Fast & Loud Read online

  “Must have been tough,” he said, running his hand over my head and down my back.

  “It was, but it was pretty amazing too. I learned a lot about myself living there.”

  “Tell me.”

  I loved that he cared enough to ask about the life I’d lived there. It was as though he really wanted to get to know the woman I’d become while we’d been apart. “I used to think that I wanted to travel around the world, work as head chef in a bunch of five-star restaurants, then come home and apply all the knowledge I’d gained. You know, open my own little restaurant with world class cuisine.”

  “I remember.” He kissed my forehead, making me melt.

  “But being in Paris made me miss home, my family and friends.” And you. There were nights when I missed you so much I almost picked up the phone. “And I realized that I loved experimenting and preparing different foods, but when I’d cook for myself or…” Shit. I couldn’t say a date. Not to him.

  “What were you going to say?” he asked, tipping my face up to meet his with an index finger under my chin.

  “Um…” I bit my lip, focusing on his mouth instead of his intense gaze.

  “Another man. That’s what you were going to say, isn’t it?”

  I closed my eyes. “Dex, I don’t want to get into an argument with you or—”

  “I get it, it’s okay,” he said, softly. “Your life went on without me. There were other men. Do I like it? Hell no. But I didn’t expect you to be alone all that time.”

  Wow. I never thought I’d see the day when Dex would be understanding about me spending time with other men. He really had changed. Maybe even more than I had.

  “Thank you,” I said, resting my hand on his chest. “Anyhow, when I’d cook for pleasure instead of business, I’d realize it really was the simpler dishes bursting with flavor that I’d gravitate to. The kind of stuff my mother and grandmother taught me to cook.”

  “Makes sense.”

  I laughed. “So, I guess that fancy education and learning to be a world-class chef was all for naught. I could have done what I plan to do with the knowledge I gained as a kid in Grandma Cora’s kitchen.”

  He smiled. “So, simple home-cooked food. That’s your plan?”

  “Kind of.” There was more to it than that. Presentation was important. So was locally grown. And I still wanted to experiment to offer my customers something they perhaps hadn’t tried before.

  “I’m sure you’ve got it all figured out,” he said, skimming my shoulder with his fingertips.

  I laughed. “We didn’t get around to looking at those plans.”

  He smirked. “I’m not complaining. Are you?”

  “Definitely not.”

  We still weren’t addressing the elephant in the room. What this meant. Was it a onetime deal or the start of something more? Had we just hit the reset button on our relationship or did we even have the courage to define what this was? I wasn’t sure if I did.

  “Tell me about your business. What’s your life like now?”

  “Well, I told you I left the club. It wasn’t easy, but I knew it was time. Those guys were a huge part of my life. My brothers. But I knew where I was headed if I stayed and it wasn’t where I wanted to end up.”

  I’d begged him to leave, but the timing obviously hadn’t been right then. He had to leave on his terms, when he was ready, and I could respect that now.

  “But you’re happy?” For some reason that was really important to me, even now. I wanted him to be happy, content with his life.

  “That’s a loaded question.” He sighed. “Most days? Yeah, I’m happy, but we all have our dark days, right?”

  I know I did. Dark and lonely, when I wondered how it all went so wrong with Dex. And why I couldn’t seem to find love again. Was I destined to spend the rest of my life alone?

  “Yeah, we do.”

  “Sometimes I get lonely,” he admitted, surprising me.

  Dex didn’t do vulnerable. He didn’t talk about his feelings or how other people’s actions impacted him. Except when it came to his jealous streak. Then it was painfully obvious.

  “You do?” I tipped my head back to look at him. “Even with women like- what was her name-Amber, hanging around?” Ugh! I hated that I’d brought her up again. It made me look insecure, like I was fishing for him to stroke my ego.

  He chuckled. “Honey, a dozen Ambers wouldn’t add up to one of you.”

  I dipped my head to hide my smile. Maybe fishing paid off sometimes. “Is that so?”

  “You and I had a deeper connection. At least I like to think we did.”

  “I guess we wouldn’t have gotten married otherwise, huh?” He linked his left hand through mine and held them up. We’d both worn gold bands before. His plain, mine with diamonds to match the engagement ring he’d later given me.

  “Did you keep it?” he asked, his voice gruff.

  I knew he was talking about the rings. “Of course. Did you?” If he hadn’t, I didn’t want to know.

  “Yeah, tucked away in a drawer at home. It took me a long time to take it off, honestly.” He laughed. “I think I went out on my first post-divorce date, six months after the ink dried on those damn papers, still wearing my wedding ring.”

  My jaw dropped. “You waited until six months after the divorce to go on your first date?”

  He squeezed me, brushing his lips across the top of my head. “Don’t look so surprised. You haunted me for a hell of a long time. I knew if I’d gone out with someone else too soon I would have wasted the whole evening thinking about you, so I figured why bother?”

  I was flattered that he’d thought of me at all in the months after our divorce. Given some of the hateful things we’d said to each other, I was sure he’d buy a voodoo doll that looked like me and stick pins in it late at night while I was trying to learn how to sleep without him.

  “How ‘bout you? How long did you wait to start dating?”

  This conversation was so strange to me, but I was impressed by our maturity. We seemed willing to face the good, the bad, and the ugly, something we’d never been able to do before.

  “A few months, but it was a year before I took dating seriously. I was honestly too busy with my job for the longest time to even think much about a relationship.”

  ***

  Dex

  Listening to Cora talk about other men was getting on my last fucking nerve, but I smiled and nodded like a dumbass, taking it all in. I wanted to roll her over on her back and lick her until she remembered why she’d married me, not one of those other losers. But I couldn’t do that. Because she didn’t want to have sex with the guy she divorced. She’d only want to have sex with the more mature, evolved version of that guy. So that’s who I had to figure out how to be. Because what just happened between us was not going to be a onetime thing. I was sure of that. I refused to go back to fucking poor substitutes when I could have the real deal again.

  “I guess I should get going.” Not that I wanted to. I wanted her to invite me to spend the night, to have breakfast with her in the morning and maybe I could invite her to dinner tomorrow night, under the guise of checking out what the other restaurants in the area had to offer. Yeah, I was putting my game plan together and it had to be good.

  “Early morning?” she asked, resting her head in her upturned palm after pulling the sheet a little higher to cover her breasts.

  “I have to visit a couple of job sites.” We were busy as hell, with crews at eight different job sites and estimates on several more in the works. “Do a couple of estimates. Order materials for…” I smiled when I realized she was watching me intently. “What?”

  “You’ve really got it all together, haven’t you?”

  “Uh, I don’t know about that.” But if she thought so I wouldn’t argue.

  “Cheryl told me you’d been investing in real estate.”

  “Oh, she did, huh?” It’s not something I would have volunteered right away, but I wasn’t sorry she
knew I was planning for the future, something she’d always advocated when we were together. “Yeah, I guess all those lectures about financial security sunk into this thick skull, after all.”

  I wanted her to know that whether she realized it or not, I owed a lot of my success to her. She’d been the catalyst for me leaving the club, starting my own business, and investing in real estate. I took a long hard look at the guy she left and didn’t like him much. I could see why she didn’t either. He didn’t take anything seriously: work, bad habits, planning or saving for the future. Not the kind of man most women would want as the father of their children, that’s for damn sure.

  “It’s all happened so fast for you,” she said, resting her hand on my chest. “I’m impressed.”

  Sometimes it felt that way for me too, but I’d accomplished most of my goals the hard way, with good old-fashioned grit, determination, and long days. “Don’t be so impressed. I’ve still got a long way to go, but I’m getting there.”

  Her blue eyes softened as she said quietly, “I’m really proud of you, Dex.”

  Damn. That hit me hard. “Thanks, babe.” I pulled her close, kissing her. “I know I didn't tell you this when I should have, but being with you really did make me a better man. Or at least want to be. It took a while before I actually took the steps to start turning my life around.”

  “So, what’s next for you?”

  “Good question.” First on the agenda? Another night with you. Maybe in my king-sized bed next time. “Business is growing, so I’d like to keep that going. I’ve got my eye on a couple of project houses. I’ll probably be able to buy those and fund the improvements with the profits I pulled out of the business last year.”

  Again, she was looking at me like she was in awe, and it was kind of freaking me out. “What?”

  “I just can’t get over the change,” she said, smiling. “It’s like you’re the same guy, but you’re not.”

  I’d take that as a good thing. The guy I’d been then was dumb enough to let her go. The new, improved version was a hell of a lot smarter. “Some things haven’t changed thought, right?” I asked, nibbling her neck to lighten the mood.

  “You mean the way you can turn me inside out with a touch?” she asked, sounding breathless. “No, that definitely hasn’t changed.”

  I closed my arms around her. “Go ahead, say it. I’ve been with boys, Dex. It’s nice to be back in a man’s arms.” I made it sound like I was teasing, but I wasn’t. I wanted to hear her tell me no one had compared to me.

  She giggled, curling her small hand around my bicep when I pinned her to the mattress, kissing her neck. “Judging by the way you set me off tonight, I’d say that’s pretty obvious.”

  I chuckled, feeling satisfied. “Yeah, how many times did you come for me? Three? Four? I lost track.” My hand glided over her taut stomach. “We could always go for five.”

  “As tempting as that offer is,” she said, gripping my wrist just before I reached the Promised Land. “I have an early morning too. I have some contractors coming in to give me bids on the job.”

  I grunted, knowing no one could do for her what I could. “Who?”

  “Um, Morrison’s.” She frowned, as though trying to remember. “Elite. And Johnson and Sons, I think.”

  They were all reputable, but they weren’t known for finishing on time and on budget. I was. That’s why we often had to turn business away, because we were so damn busy. But that didn’t mean I wouldn’t squeeze her project in. It might mean hiring a few more guys, but it would be a small price to pay if it meant I could help her realize her dream.

  “Well, you have to let me bid on it too,” I announced, letting my hand curl possessively around her hip. “You know I’ll do right by you.”

  “You certainly have tonight,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around my neck.

  “Good,” I said, winking. “Another satisfied customer.”

  She laughed. “You are so bad.”

  I kissed her again, a long, lingering kiss that I hoped would result in an invitation to spend the night, but it didn’t. She was clearly still trying to sort things out and I didn’t want to push.

  “I can probably stop by around lunchtime tomorrow to have a look at those plans.” It would take me a day or two to put a proposal together, but I’d make sure my bid was the lowest. No way in hell was I letting someone else do this for her.

  “Perfect. My last appointment should be over by then.”

  I sighed as I rolled out of bed and scooped my jeans up off the floor. “Hey,” I said, glancing over my shoulder. “I never got to see it. Roll over.”

  She grinned as she lifted the blanket and rolled over to flash her perfect round ass.

  The tattoo had my name in a heart with a banner slashing through it and brightly colored flowers as a backdrop. It was a work of art and I fucking loved it. She may have taken the ring off, but that would be with her forever.

  I growled as I leaned over and traced the script letters with my tongue.

  She wiggled, moaning a little.

  I continued to drop kisses on the tattoo while my hand slipped between her legs. She was so wet for me. It was going to take everything in me not to take her again. But I wanted to leave her hot and throbbing, desperate for a repeat tomorrow night.

  “You like that, baby?” I whispered, thrusting two fingers deep inside her as she raised her hips off the bed.

  “Yes,” she panted. “Oh God, yes.”

  “Mmmm…” I licked the swell of her ass before grabbing her hips and hoisting her ass higher. I spread her legs wider and flipped over on my back so her core was right where I wanted it, aligned with my mouth.

  “Oh fuck, Dex.”

  My girl rarely swore. Just with me. When I pissed her off or got her so turned on she couldn’t help herself.

  I spread her lips wide, flattening my tongue and swiping it over her slit. Fuck, she tasted incredible. Sweet and tangy. Like her. And us. A reminder that she was mine.

  I dipped my tongue inside her, making her squirm as she grabbed the headboard for balance. “More.”

  She didn’t have to worry. I had no intention of stopping. I was as addicted to giving as she was to getting. I grazed her clit with my tongue before swirling it, driving her crazy as she started grinding on my face.

  I was so hard. I wanted to suggest a little quid pro quo, but reminded myself this was about leaving her wanting more. More of me and more of my cock.

  I gripped her hips, extending my hands to spread her wide. She was completely bare and so soft. Nothing turned me on more than easy access. I was relentless, working her over with my tongue while she lost her breath on a sigh only to regain it again on a silent scream.

  She gripped the headboard harder, sinking back against my mouth. “Dex… oh… I’m right there…” She rotated her hips, pushing back harder, moving faster. “I’m…”

  I curled my arms around her hips and held her still while I continued to lap at her, all the way to an orgasm. She finally cried out, begging me to stop.

  I laid her pliable body down on the mattress gently with a satisfied smirk. “You don’t look like you could move if you tried, gorgeous. If you won’t be needing your keys before noon, why don’t you give them to me? I’ll lock up when I leave and bring them back when I come to give you that estimate tomorrow.”

  She nodded, her eyes glazed. “Sounds like a plan. They’re in my purse, or maybe on the table by the door. I don’t remember.”

  I grinned. “I’m sure I can find them. You just rest.”

  “I feel bad not walking you down,” she said, reaching for me.

  “Don’t feel bad.” My gaze traveled up and down her body. “I love leaving you like this. Satisfied. Satiated. Worn out.”

  “You have no idea.” She rested her palms on my jaw. “Tonight was one of the most amazing, unexpected, incredible surprises ever. Thank you.”

  “For me too, sweetheart.”

  Chapter Five
r />   Cora

  My heart started hammering as soon as Dex walked through the door the following day. He was wearing worn jeans, a gray plaid flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled back and undone over a black t-shirt. On his feet, black construction boots, and a pair of sunglasses shaded his eyes. But I could tell he was sizing up his competition. Bryan Johnson was the son of the owner of the company, and a shameless flirt.

  “Dex,” Bryan said, extending his hand. “Didn’t know you were bidding on this job too. Last I heard you were too busy to take on any new projects.”

  Dex set a paper bag and two take-out cups of coffee down on a makeshift table I’d set up in a corner. It served as my dining table/desk, where I made calls and worked on my computer.

  “Just doing Cora here a favor,” he said, giving me a half-smile that made my heart trip.

  “You guys related?” Bryan asked, gesturing between us. “Same last name, right?”

  His eyes lingered on mine and I could tell he was shocked I’d kept his last name. “Um, Dex is my ex-husband,” I said, knowing I had to explain it was more than a coincidence.

  Bryan’s eyes widened as he raised his hands. “No shit? And you’re still on friendly terms?”

  “Very friendly,” Dex confirmed, his eyes sweeping over my body.

  I was wearing denim capris, a black tank, and flip-flops, but I may as well have been wearing peek-a-boo lingerie the way he was eye-fucking me. Bryan would have to be blind not to notice there was something still between us.

  “Oh, it’s like that is it?” Bryan asked, raising an eyebrow. “In that case, I’ll rescind that dinner invitation, Cora. I don’t wanna piss Dex off.” He laughed. “He’s a lot bigger than I am.”

  “And a lot meaner,” Dex added, unsmiling. “So that’s probably a good idea.”

  So, he still had a jealous streak? I’d have to file that bit of information away and analyze it later. Jealous Dex had always been a crazy bastard who wouldn’t hesitate to beat the shit out of anyone who touched me. I’d hoped he’d outgrown that too, but now I had to wonder if that was too much to ask for.