No! I didn’t want to even think about him having sex with other women. If he were just some random guy I was dating, his former lovers wouldn’t even have crossed my mind. But Deacon had slept with my friends, and I knew the topic would come up when they found out I was dating him.

  “What drew you to them?” I asked, mentally punching out the jealousy rearing her ugly head.

  “I was drawn to each of them for different reasons.” He stroked my hand, looking thoughtful. “Obviously they are all very beautiful, but—”

  “Stop!” I raised my free hand, shaking my head. “I don’t want to hear any more. I thought I did, but I don’t. Just tell me this: did you love any of them? Was it serious?” I frowned when he looked confused. “Did you pursue any of them the way you pursued me?”

  He threw his head back and laughed as though my intent had been to amuse him. “I have never pursued anyone the way I’ve pursued you. That’s not to say I haven’t sent the odd woman a bouquet of flowers to thank her for a nice date or given a lover a birthday gift out of obligation, but I have never, ever taken so much time to get to know someone.”

  I was somewhat relieved that his past relationships hadn’t been serious, but I didn’t know how I would feel seeing my friends tomorrow night since I knew about their pasts with Deacon. Would I look at them and imagine them having sex with him? How could I not?

  “Still, that doesn’t put your mind at ease, does it?”